So my sister hates being alone in the house at night, and my mother wants to do something about this. So I am chubby, and my mother wants to do something about this. So we live in a crappy area, and my mother admits that there's nothing she can do about this. Obviously the only solution is to learn a martial art.
When I was a little girl, growing up in a rural farming village in the heart of China (ok Blenheim) I studied karate for about 4 years or so. Sadly I was more like Po in Kung Fu Panda (well-meaning and determined, but ultimately ineffective (okay, and fat)) than actual Master, but it was fun. I also had to do behaviour charts - something to do with discipline & respecting one's parents - but hopefully I'm now deemed old enough to skip those.
So Kate and I are going to trot happily off to the dojo (I think that's what we're going to trot off to, anyway) and become karate warriors. KARATE WARRIORS!!!
In other news, I was just compared to 'Charon in disguise' by an ex. "Well, you're the boat to hell, aren't you?" Charon wasn't the boat to Hell! He drove the boat to Hell. Important distinction. I don't even have a boat. Also, I don't charge. Charon charged. Why am I the boat to Hell anyway? Just wait until I can kick people's asses, then I'll show you the boat to Hell, buddy.
Speaking of pointing oneself in the direction of Hell (see what I did there?) I have sent off my CV and cover letter to two reputable businesses, and joined a temp agency. Mainly because I can no longer take the "La la la, I can't hear you, bananas in mah ears!" approach to my quickly dwindling financial hoard. Sigh. Spend spend spend go I. Dwindle, dwindle, dwindle goes it. Spend! Dwindle. Spend! Dwindle. Spend! Dwindle. Check balance! Fuck.
This evening I am going to my impossibly coloured friend Andrea's house - her husband is away and she needs company.
;)
No, not like that. We are going to watch the first episode of American Idol, Season 12 Billion, and laugh heartily and cruelly at the pitiful contestants! Ha Ha Ha! And then maybe NZ's Next Top Model ("Go back to Methven, bitch") if it's started yet. And have some wine, and maybe watch a DVD (although she has many, I have offered to go to the DVD store because I have a crush on the guy who works there. I have become much more punctual with my DVD returns. Let it not be said that my tendency to have crushes on everyone is without its fringe benefits!) It will be nice! It will be nice.
Showing posts with label pandas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pandas. Show all posts
Friday, January 23, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
Things That Rock (or not)
I have half an hour to kill before wandering off to yet another doctor's appointment, so here are a couple of little lists. Think of them as a "going up/going down" kind of thing. Because I have my finger so firmly on the pulse of society.
HOT
- Kung Fu Panda. They are not kidding when they say 'Prepare for Awesomeness.' I don't particularly enjoy kids' movies, mainly because I am a Grown Up, and I have a special level of disdain reserved for anything Pixar/Disney/Dreamworks did after they found Nemo, but I freakin' love this movie. If you have not watched it, watch it. And then say what Kate did. ("I would probably have enjoyed it but you hyped it up way too much.")
- The weather. In a meteorological sense. It is so hot right now.
- Smashbox makeup. Ridiculously expensive, but totally worth it. It's designed for photographers' models, and the Halo Powder (a mineral foundation, also very 'in' right now) has magic properties. You know how normally, when someone takes a photo of you after two glasses of wine, your face is red and shiny? When you're wearing Halo Powder it isn't. (It won't do anything about your double chin and the wine you spilt on your top, though.)
- Jase at the Genesis Energy contact centre in Hamilton. I called him yesterday to do power-bill related things and he was awesome! I'm always pleasantly surprised when I get a CSR who is helpful and intelligent. Jase, you are meant for better things. Also you sound kind of cute so if you're reading this leave me a comment with your phone number or something.
- Christchurch's bus system. So much better than Wellington's. The buses actually arrive! More often than not, they arrive on time! There are also little electronic things at the bus stops that you can look at to see exactly how long it will be until your bus arrives. (Not so cool is the set fare of $2.80 to anywhere, but then I guess you can't have everything.)
