Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I was Sick! But now am Better.

Someone made an interesting comment about this blog yesterday - they said they much preferred reading my 'serious' short stories, which are invariably tragic and poignant (and, if we're being honest, crap) because they were more genuine, and my blog was...they paused. "Irritatingly naive?" I suggested. "Um, youthfully whimsical."

So now I am going to start a socio-political blog in which I write serious pieces about things I have studied long and hard - it is time to put away the whimsical trappings of youth in favour of insights into the nature of Life, Love, and the Inevitability of Change.

Just kidding! Here's a story about my mother and Batman. I didn't spell him 'Bathman' once.

My mother, who is notorious for falling asleep in movies, rented The Dark Knight to watch this evening.

Kate: "You won't like it."
Mum: "But I watched Batman Begins especially!"
Me: "Did you like that?"
Mum: "Don't remember. What was it about?"
Me: "Batman. And how he begins."
Kate: "With the Batcave? And Morgan Freeman?"
Mum looks blank.
Me: "He's a billionaire, but he's secretly Batman, and Michael Caine helps him."
Kate: "You like Michael Caine."
Mum looks blank.
Kate: "They flash the bat symbol on the sky to tell the people the Batman rides tonight."
Me: "The batcave is under his house. He has a girlfriend, but they can't bat be together."
Long pause.
Mum, with excitement: "Oh! Does he save a city? And have a Batmobile?"

Oh, you mean that Batman.

More interestingly, did you know you can get blacklight tattoos? They do it with a special ink that only shows up under a blacklight. They look like awesome I mean this:

There is no way you can tell me that's not pretty awesome.

The second one is kind of lame, but demonstrates how the tattoo doesn't show up under normal light. I mean, okay, so it's probably not so good for your skin, but oh well.

In related news, I saw a picture of a connect-the-dots tattoo:

It's a giraffe. Obviously.

That idea by itself is kind of cool in a hipsterish way, but listen to this.

What I really want is a connect-the-dots tattoo in normal ink, with the dots joined up in blacklight ink. I MEAN SERIOUSLY HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE.*

I know, I know, you're right: it would be difficult to choose something awesome enough. I mean the lady with the giraffe probably could've thought of something better. What would one get? Bok choi?

Also you'd have to carry a little blacklight around all the time. But it would still probably be worth it.

On the topic of Maybe Awesome, how do you feel about fibre-optic hair extensions?

They're so deliciously tacky. I really want some.

Also, I'm still waiting on your questions!

*not on a global scale of cool, just compared to how cool I normally am.


Kaileigh said...

LOL @ "It's about batman. And how he begins.
:) My mom used to fall asleep in movies too... even at the theater. Or maybe it was just Harry Potter movies... not sure :(

Kaileigh said...

Oh, and you know how on your blogger screen where it shows updates... the title "I was sick! But now am better" was right next to the small picture of the glow in the dark bones tattoo... and it looked like some kind of unsightly rash at first glance.

Anonymous said...

Haha I do tragic too (I'm not so sure about poignant). I have written four 'proper' stories in my life (as opposed to the microstories from high school), and three of them have involved death and/or violence. The one that didn't involved a woman who got pregnant without knowing how. :-P

Lol @ Batman Begins. My mum's like that too, even with tv shows that she's watched for years. 'Which one's Chris Warner, again?' (ok maybe not quite that bad).

Fibre-optic hair extensions: WANT. Srsly. NAO. I would wear them everywhere, and pretend they were my actual hair, and if someone asked me why my hair was sparkling, I'd just tell them I was part vampire.

Questions: What's your favourite vegetable? Who was your favourite Backstreet Boy? 5ive, BSB, NSync, Westlife, Boyzone, or Hanson? Which is the better word: daft, or loom? Discuss. What's the longest your hair's ever been? What's your middle name? How many bristles are there in your toothbrush? What's your favourite one-hit-wonder song? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Is that enough questions for now? :-P

WV: Uncere: street slang for 'insincere', used to chastise someone who is being coldly sarcastic. 'Wow, leaving your job application at the place you robbed was really smart'. 'Uncere man, uncere'.

Holly said...

"...if someone asked me why my hair was sparkling, I'd just tell them I was part vampire." <- EPIC WIN.