I'm sick. I hate being sick. I blame this on my co-worker who spent all of last week coughing and snorting and gurgling and generally making noises like a toilet being unblocked, all while refusing to a) go home or b) take any medication. I am of the firm belief that if you are sick you should either a) take a sick day, stay at home and whinge or b) fill yourself with medication and come to work. Option c), 'go to work when you are a disgusting bubbling snot hippo' is not one of the preferred options but it is the one my co-worker took and now it is all her fault that I am sick.
Today I went with the many-meds option but I became woozy and spelt Mr Hall's surname back to him as H-E-L-L and didn't quite realise what I'd done wrong, so if I feel this shitty tomorrow I'm not going in. Ha ha, work! Take that! (But I totally will go in because I have a big expensive colour ad to do and if I'm not there someone else will take it, probably Snot-Hippo, whose fault it is that I am sick in the first place.)
There was some cretin* on my bus this morning who had a cold. He sniffed on every inward breath. I am not exaggerating - every. single. one. I may have been a little more irritable than usual due to illness but seriously, by the time I had been on the bus for five minutes I wanted to punch him right in his stupid fat face. MAN. Then I turned around to glare at him and it turned out that on top of the sniffing he was naturally blessed with a backpfeifengesicht** anyway and in the end I had to debus a stop early so that I didn't whip my head round and shout, "Get a fucking hanky, you disgusting, snotty, cretinous freak!" before elbowing him in the nose and roaring triumphantly. Although I'm pretty sure no-one on the bus would've judged me.
Today I went with the many-meds option but I became woozy and spelt Mr Hall's surname back to him as H-E-L-L and didn't quite realise what I'd done wrong, so if I feel this shitty tomorrow I'm not going in. Ha ha, work! Take that! (But I totally will go in because I have a big expensive colour ad to do and if I'm not there someone else will take it, probably Snot-Hippo, whose fault it is that I am sick in the first place.)
There was some cretin* on my bus this morning who had a cold. He sniffed on every inward breath. I am not exaggerating - every. single. one. I may have been a little more irritable than usual due to illness but seriously, by the time I had been on the bus for five minutes I wanted to punch him right in his stupid fat face. MAN. Then I turned around to glare at him and it turned out that on top of the sniffing he was naturally blessed with a backpfeifengesicht** anyway and in the end I had to debus a stop early so that I didn't whip my head round and shout, "Get a fucking hanky, you disgusting, snotty, cretinous freak!" before elbowing him in the nose and roaring triumphantly. Although I'm pretty sure no-one on the bus would've judged me.
No other news except that on Friday a man put a $500 (!!) ad in the paper as he saw two men taking his Malamute puppy from his house, and he desperately wanted it back - 'no questions asked for much-loved puppy's safe return,' etc. And over the weekend the puppy thieves got spooked and tried to sell the puppy to a woman who had seen the ad and who alerted the police, at which point the nasty puppy thieves dumped the puppy in a park...where it was found by two schoolchildren and returned to its home. Hooray for the safe puppy!
Sometimes I get so caught up in grizzling about all the shitty, disappointing stuff people do that I forget that there are safe puppy stories too. But there are.
And the Safe Puppy lived happily ever after until one day, Pa went out hunting
Also I've been really lax about replying to comments - sorry guys. I will get round to this really soon.
*settle down, he wasn't actually a cretin
7 comments:
Everyone has the flu. I've taken to wearing one of those blue cup-like face masks at work.
Feel better soon.
I hate being sick too. Fortunately for me, I am in the early 20s so am rarely sick. :)
Sorry for accidentally giving you internet-germs. I'm not contagious anymore, though, so it's all good.
PS: I love option b), cold meds really are the best.
PPS: sorry for being a semi snot-hippo last week. (I feel like I have to apologize to you on behalf of all the sickish people out there.)
PPPS: I hope you get better.
I am in the early 20s and frequently sick.
I don't get sick because I am Australian and, therefore, immune to all the weak germs you New Zealanders just can't seem to shake. Soon, New Zealand will be ours! OURS!!!!!!
September 23rd. It's my birthday. My brother didn't show up for the breakfast I thought we'd organised. Sitting alone now in someone else's house, I pathetically googled "today is my birthday" and was rewarded with a bunch of laughs. Thanks you!
otherworldly - here in little old NZ, we still laugh indulgently at people who wear those, because we are INVINCIBLE (it has something to do with all the sheep). I do feel better though. Thank you.
Sandy - temperature, or age?
Archduchess - it is OK, I have now passed the germs on to others so am no longer angry, just understanding. I feel better! thank you!
Andrea - I, too.
Tenny - YOU SHAG SHEEP HA HA HA HA
Anonymous - Seriously, this is why I have a blog. I'm so glad you liked it, thank you :)
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