Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Faggy Scarf and the Unfinished Novel

He's a kiddie's book character, the star of such titles as Faggy Scarf and the Straggly Goatee. Invented by Andrea and I (look look I can do hyperlinks! Thanks Zach), he has lots of adventures of the sort that your pretentious friend has. Coming soon: Faggy Scarf Sings Flat!

I have nothing of interest to blog about. I spent the entire day stocktaking, which means counting things. Here are some things currently residing in Woolworths Bush Inn, as counted by me:
- Licorice Allsorts, 71 packets
- Duraseal, 71 rolls (coincidence??)
- Freddo Frog 12-pack, 96 packs (yeah)
- Lavender scented squidgy thingy of fabric softener that reminds me of those 'pool worms' that you squeeze and they jump out of your hand (look like a penis; very hard to count), 153 packs.

Most exciting point of the day was probably when I was making a packet of pasta do a little dance (it was singing, "I got it from my marmot!" for the other packets of pasta) and then it accidentally fell off the shelf to its death and BURST all over the FLOOR and so I KICKED IT UNDER THE SHELF BEFORE ANYONE SAW. Then I went and counted something else and the brief moment of excitement was over.

Also I am confused by 'pasta' and 'egg pasta' costing the same amount of money, which makes no sense if one of them contains eggs & the other one doesn't, unless the eggs are somehow free or the eggless pasta has a lot of extra something else. I was going to compare the ingredient lists to see if there was any logic to this pricing decision but apparently we're just meant to count the products, not take an interest. Hmph.

And, you remember <(")> and his cousin ^^..^^? Of course you do.

Well, today at Spanish someone (possibly me) said something really inappropriate and Sean, who is the somewhat attractive boy who sits behind me, made this weird hand motion and I said "What is that?" and he replied, "Sexual Tension Jellyfish." It is the natural, uh, third musketeer in the Axis of Excellent Hand Gestures. You make one hand into a fist (palm down), and spread the other hand out flat, also palm down and with the fingers pointing away from you. Then you put the fisted hand on top of the flat hand and wiggle the fingers of the flat hand in a vaguely suggestive manner. Or, if you prefer, you can just do this:

;;O;;

AND SO THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE.

(Although he looks a bit like a crab. Hmmm. I'll work on it. Suggestions welcome.)

Boy from date (Date-Boy) just txt me which is nice as it means I did not completely terrify him, but inconvenient as now I have to txt him back and stuff. Sigh.

Tomorrow it is April Fool's Day


I am going to put a fish in the toilet

1 comment:

a cat of impossible colour said...

I am going to add that to my useless arsenal of hand-gestures immediately.