Have finally started NaNo Novel! Which is exciting. Although at the moment it is not a Work of Genius. I am starting it with this (rather optimistic) quote:
'Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man.' - Jack Handey
NaNo novel has 'zausted me! I am going to go to bed now. Have decided, though, that in addition to NaNo I'm going to try and spend an hour a day editing existing novel - partially because it needs to be done, and if I'm already doing Hardcore Writing Month (or, as I like to call it, HaWriMo, which sounds a bit like Harry Mo, which makes me think of Daniel Radcliffe with a mustache, which would look strange (I am never sure how to spell moustache)) I might as well add another level to it and make the most of Being In Writing Mode, and partially because it'll be nice to have something to work on besides main novel which, although I can see it being very enjoyable and pretty much writing itself, is draining.
Today's Excerpt (this will also be a November feature - no clues as to what the plot's about, just the occasional random sentence.)
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Oh no, wait, that's not my novel. (I am so funny.)
This is the opening sentence of my rather more humble novel -
‘If anyone’s expecting a ukulele, it’s at Reception.’
Showing posts with label NaNo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NaNo. Show all posts
Monday, November 03, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Return of the ENORMOUS BANANA
Yes! I saw the ENORMOUS BANANAS again today, in a different fruit & vege shop! They must be catching on. Shortly after the EB sighting I overtook (in the walking sense) a woman who was carrying a plastic shopping bag with nothing in it except an EB. I almost said something to her (would've been along the lines of "Oh, you got one of those huge bananas! I was going to get one, too"), but luckily I realised that only mad people comment on the fruit purchases of a complete stranger. Still. Was nice to see my favourite fruit again. Next time I will take a photo.
Other exciting newses -
1) this wasn't originally going to be on the list, but Blogger spell-check recognises 'newses' as a word, which I was pretty sure it wasn't.
2) I made scones this evening! To be more accurate, I made a scone. Was intending to make a batch of perfectly formed sconelets (also apparently a word - come on, spell-check, you cannot be serious), but the batter was all sticky and gluey and just getting it onto the baking tray was hard enough, let alone cutting it into squares and then moving them 2cm apart. So I made one large scone, and cut it into many smaller scones. Turns out this doesn't make any difference to the delicious taste. Although having said that, I have never made scones before - so maybe it does. Hmm. Will use more flour next time and see. Will also use more baking powder as scones not as tall as I would've liked.
3) Have new plot for novel! Surprise, surprise. Will not unveil plot in dramatic, Extreme Makeover fashion as there will probably be a new plot tomorrow.
4) Yoghurt is good for your skin! (The Internet told me.) Am not sure if this is a widely held theory, though, because Sister Flatmate came home to find me watching Survivor with yoghurt all over my face and thought I was a nutcase. Skin now very soft though. Hair is also soft, because felt like hair was not doing skin justice and so put leave-in conditioner through it. I am all soft! Just for reference purposes, it's only plain yoghurt that's good for your skin, not flavoured yoghurt with little bits of strawberry in it. Although if that was the only yoghurt in the house it would be better than nothing? Probably.
5) There was a power cut tonight! Right in the middle of CSI: Miami. I was home by myself and the lights went out, and I thought 'oh shit I knew we should have paid that power bill before now,' but when I wandered outside the lights had gone out all up the street, and everyone was standing outside their houses cursing and offering each other candles and saying things like "I knew I shouldn't have tried to cook so many things in the oven at once" and gloating because somehow their telly was still working. Was exciting! Lit candles and read magazines by candle-light and thought, 'I could survive in a civil defence emergency!' (Not sure if this is actually the case, but I can definitely survive a two-hour power cut just fine.)
No more newses, I don't think, except that I was really productive at work today! Probably the biggest news of all. It was almost un-natural. This unholy efficiency may or may not continue tomorrow - I stayed late (I know - I said it was unnatural (does un-natural have a hyphen? both ways look wrong. both ways look unnatural)) to redo my entire filing system, halve my workload for tomorrow, and schedule my day properly. Whether or not I will stick to the schedule remains to be seen, but if I do it will make me an efficiency wizard.
And now, an impromptu summing-up of my day, in poetic form!
I got up this morning and I made myself some porridge -
Poor start. Nothing rhymes with porridge.
I got up this morning, made some porridge, went to work
Fortified myself with coffee, then plunged into the murk
of documents and emails in which, a corporate pig, I wallow
(after checking first my Facebook and the daily blogs I follow).
