Good gracious! One little mention from Mr London Street and my list of followers literally doubles overnight. Hello, new everyone! Am I famous? I feel famous.* Hello, new readers, and thank you for following me, if you have. (Old readers/followers: I haven't forgotten about you, but you're not as new and exciting right now.)
Anyway, if you're new, go over to Reasons to Read, it's educational.
And now, following a time-honoured tradition of writing crap on the one day people are actually reading it, I'm just going to do a short Three Beautiful Things post because I got STD (Shit To Do.) I really need to stop making up my own acronyms.
1. I went to see An Education at the film festival last night - I'd recommend it as not only is it very well cast but it's much more entertaining than I usually expect festival/arts films to be. The screenplay -which is very good - is by Nick Hornby, but don't let that put you off as he manages to restrain himself remarkably well throughout. Bonus: it's British, so no subtitles. Although when we went to see it there was an absolutely abhorrent, and I'm sorry if any of you were involved in making it but you really should have known better, NZ short film called The Six Dollar Fifty Man. Never see this, it is shite.
2. At the film festival, I saw Gorgeous Will! GW is a man I used to see all the time when I lived in Wellington, but as I only saw him when I was by myself no-one believed he was real. (I should probably note that I never spoke to GW, just saw him about all the time - waiting rooms at job interviews, wine tastings, bars and cafes. Should also probably note that his name may not actually be Will, but he looks like a Will.) I did see him in the supermarket once, when I was with my flatmate - I hissed, "That's him! That's Gorgeous Will!" but all she did was say "Where?" and then, eventually, "He's not really that gorgeous, he has small eyes," and then he was never quite the same. Never share your gorgeous strangers. Anyway, GW sat in front of me at the film last night - I was highly tempted to say hello and ask what he was doing in Christchurch, but then I remembered that I don't actually know him. Oh well, is nice to have him back, like the neighbours' cat that visits every so often, or a lone pubic hair that moves around the shower. If I see him again, maybe I'll say Hi. But probably not (small eyes, small eyes.)
3. I did my periodic check of Google searches that bring people to this blog yesterday - as well as the usual quota of "today is my birthday" there were four startling new entries! Four startlingly awesome new entries. Here they are:
"ant fucking" - this is a little weird but, I suppose, allowable and after all I did write that post about ants so ant stuff is kind of OK.
"i fuck my ant" - OK woah, not that kind of ant stuff, that is not OK. Let's hope that's a typo. Wait. Maybe it's actually less disturbing if it's not a typo. I have no idea but hey, if you're enjoying my blog and it's distracting you from other, less savoury activities then, um, hi.
"australians, don't fuck with them" - I'm pretty sure I never said that but OK, rather your ant than an Australian I suppose
and, hilariously, "it's not offensive" - just in case you were worried that my blog might have a tendency towards the offensive, what with all the ant fucking and whatnot.
*I'm not famous, am I.
EDIT: Holy crap, I just checked again and someone else got here through Googling "I what to fuck my ant." I'm now pretty sure that 'ant' is a horrible typo, and also that it's been the same person each time. Because really, how likely is it that three poor spellers are going to be simultaneously Googling the same branch of incest on one day?* (What would I know, perhaps there's a convention on.)
Someone out there either has a very sick mind or a very hot aunt.
Also, why do they keep clicking through to my blog? It's clearly not dedicated to the subject they are researching. How can I help, oh lost potential ant-fucker? Are you in need of spiritual guidance? Suggestions of how to delicately broach the subject? Literature? Video footage? (I can't help you with the last two.)
*you will note I have resisted the temptation to make a pun about how these Google searches could be 'related'