Someone made an interesting comment about this blog yesterday - they said they much preferred reading my 'serious' short stories, which are invariably tragic and poignant (and, if we're being honest, crap) because they were more genuine, and my blog was...they paused. "Irritatingly naive?" I suggested. "Um, youthfully whimsical."
So now I am going to start a socio-political blog in which I write serious pieces about things I have studied long and hard - it is time to put away the whimsical trappings of youth in favour of insights into the nature of Life, Love, and the Inevitability of Change.
Just kidding! Here's a story about my mother and Batman. I didn't spell him 'Bathman' once.
My mother, who is notorious for falling asleep in movies, rented The Dark Knight to watch this evening.
Kate: "You won't like it."
Mum: "But I watched Batman Begins especially!"
Me: "Did you like that?"
Mum: "Don't remember. What was it about?"
Me: "Batman. And how he begins."
Kate: "With the Batcave? And Morgan Freeman?"
Mum looks blank.
Me: "He's a billionaire, but he's secretly Batman, and Michael Caine helps him."
Kate: "You like Michael Caine."
Mum looks blank.
Kate: "They flash the bat symbol on the sky to tell the people the Batman rides tonight."
Me: "The batcave is under his house. He has a girlfriend, but they can't bat be together."
Mum, with excitement: "Oh! Does he save a city? And have a Batmobile?"
Oh, you mean that Batman.
More interestingly, did you know you can get blacklight tattoos? They do it with a special ink that only shows up under a blacklight. They look like awesome I mean this:
There is no way you can tell me that's not pretty awesome.
The second one is kind of lame, but demonstrates how the tattoo doesn't show up under normal light. I mean, okay, so it's probably not so good for your skin, but oh well.
In related news, I saw a picture of a connect-the-dots tattoo:
It's a giraffe. Obviously.
That idea by itself is kind of cool in a hipsterish way, but listen to this.
What I really want is a connect-the-dots tattoo in normal ink, with the dots joined up in blacklight ink. I MEAN SERIOUSLY HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE.*
I know, I know, you're right: it would be difficult to choose something awesome enough. I mean the lady with the giraffe probably could've thought of something better. What would one get? Bok choi?
Also you'd have to carry a little blacklight around all the time. But it would still probably be worth it.
On the topic of Maybe Awesome, how do you feel about fibre-optic hair extensions?
They're so deliciously tacky. I really want some.
Also, I'm still waiting on your questions!
*not on a global scale of cool, just compared to how cool I normally am.