Excuse me, my bok choi is ringing

I found my baby bok choi-shaped phone! It is green and shaped like bok choi and generally very exciting and/or tacky, depending on your appreciation of awesomeness. I mean, lack of taste. Sadly there's no phone jack in my room, but this hasn't stopped me putting the BBCP on my desk in pride of place anyway. Am pretty sure that if I was ever to receive a direct message from God, He'd call on the BBCP. Phone jack or no.

Ew, work tomorrow. Do not want to go. The thing that annoys me the most about work is its total lack of disorganisation - they have no electronic database system (repeat customers/people to call back actually have to be written on pieces of paper - come on people are we or are we not living in the 21st century), no filing system to speak of, no central database of information on our product (there is a semi-regularly updated clearfile folder but I refuse to count this), a poor training system, and a grammatically incorrect and completely unworkable sales script. Give me five days, a lot of stationery and a team of midgets (filing midgets and computer programming midgets, mainly - midgets because they'll take up less room and hey, the recession's hitting everyone, right? Jobs for midgets!) and I could have the whole lot sorted out. I just want to FIX THINGS.

Also I want to not make any more telemarketing calls.

Ah well - am trying to remind myself that I hated EFTPOS when I first started there, and look how that turned out! Oh yeah that's right I continued to hate it and turned into a borderline alcoholic. Hmm.

Perhaps, tomorrow, I will stage a revolution. Or maybe next Monday, when I've been there a little longer and completely cemented my reputation - and Oh My God, iTunes, which is on Random in the other room, has just started playing Red and Black from Les Miserables, which is possibly the most revolutionary song ever written (apart from do you hear the people sing?, but I don't like that). It is a sign!

Telemarketers, the time is now! Rise from your swivel chairs! Let us stand as one against the evil corporate oppressor!

No more shall our lifeless fingers play upon our filthy, standard-issue keypads!

No longer shall our delicate lower-class buttocks grace these ergonomically unsound chairs!

Comrades, throw off your headsets! The revolution has come!

Soon, from the highest of CBD towers, will fly the symbol of justice, of righteousness, of freedom...

The Headset and Biro!

Today is not my birthday.

Currently hiding from Kate, who is busy repaying my generosity in offering to dyeing her hair (and subsequent hideous ginger dye job & appropriately insulting new nicknames) by playing loud Jonas Brothers tunez. Specifically, that 'slipping into the lava one.' The one that sounds like something Maroon 5 would have written if they were younger and a little more camp.

I'm slipping into the lava/I'm one of the Jonas Brothers/I wish I was old enough to be in a band where they don't make you wear a promise ring/Oh well I'm still significantly richer than you.

Probably not the actual words, but then you never know.

Did you know you can buy heated fingerless gloves that plug into your USB port? Like electric blankets for your hands. They're going on my Useless Novelties wishlist, right next to the towel that has BUTT printed on one end and HEAD on the other.

Have found a site which has collected images of things people have written on money. An alarming number of people seem to write their shopping lists on $20 bills. Actually makes sense if you think about it - you don't need the list after you've been to the supermarket, and you're not going to forget to take it with you. Save trees! Deface money. It may be the ultimate act of hippiedom. Maybe I should alert the hippie faction. I'm not actually sure if we have a hippie faction (hippie faction, hippie faction. Ridiculously fun to say quickly). I think the majority of Christchurch's hippies are actually just stoners.

Going to a comedy show tonight. I hope it's funny.

Am feeling flat. Below is a graph of how my day has gone so far, with important events noted. I
realise the thought of this becoming a graph-a-day blog is a horrendous one. I'll try and exercise a little more self-control in future.