Wednesday, October 14, 2009

NEW LOW, SCIENCE.

I read in the paper this morning that Scientists have done a (publicly funded) Study to determine the main cause of faecal contamination in the Avon River, which flows through central Christchurch. The result, which has astounded the scientific community, is that the main type of poo in the river is duck poo. Closely followed by dog poo.

I hope this was not a particularly expensive study.

I have been doing stock sale ads all morning. It is really boring. People selling bulls is dull. Dull Bulls, dull bulls, DULL BULLS. And yearlings. Dull yearlings.

Am swaying towards the short-stories-for-NaNo idea, mainly because there is so much scope. There is more scope than a telescope. Or something equally scopy (scopistic)? Periscopes and haloscopes and...and...mungoscopes. It was kind of tempting to do a novel, but then again, I would have to plan it rather than just make a list of half-formed ideas. Novel seems more 'proper' but short stories would be much more fun. Thank you for your suggestions so far, all two of them - come on, people, keep them coming! I gots like 50 of these to write! Do you expect me to come up with them myself? Sheesh. I'm a writer, not a creative.

Short post today because not only am I not finished with the Dull Bulls yet, but 3 death notices just landed on my desk. Sigh. STOP DYING PEOPLE CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY.

8 comments:

a cat of impossible colour said...

Hey, whoa, hold on a minute. Duck poo? There are ducks in the river? When did this happen?

a cat of impossible colour said...

WHY DOES NO ONE TELL ME THESE THINGS

omchelsea said...

That's incredible! Are they now going to spend a million bucks on some very complicated netting system to keep the ducks out of the water???

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

Well, there goes another 300,000 bucks on something we knew already.

otherworldlyone said...

Every time I leave a comment here...I smile at the "slap your flipperz".

Duck poo. I can't imagine how that got there.

Aleph Naught said...

You should write a book about a little lost puppy who gets stuck in a tree.

But the tree is actually the spirit of an indian princess, who possesses the puppy so as to find her long lost king (who has of course reincarnated as an unsuspecting businessman, or similar). Thus begins an epic cross-country journey to find this man who, as it turns out, owns a cattery and is allergic to dogs.

While all of this drama is going on the puppy princess is being pursued by the witch-doctor who turned her into a tree and poisoned her king. The witch-doctor is also in the form of some small furry animal. Perhaps a rat, since that carries appropriate connotations of bad-guy-ness.

And then somewhere in there there'll be some kind of epic showdown and the good guys will win and the princess will end up turning back into a human being somehow, and the dude will fall head over heels in love with her, and they will put the rat in a cage. One with a wheel.

Holly said...

WTF!? Who the hell approves that kind of study?! Apparently I should have read the actual newspaper this morning before work instead of a trashy magazine. Looks like I missed something. Poo.

IT IS ALLY said...

Andrea- I KNOW. I feel so betrayed.

chelsea - I certainly hope so. As a concerned citizen I may have to DEMAND this system.

Tenny - well...yes. Yes.

ow1 - I'm so glad someone likes the SLAP YOUR FLIPPERZ. Seriously.

A-N- I will do this! Remind me, if I forget.

Holly - I KNOW. Mind you a lot of the time the newspaper is pretty dull.