I have sold many terminals! I am well ahead of my silly colleagues! I am fabulously wealthy sales goddess!
Also, I am very good-looking.
The bit about the wealthy was a lie - found out last night that trip to australia (which is in a MONTH) is not going to cost $500 more, but $974 more! ...fuck. That is the kind of money which I do not have. If anyone has ever thought "wow, she is a great friend, I would like to reward her financially" or "oh yes, I owe her money, Sarah," or "gosh I would pay to sleep with her" well come on people, NOW'S THE TIME.
Am obviously a little worried about financial ruin. However my Mummy is coming to stay for a couple of days, which will be really nice.
Had drink with the BBC, who is nice and does not look like Paul McCartney, not even a little bit. We magically connected and are now going to go and live in the mountains and rear eftpos machines, and have small, very financially savvy children (financially savvy part will come from his side, but I will teach them all they need to know about herding terminals).
He is, however, still with girlfriend but flirting madly with self. My self, not his, although what he gets up to in his own time is none of my business.
Why does this so frequently occur (like, twice)? Why? Why? WHY??!!
It must be because I am so attractive and emotionally mature.
I must go home early and clean the house before my Mummy arrives - much as she loves me, she would not love the current state of my room, which is littered with beer bottles and empty fag packets and the like. I call it 'hobo-chic interior decor', but she calls it 'filthy mess.' We agree to disagree and also that I am a slattern.
Other news? hmmm. Not really. Except that now it is time to return to the fold! the fold of work. I think I have had too much coffee.
Showing posts with label the BBC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the BBC. Show all posts
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The Trouble with Indie Rap is that nothing rhymes with Zeitgeist
Valentine's Day! All of my roses, chocolates etc. appear to have been lost in transit. Perhaps when I get back to work after lunch they will be on my desk in their warm, fuzzy hordes.
Mind you, perhaps no valentines is not so bad - workmate was telling me about a friend of theirs who got breakfast in bed (consisting of cup of coffee and toast cut in the shape of a heart). Right up there with "Happy Valentine's Day, darling, here's a cup of tea and a sandwich from Starmart."
Am spending the evening in traditional singleton fashion - get nothing, get bitter, get drunk. Actually am going to movie with (also unattached) flatmate, then out for margaritas with some people from work...this is all well and good until you consider that the second, unofficial part of the plan is drink far too much, txt someone inappropriate declaring my love in what seems at the time a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek fashion but is actually just blunt, then going to bed and waking to hideous memory of txt. Hurrah! Perhaps will prove I am a grown-up by not doing that.
Ha, ha.
In other news, BBC is not as single as previously hoped (have I already mentioned this? can't remember), so we will just be Friends. I have totally already mentioned this (it's all flooding back), but would just like to restate that People who Aren't Single Shouldn't Flirt. Just like people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, except with no similarity apart from the sentence structure.
Am now going to go and get something to EAT then go back to WORK.
Mind you, perhaps no valentines is not so bad - workmate was telling me about a friend of theirs who got breakfast in bed (consisting of cup of coffee and toast cut in the shape of a heart). Right up there with "Happy Valentine's Day, darling, here's a cup of tea and a sandwich from Starmart."
Am spending the evening in traditional singleton fashion - get nothing, get bitter, get drunk. Actually am going to movie with (also unattached) flatmate, then out for margaritas with some people from work...this is all well and good until you consider that the second, unofficial part of the plan is drink far too much, txt someone inappropriate declaring my love in what seems at the time a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek fashion but is actually just blunt, then going to bed and waking to hideous memory of txt. Hurrah! Perhaps will prove I am a grown-up by not doing that.
Ha, ha.
In other news, BBC is not as single as previously hoped (have I already mentioned this? can't remember), so we will just be Friends. I have totally already mentioned this (it's all flooding back), but would just like to restate that People who Aren't Single Shouldn't Flirt. Just like people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, except with no similarity apart from the sentence structure.
Am now going to go and get something to EAT then go back to WORK.
Friday, February 08, 2008
New Post
Why is Blogger set to Korean? I am not Korean.
What I am is very bored and on my lunch break. Work has been amazingly dull today. Even whilst being yelled at by someone for something (sorry about all the vagueness but I'm sure you understand it's all very hush-hush, old chap) that wasn't actually anything to do with me I was bored. I couldn't even muster up the energy to be righteously angry. Perhaps I am jaded? When one is tired of peddling mobile card processing solutions, one is tired of life.