Made phone call after phone call with no visible result
Amended several fuck-ups all of which were not my fault
Put through some sales, redid my files and made a cup of tea
and then at 5 to 5 I took my customary wee.
Stayed working late to get things done and missed the evening news
Trundled home, self-satisfied that I'd worn comfy shoes
Saw the Huge Banana as I walked to my abode
and yet again I failed to find a fifty in the road.
I reached my house! I went inside! I made the Giant Scone!
The lights went off on our whole street! And then they went back on!
To celebrate the power cut I opened up a beer
And then I thought, 'I'll do my blog,' and this is it right here.
OK bedtime.
Other exciting newses -
1) this wasn't originally going to be on the list, but Blogger spell-check recognises 'newses' as a word, which I was pretty sure it wasn't.
2) I made scones this evening! To be more accurate, I made a scone. Was intending to make a batch of perfectly formed sconelets (also apparently a word - come on, spell-check, you cannot be serious), but the batter was all sticky and gluey and just getting it onto the baking tray was hard enough, let alone cutting it into squares and then moving them 2cm apart. So I made one large scone, and cut it into many smaller scones. Turns out this doesn't make any difference to the delicious taste. Although having said that, I have never made scones before - so maybe it does. Hmm. Will use more flour next time and see. Will also use more baking powder as scones not as tall as I would've liked.
3) Have new plot for novel! Surprise, surprise. Will not unveil plot in dramatic, Extreme Makeover fashion as there will probably be a new plot tomorrow.
4) Yoghurt is good for your skin! (The Internet told me.) Am not sure if this is a widely held theory, though, because Sister Flatmate came home to find me watching Survivor with yoghurt all over my face and thought I was a nutcase. Skin now very soft though. Hair is also soft, because felt like hair was not doing skin justice and so put leave-in conditioner through it. I am all soft! Just for reference purposes, it's only plain yoghurt that's good for your skin, not flavoured yoghurt with little bits of strawberry in it. Although if that was the only yoghurt in the house it would be better than nothing? Probably.
5) There was a power cut tonight! Right in the middle of CSI: Miami. I was home by myself and the lights went out, and I thought 'oh shit I knew we should have paid that power bill before now,' but when I wandered outside the lights had gone out all up the street, and everyone was standing outside their houses cursing and offering each other candles and saying things like "I knew I shouldn't have tried to cook so many things in the oven at once" and gloating because somehow their telly was still working. Was exciting! Lit candles and read magazines by candle-light and thought, 'I could survive in a civil defence emergency!' (Not sure if this is actually the case, but I can definitely survive a two-hour power cut just fine.)
No more newses, I don't think, except that I was really productive at work today! Probably the biggest news of all. It was almost un-natural. This unholy efficiency may or may not continue tomorrow - I stayed late (I know - I said it was unnatural (does un-natural have a hyphen? both ways look wrong. both ways look unnatural)) to redo my entire filing system, halve my workload for tomorrow, and schedule my day properly. Whether or not I will stick to the schedule remains to be seen, but if I do it will make me an efficiency wizard.
And now, an impromptu summing-up of my day, in poetic form!
I got up this morning and I made myself some porridge -
Poor start. Nothing rhymes with porridge.
I got up this morning, made some porridge, went to work
Fortified myself with coffee, then plunged into the murk
of documents and emails in which, a corporate pig, I wallow
(after checking first my Facebook and the daily blogs I follow).
Made phone call after phone call with no visible result
Amended several fuck-ups all of which were not my fault
Put through some sales, redid my files and made a cup of tea
and then at 5 to 5 I took my customary wee.
Stayed working late to get things done and missed the evening news
Trundled home, self-satisfied that I'd worn comfy shoes
Saw the Huge Banana as I walked to my abode
and yet again I failed to find a fifty in the road.
I reached my house! I went inside! I made the Giant Scone!
The lights went off on our whole street! And then they went back on!
To celebrate the power cut I opened up a beer
And then I thought, 'I'll do my blog,' and this is it right here.
OK bedtime.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Plot, take three
What if you had a vampire, a genie, a fire demon, an angel and a snake-person flatting together?
Just sayin'.
Just sayin'.
Once More, With Pirates
One of the forums on the National Novel Writing Month site is dedicated to writers daring other writers to insert things in their novels. One of my favourites is "Once again, with pirates" - in which you write a chapter exactly the same as the one before it, except with pirates.
