Monday, March 01, 2010

Monday Whinge

Customer gripes of the day - these have all happened this morning.

1. People who ask, "Are you a real person?" I am always insanely tempted to go "NO I AM A RO-BOT" and then push some phone buttons so they make a beeping tune.

2. This conversation:
Me: "Blah blah Paper blah blah Help you?!"
Them: "..."
Me: "Hello?"
Them: "Yes, hello?"
Me: "Can you hear me?"
Them: "No! I can't."
Did they... did they just guess what I said? Is my customer a psychic? (There is a woman who advertises in the Psychics column. She says, "Hello, is that the Press?" Maybe you should not go to her.)

3. This conversation, on my direct line:
Me: "Good morning, you're speaking with Ally."
Them: "Oh hi Ally! It's Jeff, I ran an ad on Saturday, remember me?"
Dear Jeff - I made 300 ads for the paper on Saturday. Unless you were a) a 'time-intensive customer' or b) a 'douchebag'* then I'm not likely to recall.

*same thing

4. This conversation, which happens a lot more frequently than it should:
Me: "Paper Blah blah What?"
Them: "My ad wasn't in the paper and I am not happy."
Me: "OK, what's your account number?"
Them: "Account details blah blah."
Me: "OK... the ad was on page H14."
Them: "No, it wasn't."
Me: "Yes, it was. Just under that big yellow one."
Them: "Oh! Oh, ok, I see it now." *click*

5. This one:
Me: "Welcome to Classifieds, this is Ally."
Them: "Yes. Classifieds, please."
Me: "YOU'VE FUCKING GOT THEM SIR."
or sometimes I say - "Oh! Maybe you want the other Classifieds? The Secret Classifieds? The... Classified Classifieds? Is that what you want? Go away."


In other news, my laptop power cord has broken again and I bought it in November.
Fuck you, technology.

8 comments:

Tarryn said...

LOL. Classified classifieds. Well done.

Luinae said...

You make me laugh!

Michelle said...

Once again, thank goodness for you.... I was just having a Monday whinge myself, but just to myself, as I didn't want anyone to think " my God! What will she be like by Friday?!", and then I found your whinge. I don't feel so bad now as I don't have to deal with customers!

wv: bolit: delicacy served in dutch indonesia consisting of frog testicles boiled in a broth of john mayer

IT IS ALLY said...

Tarryn - thank you! I thought it was clever. But also I stole it off someone who asked what area of the paper I worked in, and I said, "Classifieds," and he said, "Oh. Why can't you tell me?"

Luinae - yay! That is my general aim :D

Michelle - I tend to pick up throughout the week, although by Friday afternoon I'm getting a bit ratty because all I want is beer.
Also, that is SO not a delicacy. It is an awesome word verification though. My commenters are the BEST.

apple cheeked, potato shaped girl said...

Hey Ally whats wrong with your cord - I got mine fixed at an electrician shop for $12 which was much more reasonable than the $200 to replace it.

IT IS ALLY said...

Kat - they think it might be the bit where the cord connects to the laptop. Or the bit where the cord connects to itself. Or...FUCK IT

PegasusNZ said...

It is almost worth calling the classified papers in Chch to see if you get a Hello this is Ally. But then that would be stalkerish nah but would be funny?

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