Customer gripes of the day - these have all happened this morning.
1. People who ask, "Are you a real person?" I am always insanely tempted to go "NO I AM A RO-BOT" and then push some phone buttons so they make a beeping tune.
2. This conversation:
Me: "Blah blah Paper blah blah Help you?!"
Them: "Yes, hello?"
Me: "Can you hear me?"
Them: "No! I can't."
Did they... did they just guess what I said? Is my customer a psychic? (There is a woman who advertises in the Psychics column. She says, "Hello, is that the Press?" Maybe you should not go to her.)
3. This conversation, on my direct line:
Me: "Good morning, you're speaking with Ally."
Them: "Oh hi Ally! It's Jeff, I ran an ad on Saturday, remember me?"
Dear Jeff - I made 300 ads for the paper on Saturday. Unless you were a) a 'time-intensive customer' or b) a 'douchebag'* then I'm not likely to recall.
4. This conversation, which happens a lot more frequently than it should:
Me: "Paper Blah blah What?"
Them: "My ad wasn't in the paper and I am not happy."
Me: "OK, what's your account number?"
Them: "Account details blah blah."
Me: "OK... the ad was on page H14."
Them: "No, it wasn't."
Me: "Yes, it was. Just under that big yellow one."
Them: "Oh! Oh, ok, I see it now." *click*
5. This one:
Me: "Welcome to Classifieds, this is Ally."
Them: "Yes. Classifieds, please."
Me: "YOU'VE FUCKING GOT THEM SIR."
or sometimes I say - "Oh! Maybe you want the other Classifieds? The Secret Classifieds? The... Classified Classifieds? Is that what you want? Go away."
In other news, my laptop power cord has broken again and I bought it in November.
Fuck you, technology.