I have been going to the gym! And doing exercise things while I'm there. ("I went to the gym." "How was it?" "Looked nice.") It's a work gym so there is hardly ever anyone there, which means I can listen to the radio and chug away on the cross-trainer for 20 minutes. The main benefit is not that I am quickly becoming a lean, sexy exercise machine (although obviously this is also the case) but that I don't have to think about work at all for a whole 20 minutes of the day. Instead I think about things like "I wonder if Katy Perry gets embarrassed about the songs she has to sing" and "how is she roaring louder than a lion, while also being a tiger, while also being a champion, while also having the eye of the tiger?" and "my legs are sore" and "woah, maybe I should invest in a sports bra".
To give you a more precise and scientific idea of my exercise excellence, yesterday my average speed during the 20 minutes was 11.5 km/h. Which as it turns out is slightly slower than the top land speed of a chicken*, which is somewhat less impressive than I thought it would be. Anyway, WATCH YOUR BACK, USAIN.
chicken not pictured
I would love to tell you exotic stories of travelling the world and visiting ancient monuments and appearing on talk shows but actually most of the stuff I have been doing is just work. I'm now doing some more interesting and/or important things at work, which is both interesting and terrifying as the "you are a competent, highly skilled professional" section of my brain goes up against the "you are a small child in a business outfit with no idea what you are doing, and everyone is going to find out" section on a daily basis.
Here is a typical example:
Inner Me: "HEY EVERYONE I had an idea for a cool business thing that we could do!" or sometimes, "This is ridiculous. Why are we doing this thing this dumb way? I WILL CHANGE IT FOR THE BETTER, I GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER, KATY PERRY RAH RAH RAH."
Outer Me: "Do you have a second to catch up about the current way we X our Y? I think, strategically, we could get more impact from our Y if we change the way we X."
Boss: "What's the business case?"
Inner Me: "It's a tiny suitcase I keep all of my important business things in! Hahaha! Haha. Ha."
Outer Me: "Blah blah, maximise resource, blah blah."
Boss: "OK great, can you look after that?"
Inner Me: "OH FUCK NOW I HAVE TO LOOK AFTER THAT THING. HOW DID I NOT THINK THIS THROUGH."
Outer Me: "Confident professional noises, work-based comments."
And then I do the thing and sometimes it goes well and sometimes it does not, and that's pretty much work at the moment.
More blog soon. Promise.
*but somewhat faster than the average speed of the average spider, so I guess I feel a little bit better now.