Bullets

Today's blog post is brought to you by a Series of Random Bullet Points. They're my new sponsor. By which I mean, I had some thoughts I wanted to share but I also had some wine and now I can't be bothered stringing all of the thoughts together. You're welcome.

• I love it when May Wang, high-profile bankrupt businesswoman, is in the news, because stuff.co.nz runs headlines like "Wang Appears in Auckland District Court," and "IRD slam Wang offer." Moral of the story? Never offer the IRD wang. Other moral of the story: I'm a five-year-old.
  
  
• The current news story - ooh, topical - about that Qantas (I really admire the sheer daring of Qantas in fielding a U-less Q) plane blowing an engine has brought to my attention the thoroughly delightful term 'superjumbo.' It appears that we have reached the point where we simply cannot describe how large a plane is, and I couldn't be more pleased. "How is the plane?" "It's, um. It's large." "It's a jumbo jet, but jumbo-er." "It's... megajumbo?" "Hyperjumbo?" "Superjumbo!" The only place to go from here is Uberjumbo. Which is totally what I would call my elephant. If I was German. And had an elephant. Sadly, I cannot imagine a world where this scenario could become a reality.
  
  
• I have devised a new way of putting people into easily-classified personality boxes: by asking them what element they would be. Not the old Captain Planet earth/wind/fire/water/heart (ha ha, heart) elements, but the good old periodic table. I'm sure you've heard of it. What would you be? Answer in the comments, please. I think I would be Zinc or Magnesium. They seem... peppy.
  
  
• Do you know what I want to become fantastically wealthy by inventing today? Daytime fireworks, in shades of black and navy and purple. I have no idea if this is even possible but my God, it should be. Imagine a world where you can look up from your breakfast and see noir fireworks exploding over the Eiffel Tower. (Did I mention we were in Paris?) Man, words cannot describe how much I want to live in that world. Someone please invent these.

Must dash now as have to get up early for work sausage sizzle (gentlemen, hold your puns) - there is a fireworks show here tomorrow night and we are sizzling at it. Sizzling with hotness! Especially me, and Cute Reporter.

Sorry. I got distracted for a moment there. But my point is that I need to go to bed because somehow in the organisational process I became over-involved and turned into Sizzle Hitler, and now I have to get up early and retrieve sausages from Woolston. Wish me luck and if you are in Christchurch, come down to the New Brighton fireworks tomorrow and buy a sausage!