Latest crazy novel idea:
Bounty hunter must regain pair of solid gold pants before they are possessed by the god of the merzombie snake people. Jungle adventure to follow, ending in climactic temple scene and possible merzombie invasion.
Still crappy (I cannot seem to shake the merzombies, for one) but much more doable. Also have all the characters sorted out. Am feeling kind of sorry for making them go on silly pants quest but oh well! They pop up in my mind, what do they expect? If they wanted to be taken seriously they should've popped up in the mind of Stephen King.
Had a long narrative dream last night which would make a great novel - is serious, heart-rending and poignant stuff. (Have written it down for future reference.) Problem? I can't write seriously. I can't do it! Is impossible. I know I've complained about this before, but it's frustratingly difficult to write about serious subjects when your characters keep making puns.
Plan now is to develop new, serious plot fully and then sell it on the international writers' black market (what with the amount of people who complain about writer's block, it must exist). Am frustrated because Serious Plot is a lot better than Pants Quest, but Pants Quest a lot easier to write as characters can arse about and generally be literary liabilities. Pants Quest is a great title, though. Sounds like name of old-school computer game with monophonic them song. "Deedle deedle dee...Pants Quest."
You are standing outside a building. The sea is to your left. To the right is a road.
enter building
You enter the building. A key is lying on the table.
get key
You pick up the key and put it in your pocket.
look
It is a small room. There is nothing of interest here.
exit building
You are standing outside a building. The sea is to your left. To the right is a road.
right
You have reached a town. You are on the main street. There is a small grocery store ahead of you, and a road leading to the right.
enter store
The store is locked.
use key
Latest crazy novel idea:
Bounty hunter must regain pair of solid gold pants before they are possessed by the god of the merzombie snake people. Jungle adventure to follow, ending in climactic temple scene and possible merzombie invasion.
Still crappy (I cannot seem to shake the merzombies, for one) but much more doable. Also have all the characters sorted out. Am feeling kind of sorry for making them go on silly pants quest but oh well! They pop up in my mind, what do they expect? If they wanted to be taken seriously they should've popped up in the mind of Stephen King.
Had a long narrative dream last night which would make a great novel - is serious, heart-rending and poignant stuff. (Have written it down for future reference.) Problem? I can't write seriously. I can't do it! Is impossible. I know I've complained about this before, but it's frustratingly difficult to write about serious subjects when your characters keep making puns.
Plan now is to develop new, serious plot fully and then sell it on the international writers' black market (what with the amount of people who complain about writer's block, it must exist). Am frustrated because Serious Plot is a lot better than Pants Quest, but Pants Quest a lot easier to write as characters can arse about and generally be literary liabilities. Pants Quest is a great title, though. Sounds like name of old-school computer game with monophonic them song. "Deedle deedle dee...Pants Quest."
You are standing outside a building. The sea is to your left. To the right is a road.
enter building
get key
look
exit building
right
enter store
use key
Monday, October 20, 2008
MERZOMBIES
Fancy that! A day has passed, and yet I have not lost the ability to post pictures to my blog. Prepare yourselves for a lot of (mostly unrelated) photos. Andrea suggests I start taking outfit photos - this is a good idea except a) I don't have a digital camera and b) I'm not at all photogenic and c) I'm usually dressed in boring work clothes and d) I'm vain enough that it would take me an extra half hour in the morning, especially when you take b) into account.
So, news of the day: Ghost Whisperer sucks. Or, as we refer to it here, Ghost Breasterer. Because Jennifer Love Hewitt's cleavage has, at the least, a minor character part. It should be in the title credits. "Jennifer Love Hewitt's Cleavage playing Itself." Cleavage is also a better actress (actor? actperson?) than JLH herself. Anyway! That wasn't actually the news of the day, but while I'm rambling about sexually related body parts I would just like to say that, contrary to Andrea's new theory, my obsession with the ENORMOUS BANANA is a) over and b) not Freudian in the least.
The actual news of the day is that I have a plot for NaNoWriMo! By which I mean I have a sort of plot. I have an idea. Basically, it goes like this. Prepare yourselves.
What if we accidentally found the lost underwater civilization of Atlantis? What if they turned out to be real douchebags? What if they started a war with us?
What if it was told from about six different points of view?
My NaNoWriMo is about a war between humanity and shapeshifting Atlantean necromancers.
