Today I found out a thing both surprising and sweet: the work car is capable of flirting.
I was out having coffee after an 8am meeting with a client, and I was driving the work Hyundai, which you might remember is my favourite car (even though you have to Drive Responsibly And Not Pull The Fingers because it's bright orange with the name of my work splashed across the side of it in blue. The other day in Work Hyundai I pulled up at the lights next to a branded car from a rival newspaper and when the lights changed we wasted them. My boss was pleased.)
Anyway, I was sitting there drinking my coffee when a zippy little electric blue hatch pulled into the carpark and the Hyundai went nuts. He flashed his lights and beeped his horn and did all this other crazy car alarm shit which I had never seen before. I didn't even know the Hyundai had an alarm, and I drive him on a daily basis. "Really?" I asked him (in my mind), "don't you think you're being a bit obvious?" "BEEP BEEP BEEP," he replied. Which I think is kind of like a wolf whistle. I'm not sure what the light flashing is.
I adopted an expression of annoyance and tried to look like it was definitely not my car, whilst frantically pushing the remote lock thingy in my pocket. Nothing happened, but after a couple of minutes the Hyundai was quiet.
Until five minutes later, when Electric Blue left the parking lot - as soon as she started her motor it was all BEEP BEEP FLASH FLASH HEY BABY NICE UNDERCARRIAGE, WOOO BEEP BEEP BEEEEP!
And the Hyundai was not quiet until I went over and unlocked him right in the door hole.
I hope you enjoyed that story. I have a date in ten minutes so I'm going to put some pants on now.