Not helping the boredom is that BBC (Business Banker Crush, for those of you who get confused by my constantly self-evolving love life and need to be reminded from time to time) has not deigned to email me today. Alas! Alas Alack! See, you would think this might make me more productive but it doesn't. It just makes me more prone to sulks.
I don't wanna go back to work after lunch :( I wanna start DRINKING. But I can't start drinking until after the company meeting, which although about as exciting as a particularly boring vomit and equally as appealing does mean I don't have to do any work from about 4. Factoring in some time for pre-meeting excitement I may not have to do anything else all afternoon! In stark contrast to this morning, of course.
i have an online friend who is telling me about how he talked a friend out of suicide by making an analogy using sexuality and Dance Dance Revolution. I am now waiting with bated breath to see how exactly he linked these two (apparently) unrelated themes.
"You play and you play and your feet ache and your chest feels like it's on fire and even your wrists start to hurt"
"But you keep playing because when you pass a song or beat your old record it's really worth it"
"Life's sort of like that."
I don't think anything else I can add will top that.
What I am is very bored and on my lunch break. Work has been amazingly dull today. Even whilst being yelled at by someone for something (sorry about all the vagueness but I'm sure you understand it's all very hush-hush, old chap) that wasn't actually anything to do with me I was bored. I couldn't even muster up the energy to be righteously angry. Perhaps I am jaded? When one is tired of peddling mobile card processing solutions, one is tired of life.
Not helping the boredom is that BBC (Business Banker Crush, for those of you who get confused by my constantly self-evolving love life and need to be reminded from time to time) has not deigned to email me today. Alas! Alas Alack! See, you would think this might make me more productive but it doesn't. It just makes me more prone to sulks.
I don't wanna go back to work after lunch :( I wanna start DRINKING. But I can't start drinking until after the company meeting, which although about as exciting as a particularly boring vomit and equally as appealing does mean I don't have to do any work from about 4. Factoring in some time for pre-meeting excitement I may not have to do anything else all afternoon! In stark contrast to this morning, of course.
i have an online friend who is telling me about how he talked a friend out of suicide by making an analogy using sexuality and Dance Dance Revolution. I am now waiting with bated breath to see how exactly he linked these two (apparently) unrelated themes.
"You play and you play and your feet ache and your chest feels like it's on fire and even your wrists start to hurt"
"But you keep playing because when you pass a song or beat your old record it's really worth it"
"Life's sort of like that."
I don't think anything else I can add will top that.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Andrea Suggested I Update my Blog
...and so I am! Although I don't really have anything exciting to report. I do, however, have several unexciting things to report, as below:
- work is the same but worse. if it were plotted on a graph where y = time and x = excitement it would show up as a steadily declining line. This could also be said of graphs where y = time and x = job satisfaction/financial security. however if x = temptation to crack entirely and run amok with stapler, stapling faces of co-workers (y still = time) the line would be pointing the other way.
- my older sister emailed me saying "I used to babysit for a guy who I just found on Facebook- you should Facebook him and ask him on a date!" I have never met him in my life and wouldn't know him from a bar of soap. Thusly my love life is summed up (and no, I didn't Facebook him. It's weird. What would you say?) Also in my love life are (deep breath is taken to reel off list of names)
Annoying, Really Stupid Ex (ARSE) - has not yet come to terms with the idea that I am NOT madly in love with him, despite the fact that we went out for a whole, beautiful week and a half (actually). Also thinks that he knows me really well and can therefore predict everything I will say and analyse everything I am thinking. I have discovered that that is my single most hated trait in anyone. This is why we only went out for a week and a half.
Persistent Emo Teen (PET) - Persistent. Emo. Teen. What more is there to say?
Business Banker Crush (BBC) - although I have only talked to him on the phone and over the E Mail, we are going to get married and have many children. Gah, no we're not! But we might go out for a drink next week. Watch this space.
And that will do for list of names (shan't feature EVERYONE because who has that kind of time, honestly, and also I can't think of any more snappy acronyms - GFISOSWWD(BWIJAF) (guitarist friend I sort of slept with while drunk (but who is just a friend)) doesn't have the same ring to it as ARSE and PET and BBC. ARSE!
other unexciting news? hmmm. am still apparently going to Brisbane with band.
Bean Ribs! Although Trumpet Player Nunchi Friend declared recently that he is not, in fact, going to Beanribs after all, which was a pain in the Annoying Really Stupid Ex because we had a sort of "you go, I go" deal but now it's just "I go, I go". and that's not the same at all. Sigh. I really must remember to apply for leave.