Don't act like you're not impressed.
Brace yourself, literary world. Brace yourself for MERZOMBIES.
I'm not 100% sure about the merzombies. But it's just such a stunning word.
I promise heavy artillery and sadistic lieutenants and misguided bounty hunters and volcanic eruptions and underwater zoos and probably cross-civilization romance. Who's excited? I'm excited! Who's insane? I'm insane! Who has to learn about Atlantis and military organisation and strategy and salvage and weaponry! I have to...you get the point.
I know it doesn't necessarily sound like that great of an idea (by which I mean I know it sounds alike possibly the worst idea for a novel, ever) but I was just sitting there at work today and one of my colleagues said something and the idea fell into my head, and I thought 'Yes! That's what I'm going to do for NaNo! War Against Atlantis!' And then characters and motives and scenes started popping in my head like kernels of popcorn exploding in a pan. In my brain-pan. Kernels of thought in my brain-pan! Plot kernels, character kernels, setting kernels, military kernels! Ha ha ha. Did I mention I am very tired?
I think I am a nutter. But then you knew that already, it's a large part of my charm.
Crap Analogy of the Day:
Backstory: At work at the moment my team is only 3 people (since the departure of VB). It's really meant to be a 5-person team, but we were fine as a 4-person because VB and I did, between us, 60/70% of the work. So now he is gone, and I am left with the Gung-Ho Kid, and the well-intentioned but ultimately tits-on-a-bull Newbie. Ready for the analogy?
Analogy:Being in my Team is like being in a Dinghy.
Before, VB and I had one oar each and were keeping the dinghy upright and on course - not an easy task, but a manageable one. It didn't really matter if the Newbie and the Gung-Ho Kid sat at the back of the boat and looked at the scenery and talked about what was in their sandwiches.
But now that there is no VB, the dinghy is hideously off-balance because I'm the only one a) rowing and b) with any knowledge of how to row. I spend most of my day shouting desperately to Newbie and the Gung-Ho Kid, "Stop standing up in the dinghy! Sit down and row! Stop running around! Bail out, bail out! Can't you see we're going to sink if you don't sit down and help me out here?!"
Meanwhile, the Gung-Ho Kid and Newbie are shouting, "Ally! Ally! Come and look! I think I can see a dolphin!"
SIGH. Anyone hiring?
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Another day, another detox
"I am starting another detox," I shouted to Sally, in the bathroom brushing her teeth. "You just started another beer!" "I am starting it tomorrow morning. Start of a new week. New week, new detox! Not every week though."
Pause.
From the bathroom - "It's hard to brush your tongue."
So! New detox. Woke up yesterday to sound of neighbours mowing lawn and shouting at their children, and thought, 'Who has told them about my hangover?' Stupid neighbours.
I have lost my cellphone - this is far less distressing than I had imagined it would be! Actually it's quite nice to not be contactable 24 hours of the day. I guess in this day and age it's kind of irresponsible not to have one - for emergencies and so on - but still, it's quite tempting to remain cellphoneless and therefore somewhat off the radar. (I just like that phrase.)
I am totally stuck for ideas for NaNoWriMo! Like a car that has careened off the road and into a muddy paddock of clay whilst being driven by a learner driver whose father told them to turn FAR too late (this may or may not be based on a true story), I am well and truly stuck. However, I have faith that, like the car, I will - after a bit of futile wheel-spinning - come unstuck. Albeit with a lot of effort and cursing.
Has anything else interesting happened? Today I modelled (modeled? wore) some vintage clothing for my sister to list on Facebook - I'll see if my blogging skills are up to adding a picture. They probably aren't...I shall save a draft just in case, because I would hate for any of the previous stunning paragraphs to vanish into the inter-ether.
Ooh, look, I can do it! There I am. I love that dress, actually - you can't see the fabric very well there (poor photo) but it's stunning. I might put another one on. I really must buy a digital camera, I'd like to be able to put more photos of ME on the INTERNET. That's right, ME ON THE INTERNET!
How vain. I just want something interesting to come up when I Google myself.
So! Now that I have learned that new skill (do I gain a level? experience points? can I add a class? or do I just feel slightly ashamed of my startlingly geeky inner self) I shall go back to my usual rambling on about nothing (no large fruit today - sorry.)
(See, if I had a digital camera, I could've taken a photo of that enormous banana, so that you too could marvel at its hugeness. Just saying.)
