Friday, November 20, 2009

Fail Estate

Hey hey hey do you guys think that this is a good bit of scripture to put in a birth notice? I totally don't. "James 1:17 - Every good and perfect gift comes from above." Apart from this one, presumably. Which came out of a vagina.

Moving on, here are my Real Estate Top Threes for today. (Busy day, stuff to do, phoning it in.)

Top three headings:

"SUPER DUPER DO-ER UPPER"
Real estate agent, male 30s, seeks same for quiet nights in and weekend carpentry projects?

"Sleepout Helps Pay Mortgage"
Most boring news story ever.

"Living with Logfire."
Hilarious sitcom about a single woman in the city and her anthropomorphic heater?


Top three grammar spasms:

"Is this wonderful opportunity to get into a sought after area."
This was the first sentence in the ad. The whole first sentence. Personally, I think an ! would have improved it vastly.

"Two interconnecting living and flow to patios of outdoor entertaining."
Do you like outdoor entertaining? Well, this house has whole patios of it, and you can flow right onto them.

"With a view that can only be described as a world class panorama is this exquisite as new home, the house is at one with the terrain."
I'm not sure where to start with this.


Top three misc:

"3 DBLE bedrooms, SPACIOUS modern home with PARK OUTLOOK and internal access GARAGE"
I kind of really hope that the estate agent talks like this when they're showing people through the home. "And now, we're coming through to the -" clears throat, "MASTER BEDROOM!"

"Now's the time to 'buy' the best site in Wainui."
I know this guy, he has these sections for sale. They fell off the back of a truck, if you know what I mean.

"Come for an inlook to see the outlook."
Get out. GET OUT

5 comments:

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

there is so much wrong going on there, that I don't know where to start.

sas said...

also best and wainui = oxymoron

Madame DeFarge said...

Aren't you afraid that your brain will turn to mush after reading all this nonsense? It's too much for one person to cope with.

Holly said...

LOL at the all those terrible ads! Who makes these things up!?

1sourapple said...

This is extremely similar to what I do for a living, except I'm supposed to try and fix this horrible grammar abortion.

Like the guy last week who boasted that his house had "walk-in rooms." Which is great, I suppose, except if you're in a wheelchair. THEN WHAT!?!?