Other events of note (that was not a band pun) include yesterday at work everyone having to be sat down and told about a new scheme we're implementing to make everyone all healthy. We are expected to join groups and exercise, on our lunch hour, with our workmates. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the point of a lunch hour was to EAT SOMETHING and NOT BE AROUND YOUR WORKMATES. Just shows how ignorant I can be, huh? So that's something I can look forward to. Walking group starts this week. I do not own any shoes for trotting about the town in, red in the face, clutching a sandwich with one hand and getting the Indy. GAH.
Speaking of work, had a hideous day yesterday in which every minor mistake I have ever made came back to haunt me. Do not want to go to work on Monday but must remind myself that other people out there are having worse days for example the man who wanted his terminals to arrive this morning (they are not going to because he filled his forms out all WRONG.)
Anyway, I have to go and meet a friend for lunch (we are going to do some walking) and then go home and have a beer. Ah, beer. I am sorry this post has not been witty and/or fascinating, but I am tired and not very funny :(. See that emoticon? That's how not funny I am. I don't know how to make a sad face at the end of a sentence without making him (why is it a boy? huge socio-political ramifications, note to self: write research paper) look like there's a huge spot on his chin. Perhaps he has a date? Perhaps this time next week I will have a date! I am going to stop typing now because it's just a stream of consciousness, and by consciousness I mean twaddle.
- work is the same but worse. if it were plotted on a graph where y = time and x = excitement it would show up as a steadily declining line. This could also be said of graphs where y = time and x = job satisfaction/financial security. however if x = temptation to crack entirely and run amok with stapler, stapling faces of co-workers (y still = time) the line would be pointing the other way.
- my older sister emailed me saying "I used to babysit for a guy who I just found on Facebook- you should Facebook him and ask him on a date!" I have never met him in my life and wouldn't know him from a bar of soap. Thusly my love life is summed up (and no, I didn't Facebook him. It's weird. What would you say?) Also in my love life are (deep breath is taken to reel off list of names)
Annoying, Really Stupid Ex (ARSE) - has not yet come to terms with the idea that I am NOT madly in love with him, despite the fact that we went out for a whole, beautiful week and a half (actually). Also thinks that he knows me really well and can therefore predict everything I will say and analyse everything I am thinking. I have discovered that that is my single most hated trait in anyone. This is why we only went out for a week and a half.
Persistent Emo Teen (PET) - Persistent. Emo. Teen. What more is there to say?
Business Banker Crush (BBC) - although I have only talked to him on the phone and over the E Mail, we are going to get married and have many children. Gah, no we're not! But we might go out for a drink next week. Watch this space.
And that will do for list of names (shan't feature EVERYONE because who has that kind of time, honestly, and also I can't think of any more snappy acronyms - GFISOSWWD(BWIJAF) (guitarist friend I sort of slept with while drunk (but who is just a friend)) doesn't have the same ring to it as ARSE and PET and BBC. ARSE!
other unexciting news? hmmm. am still apparently going to Brisbane with band.
Bean Ribs! Although Trumpet Player Nunchi Friend declared recently that he is not, in fact, going to Beanribs after all, which was a pain in the Annoying Really Stupid Ex because we had a sort of "you go, I go" deal but now it's just "I go, I go". and that's not the same at all. Sigh. I really must remember to apply for leave.
Other events of note (that was not a band pun) include yesterday at work everyone having to be sat down and told about a new scheme we're implementing to make everyone all healthy. We are expected to join groups and exercise, on our lunch hour, with our workmates. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the point of a lunch hour was to EAT SOMETHING and NOT BE AROUND YOUR WORKMATES. Just shows how ignorant I can be, huh? So that's something I can look forward to. Walking group starts this week. I do not own any shoes for trotting about the town in, red in the face, clutching a sandwich with one hand and getting the Indy. GAH.
Speaking of work, had a hideous day yesterday in which every minor mistake I have ever made came back to haunt me. Do not want to go to work on Monday but must remind myself that other people out there are having worse days for example the man who wanted his terminals to arrive this morning (they are not going to because he filled his forms out all WRONG.)
Anyway, I have to go and meet a friend for lunch (we are going to do some walking) and then go home and have a beer. Ah, beer. I am sorry this post has not been witty and/or fascinating, but I am tired and not very funny :(. See that emoticon? That's how not funny I am. I don't know how to make a sad face at the end of a sentence without making him (why is it a boy? huge socio-political ramifications, note to self: write research paper) look like there's a huge spot on his chin. Perhaps he has a date? Perhaps this time next week I will have a date! I am going to stop typing now because it's just a stream of consciousness, and by consciousness I mean twaddle.
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