As previously mentioned, I am having a dither about NaNoWriMo. I would like to write an adventure story - from the city to the jungle, from the jungle to the sea, from the pirate encounter to the mountain cave chase to the sacrificial altar to the last-minute escape and home again in time for supper - but I've never written anything even vaguely near that genre before and so it's a daunting thought. I normally write tongue-in-cheek, pun-filled well, bollocks. (Not that I'm saying this won't be bollocks. Have no fear, it will be!) I don't know how to write about the jungle! I don't know how to write a fight scene, or speed along an adventure plot! I don't even know why they'd be on an adventure anyway. I'm not sure I want to do another Quest - I think perhaps some sort of war/evading death scenario would be interesting but, as I said, I have no experience at all. Eek! Helpeth! I shall think of something on the way to work tomorrow.
Ooh, there is movie on! Cillian Murphy appears to be in Mexico. There is nothing I don't like about this! Adios, amigos! (and amigas.) If you need me, I will be in Mexico. Worrying about my novel and partaking in the medicinal application of tequila and peyote.
EDIT: Oh my God, I have eaten so much bread in the last three days. I have become obsessed with soup & bread. I average six slices of bread to a cup of soup, which is excessive, if not downright revolting! I am having bread guilt. And also eating yet another delicious piece of pea & ham-drenched toast! I am going to become huge. Like the banana. Oh my God! I have got to stop talking about that banana.
Pause.
From the bathroom - "It's hard to brush your tongue."
So! New detox. Woke up yesterday to sound of neighbours mowing lawn and shouting at their children, and thought, 'Who has told them about my hangover?' Stupid neighbours.
I have lost my cellphone - this is far less distressing than I had imagined it would be! Actually it's quite nice to not be contactable 24 hours of the day. I guess in this day and age it's kind of irresponsible not to have one - for emergencies and so on - but still, it's quite tempting to remain cellphoneless and therefore somewhat off the radar. (I just like that phrase.)
I am totally stuck for ideas for NaNoWriMo! Like a car that has careened off the road and into a muddy paddock of clay whilst being driven by a learner driver whose father told them to turn FAR too late (this may or may not be based on a true story), I am well and truly stuck. However, I have faith that, like the car, I will - after a bit of futile wheel-spinning - come unstuck. Albeit with a lot of effort and cursing.
Has anything else interesting happened? Today I modelled (modeled? wore) some vintage clothing for my sister to list on Facebook - I'll see if my blogging skills are up to adding a picture. They probably aren't...I shall save a draft just in case, because I would hate for any of the previous stunning paragraphs to vanish into the inter-ether.
Ooh, look, I can do it! There I am. I love that dress, actually - you can't see the fabric very well there (poor photo) but it's stunning. I might put another one on. I really must buy a digital camera, I'd like to be able to put more photos of ME on the INTERNET. That's right, ME ON THE INTERNET!
How vain. I just want something interesting to come up when I Google myself.
So! Now that I have learned that new skill (do I gain a level? experience points? can I add a class? or do I just feel slightly ashamed of my startlingly geeky inner self) I shall go back to my usual rambling on about nothing (no large fruit today - sorry.)
(See, if I had a digital camera, I could've taken a photo of that enormous banana, so that you too could marvel at its hugeness. Just saying.)
As previously mentioned, I am having a dither about NaNoWriMo. I would like to write an adventure story - from the city to the jungle, from the jungle to the sea, from the pirate encounter to the mountain cave chase to the sacrificial altar to the last-minute escape and home again in time for supper - but I've never written anything even vaguely near that genre before and so it's a daunting thought. I normally write tongue-in-cheek, pun-filled well, bollocks. (Not that I'm saying this won't be bollocks. Have no fear, it will be!) I don't know how to write about the jungle! I don't know how to write a fight scene, or speed along an adventure plot! I don't even know why they'd be on an adventure anyway. I'm not sure I want to do another Quest - I think perhaps some sort of war/evading death scenario would be interesting but, as I said, I have no experience at all. Eek! Helpeth! I shall think of something on the way to work tomorrow.
Ooh, there is movie on! Cillian Murphy appears to be in Mexico. There is nothing I don't like about this! Adios, amigos! (and amigas.) If you need me, I will be in Mexico. Worrying about my novel and partaking in the medicinal application of tequila and peyote.
