Events*

*Not exciting ones, just standard ones. Page three news at best. Human interest stories.

In the quest to be a stunning bronzed goddess I bought a thing called "Airbrush Legs" (why did I think this was a good idea?) and now my legs are bronzed but also extremely sparkly. I look like a Hawaiian Twilight vampire from the knees down. Except, of course, for my feet, which are still a delightful shade of orange from previous fake tanning attempt. I am a mess.

Had end-of-year work do last night - I drunk a bit much and talked about myself loudly and at length, but luckily so did everyone else. I think? Hopefully. Otherwise we will all sail into the new year with memories of my fantastic wit and intelligence and complete inability to be quiet for five minutes or talk about something not beginning with "Once I..." and the company is sure to benefit.

At least I didn't make out with anyone in the stationery cupboard. We don't have a stationery cupboard, unless I have used the wrong kind of statione/ary and I am talking about the kind of cupboard which stands still. We have plenty of those. But I didn't make out with anyone in the freight elevator either, which is apparently the place to do it.

It's still too hot and all I want to do is stay out of the sun and drink cider. Am forcing myself to drink water because of Hydration, but am going to a BBQ in a bit (preparation for this saw me getting over-excited and applying half a can of hairspray. Feel like I am wearing a gorse bush on my head) and have some nice ciders lined up. Is proving REALLY challenging not to hoe into the cider already, but am unsure of the implications of turning up to a party toting half a six-pack. Screams 'alcoholic' and 'no willpower' and 'potentially a slapper' and while all of these things are to some extent true, it's not always good to advertise them.

In other news, it appears many commenters on lyrics post are angry that Eminem was included, and to them I say: fuck off, it's not your list. (I'm only saying that here because 3 doesn't let me say fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Sorry.)

I think that is all for today - the heat has gone to my brain - might start in on the cider!