NOT
- Blogger's perverse attempts to control my use of bold and italics. God damn it, Blogger! When I hit Ctrl+I again, it means I no longer want my writing to be slanted to the (hold on while I scroll up) right. You're a computer. You should be able to do this. It's not rocket science. Although computers can probably do that too, so basically there is no excuse for your cavalier disregard for my typeface preferences.
- Walking. I forgot that Christchurch's nice, relaxed layout (as opposed to Wellington, which appears to have been designed by a really easily distracted town planner who did the layout the night before it was due, while he was drunk) means that you can't walk anywhere in less than half an hour. Dumb ol' Chch.
- Living with family. Yes, they are my family, and yes, I love them, but frankly I feel I am now too old to be nagged about shutting the fridge. For the love of God, mother! I am just pouring a glass of juice! It will take about 15 seconds! Mum: "But all the cold will fall out."
- The heat. I know it's on both lists but that's just because I was being clever. I'm not enjoying the heat - it's too much. It's like someone in Hell (which is directly under Chch, obviously) has opened their oven door and sent a huge rush of hot, stale air up into the city. ("But I'm just taking out the roast! It'll take, like, 15 seconds!")
HOT
- Kung Fu Panda. They are not kidding when they say 'Prepare for Awesomeness.' I don't particularly enjoy kids' movies, mainly because I am a Grown Up, and I have a special level of disdain reserved for anything Pixar/Disney/Dreamworks did after they found Nemo, but I freakin' love this movie. If you have not watched it, watch it. And then say what Kate did. ("I would probably have enjoyed it but you hyped it up way too much.")
- The weather. In a meteorological sense. It is so hot right now.
- Smashbox makeup. Ridiculously expensive, but totally worth it. It's designed for photographers' models, and the Halo Powder (a mineral foundation, also very 'in' right now) has magic properties. You know how normally, when someone takes a photo of you after two glasses of wine, your face is red and shiny? When you're wearing Halo Powder it isn't. (It won't do anything about your double chin and the wine you spilt on your top, though.)
- Jase at the Genesis Energy contact centre in Hamilton. I called him yesterday to do power-bill related things and he was awesome! I'm always pleasantly surprised when I get a CSR who is helpful and intelligent. Jase, you are meant for better things. Also you sound kind of cute so if you're reading this leave me a comment with your phone number or something.
- Christchurch's bus system. So much better than Wellington's. The buses actually arrive! More often than not, they arrive on time! There are also little electronic things at the bus stops that you can look at to see exactly how long it will be until your bus arrives. (Not so cool is the set fare of $2.80 to anywhere, but then I guess you can't have everything.)
NOT
- Blogger's perverse attempts to control my use of bold and italics. God damn it, Blogger! When I hit Ctrl+I again, it means I no longer want my writing to be slanted to the (hold on while I scroll up) right. You're a computer. You should be able to do this. It's not rocket science. Although computers can probably do that too, so basically there is no excuse for your cavalier disregard for my typeface preferences.
- Walking. I forgot that Christchurch's nice, relaxed layout (as opposed to Wellington, which appears to have been designed by a really easily distracted town planner who did the layout the night before it was due, while he was drunk) means that you can't walk anywhere in less than half an hour. Dumb ol' Chch.
- Living with family. Yes, they are my family, and yes, I love them, but frankly I feel I am now too old to be nagged about shutting the fridge. For the love of God, mother! I am just pouring a glass of juice! It will take about 15 seconds! Mum: "But all the cold will fall out."
- The heat. I know it's on both lists but that's just because I was being clever. I'm not enjoying the heat - it's too much. It's like someone in Hell (which is directly under Chch, obviously) has opened their oven door and sent a huge rush of hot, stale air up into the city. ("But I'm just taking out the roast! It'll take, like, 15 seconds!")
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