EDIT: Oh my God, I have eaten so much bread in the last three days. I have become obsessed with soup & bread. I average six slices of bread to a cup of soup, which is excessive, if not downright revolting! I am having bread guilt. And also eating yet another delicious piece of pea & ham-drenched toast! I am going to become huge. Like the banana. Oh my God! I have got to stop talking about that banana.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The Semi-Sobriety Project Revisited
Like Brideshead Revisited, but less exciting.
Well! After a week it is safe to say that the Semi-Sobriety Project is (was) an abject failure. It is also safe to say that I have a spot (not relevant, I just noticed that) and an utterly shameful lack of self-control.
Next week I shall restart the SSP in earnest - obviously this week was trial run and therefore doesn't really count. At all.
And now, for Things At Which One Gets No Trial Run -
NaNoWriMo!
I have ceased to dither (I like that phrase) about whether I'm going to do National Novel Writing Month this year. I have decided - blogroll, please - that I AM. Two reasons pushed me over the edge -
1. Bestfriend, who is doing NaNoWriMo herself, said "You have to do it! I will peer pressure you!" I am a sucker for peer pressure (suspect this has a lot to do with the failure of the SSP (Round 1)).
2. Had Idea whilst browsing the Nano forums - will write Adventure novel! Was having a lot of difficulty choosing a genre, but have now settled on that. I think. Perhaps spy thriller, set in the Cambodian jungle, with snakes? (Idea of Bestfriend, who is probably writing something totally grown-up.) I also like the idea of doing something Indiana Jones-esque. It'll give me room to play with cliche a bit, and also to keep it in a light vein rather than having to go all serious and self-examining (I think that was in the wrong tense, but never mind), which I think I would tend to do if I went for Literary Fiction. Sister Flatmate suggested I write 'something semi-autobiographical.' Horrific thought. Not so much because everyone would read the autobiographical bits, but more because everyone would read the semi- bits and think that these were also autobiographical, and say things like, "Did you really pick up some 23-year-old bloke from Plimmerton, who lives with his mum and is excited about starting work at Hallensteins, at Burger King at three in the morning when you were really pissed?" And you say, "No! That is the semi part, not the autobiographical part." But they never believe you.
Story of the day:
This morning, I was going to walk up a (small) mountain with three friends and drink champagne, and watch the sun rise. How lovely, I hear you think! Well. Do you know what time the sun rises? Do you? Neither did I. Turns out that it's about half past five in the morning or something. BEFORE you factor in half an hour to walk up the mountain (I did say it was small), and 20 minutes to walk from your friend's house to the bottom of the mountain, and 20 minutes to walk from your house to theirs, and 5 minutes in the shower, and...
To cut a long story short, I did not get up and see the sunrise.
There will be many, many more, and I will see some of those. Unless there is a NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST this evening (OK let's be honest it may be several months before I see another sunrise, so unless there is a NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST sometime in early March), in which case we will all have far more important things to worry about than watching sunrises. I hear those atomic sunrises are far prettier than our regular ones anyway.
It must be time for another cup of tea.
Well! After a week it is safe to say that the Semi-Sobriety Project is (was) an abject failure. It is also safe to say that I have a spot (not relevant, I just noticed that) and an utterly shameful lack of self-control.
Next week I shall restart the SSP in earnest - obviously this week was trial run and therefore doesn't really count. At all.
And now, for Things At Which One Gets No Trial Run -
NaNoWriMo!
I have ceased to dither (I like that phrase) about whether I'm going to do National Novel Writing Month this year. I have decided - blogroll, please - that I AM. Two reasons pushed me over the edge -
1. Bestfriend, who is doing NaNoWriMo herself, said "You have to do it! I will peer pressure you!" I am a sucker for peer pressure (suspect this has a lot to do with the failure of the SSP (Round 1)).
2. Had Idea whilst browsing the Nano forums - will write Adventure novel! Was having a lot of difficulty choosing a genre, but have now settled on that. I think. Perhaps spy thriller, set in the Cambodian jungle, with snakes? (Idea of Bestfriend, who is probably writing something totally grown-up.) I also like the idea of doing something Indiana Jones-esque. It'll give me room to play with cliche a bit, and also to keep it in a light vein rather than having to go all serious and self-examining (I think that was in the wrong tense, but never mind), which I think I would tend to do if I went for Literary Fiction. Sister Flatmate suggested I write 'something semi-autobiographical.' Horrific thought. Not so much because everyone would read the autobiographical bits, but more because everyone would read the semi- bits and think that these were also autobiographical, and say things like, "Did you really pick up some 23-year-old bloke from Plimmerton, who lives with his mum and is excited about starting work at Hallensteins, at Burger King at three in the morning when you were really pissed?" And you say, "No! That is the semi part, not the autobiographical part." But they never believe you.
Story of the day:
This morning, I was going to walk up a (small) mountain with three friends and drink champagne, and watch the sun rise. How lovely, I hear you think! Well. Do you know what time the sun rises? Do you? Neither did I. Turns out that it's about half past five in the morning or something. BEFORE you factor in half an hour to walk up the mountain (I did say it was small), and 20 minutes to walk from your friend's house to the bottom of the mountain, and 20 minutes to walk from your house to theirs, and 5 minutes in the shower, and...
To cut a long story short, I did not get up and see the sunrise.
There will be many, many more, and I will see some of those. Unless there is a NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST this evening (OK let's be honest it may be several months before I see another sunrise, so unless there is a NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST sometime in early March), in which case we will all have far more important things to worry about than watching sunrises. I hear those atomic sunrises are far prettier than our regular ones anyway.
It must be time for another cup of tea.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Items of Note*
*Perhaps
Brace yourselves, people. This is going to be a long post, because I have so many things to talk about. Fascinating things! Such fascinating things, in fact, that they will have be in list format for fear of overwhelming me (and you) with their sheer powers of fascination. (I'm sorry if this post is very boring - I feel slightly like an awards show presenter giving a rather A-List introduction to a star who is definitely lower B-List at best.)
Oh well, you should be used to it.
1. NaNoWriYeahNah
I'm thinking that I might do NaNoWriMo again this year. This is a slightly mental idea because for the first two weeks of November I'll be working and the show will be on, then for the last two weeks I was planning to quit my job and go on holiday. (Although staff party is at the end of November, and it would be nice to go out with a bang (not literally (ok, fine, literally.)))
Main reason am dithering over NaNoWriMo is that I can't think of anything to write about. I briefly thought about doing some Serious Literary Fiction (oo-er), but this nice idea was somewhat spoilt by my complete inability to take myself seriously.
I'm currently struggling with the climax and/or ending of existing novel (which is mid-edit) because it has to be semi-serious...last time something serious was meant to be happening, my main character became distracted and went into a long and completely unrelated digression about eggs. Why did he do that? I don't know. I keep trying to take out the eggs, and yet the eggs come back. Even if I manage to get rid of Inappropriate Egg Digression, character unintentionally uses a word in the wrong context, creating very witty dick joke.
Obviously there is no way something totally serious would keep me entertained for a month.
So I figure I am going to have to write something semi-serious. It can be like one of those two-layer chocolates. But not really. Chocolates are not always the best metaphor. Suggestions welcome (for novel or better metaphor, I don't mind).
2. My Lack of Internet Celebrity
I wonder how people get to be internet celebrities? Probably they just have more interesting blogs than me - by which I mean they have a more interesting blog than I do. (Although multiple interesting blogs would probably also help.) (God I am so tired.) But no, that can't be right, because some famous-on-the-internet blogs are simply terrible.
Sigh - I am not a meme. ("I wanna be a meeeeme! When I grow up, I wanna be an Internet meeeme!")
I can't be a meme, I don't even have a blogroll! I do not like the term blogroll. I think from now on I'll write 'blogroll,' not blogroll, in much the same way as I am insisting on calling 6am 'new 6am' and making little quotation marks with my fingers in that irritating way that people do. (Daylight savings was yesterday. 5am is the new 6am, and I am very bitter about this.)
3. My Cough And Ribs (a complaint, feel free to skip)
My ribs are still sore, and I am still coughing a lot. In addition to the cough, I have developed a wheeze! I was going to treat you to a little poem about the wheeze and the sneeze and some other things of that (phonetic) nature, but then I realised that a) I would be ripping off A.A. Milne and b) I would be ripping off Joe Bennett and c) none of you unartistic bastards would appreciate it anyway.
4. Learning About Serious Phrases
I have been learning about Serious Phrases. It turns out that there are Serious Phrases To Take Seriously ("we have to pay the power bill," "I love you (sober usage)"), Serious Phrases You Can Ignore ("you need to buy toilet paper," "I love you (non-sober usage)") and Serious Phrases you Should Have Taken Seriously, but Didn't ("do not drink whilst taking this medication.")
Found a Word file today (hilariously titled 'do not drink whilst yeah whatever') which appears to consist completely of random, disjointed thoughts. Many of which trail off in the middle, or change subject entirely -
5. Now I have nothing to put here.
I just thought I was being kinda clever, there. And now I feel like I should not start sentences with 'and,' but also that I should have something witty and sophisticated to write here instead of just random sentences to make this paragraph look like something with an actual point to it and not just something to fill up space, which it is. I am sorry that this is not a pithy observation of society. Right now I am very tired and not very pithy at all.
Obviously.
Brace yourselves, people. This is going to be a long post, because I have so many things to talk about. Fascinating things! Such fascinating things, in fact, that they will have be in list format for fear of overwhelming me (and you) with their sheer powers of fascination. (I'm sorry if this post is very boring - I feel slightly like an awards show presenter giving a rather A-List introduction to a star who is definitely lower B-List at best.)
Oh well, you should be used to it.
1. NaNoWriYeahNah
I'm thinking that I might do NaNoWriMo again this year. This is a slightly mental idea because for the first two weeks of November I'll be working and the show will be on, then for the last two weeks I was planning to quit my job and go on holiday. (Although staff party is at the end of November, and it would be nice to go out with a bang (not literally (ok, fine, literally.)))
Main reason am dithering over NaNoWriMo is that I can't think of anything to write about. I briefly thought about doing some Serious Literary Fiction (oo-er), but this nice idea was somewhat spoilt by my complete inability to take myself seriously.
I'm currently struggling with the climax and/or ending of existing novel (which is mid-edit) because it has to be semi-serious...last time something serious was meant to be happening, my main character became distracted and went into a long and completely unrelated digression about eggs. Why did he do that? I don't know. I keep trying to take out the eggs, and yet the eggs come back. Even if I manage to get rid of Inappropriate Egg Digression, character unintentionally uses a word in the wrong context, creating very witty dick joke.
Obviously there is no way something totally serious would keep me entertained for a month.
So I figure I am going to have to write something semi-serious. It can be like one of those two-layer chocolates. But not really. Chocolates are not always the best metaphor. Suggestions welcome (for novel or better metaphor, I don't mind).
2. My Lack of Internet Celebrity
I wonder how people get to be internet celebrities? Probably they just have more interesting blogs than me - by which I mean they have a more interesting blog than I do. (Although multiple interesting blogs would probably also help.) (God I am so tired.) But no, that can't be right, because some famous-on-the-internet blogs are simply terrible.
Sigh - I am not a meme. ("I wanna be a meeeeme! When I grow up, I wanna be an Internet meeeme!")
I can't be a meme, I don't even have a blogroll! I do not like the term blogroll. I think from now on I'll write 'blogroll,' not blogroll, in much the same way as I am insisting on calling 6am 'new 6am' and making little quotation marks with my fingers in that irritating way that people do. (Daylight savings was yesterday. 5am is the new 6am, and I am very bitter about this.)
3. My Cough And Ribs (a complaint, feel free to skip)
My ribs are still sore, and I am still coughing a lot. In addition to the cough, I have developed a wheeze! I was going to treat you to a little poem about the wheeze and the sneeze and some other things of that (phonetic) nature, but then I realised that a) I would be ripping off A.A. Milne and b) I would be ripping off Joe Bennett and c) none of you unartistic bastards would appreciate it anyway.
4. Learning About Serious Phrases
I have been learning about Serious Phrases. It turns out that there are Serious Phrases To Take Seriously ("we have to pay the power bill," "I love you (sober usage)"), Serious Phrases You Can Ignore ("you need to buy toilet paper," "I love you (non-sober usage)") and Serious Phrases you Should Have Taken Seriously, but Didn't ("do not drink whilst taking this medication.")
Found a Word file today (hilariously titled 'do not drink whilst yeah whatever') which appears to consist completely of random, disjointed thoughts. Many of which trail off in the middle, or change subject entirely -
5. Now I have nothing to put here.
I just thought I was being kinda clever, there. And now I feel like I should not start sentences with 'and,' but also that I should have something witty and sophisticated to write here instead of just random sentences to make this paragraph look like something with an actual point to it and not just something to fill up space, which it is. I am sorry that this is not a pithy observation of society. Right now I am very tired and not very pithy at all.
Obviously.
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