I have had a hideous day. HIDEOUS NASTY CRANKY.
Item One: Went out for game of pool with Tim (Dad's girlfriend's nephew, socks sandals etc.) last night. Had a good time (we have the same favourite beer and this was Highly Exciting...obviously it's a match made in heaven, or in Hoegaarden), but now have to deal with him being madly in love with self. (Can hardly blame him, but still, did NOT want to open that can of worms and now, as they say, the toothpaste is out of the tube. And once the toothpaste is out of the tube it's hard to get it back in.) Just wanted an excuse to say that. But it is irritating. As they say in I Got Plans, "A man is the last thing I need." (I already have several. I am not in the business of collecting them.)
Because I was stressed and in a bitter awful mood about previously mentioned can of Tim Toothpaste, came home last night and started an argument with Ryan. About silly things, and I was about 80% in the WRONG and having a total stir, but he did annoy me. Purely because I was in a shitty mood and had a perverse desire to make other people in shitty moods also. And 'other people' were Ryan, because he was online, poor bastard, and now I don't think he's talking to me.
In fact I'm pretty sure he isn't! Hooray! Sigh. I'm going to have to get a taxi from the ferry terminal because I was in a temper last night and ALWAYS pick fights when I shouldn't.
Went to bed, all tired and cranky and still pissed off, and found that while I thought I'd turned my electric blanket on before I went out actually I hadn't. And my bed was COLD. And this is why I had the nightmare. And I had to charge my phone during the night and the cord was COLD and it kept falling on my face when I was trying to sleep, and then tim would NOT stop txting me and it kept waking me up again, but I couldn't put the fucking thing on silent because then my alarm wouldn't go off and I'd be late for work, which you'll see in the later posts wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference anyway, which makes it twice as irritating. GOD I feel better after typing that sentence.
Had hideous, incredibly vivid nightmare about being shot again and again, beaten half to death, thinking I was going to die and writing my last words in blood beside myself, yet miraculously living. And then everyone wanted to touch my scars but they didn't realise I hadn't healed, and it was incredibly painful, and the only person in the dream who I would allow to touch me didn't want to come near me anymore. could actually feel pain and smell things and feel textures in dream, which I will spare the gory details of as are both gross and boring to anyone not-me. Suffice to say it was horrible, and I woke up all traumatised.
Went to Sucky Shitty Arse Face Work and got FOUR new blisters in an hour as forgot my sticking plasters. Mentioned this to Tim who offered to kiss them better, with a roguish txt wink. Who the fuck kisses half-popped blisters? That is SO gross.
Seriously, what is wrong with people.
Became sick at work...decided at smoko to give myelf until lunchtime as was dizzy and seeing spots, then see how I felt. Lunchtime arrived and I had my sandwich...then, five minutes later I abruptly did not have my sandwich any more. Went home. SULKED ABOUT EVERYTHING. Dad said "it will just be a..bugget. A little bug." "A bugger." "Yes."
Hope tomorrow will be better...if I still feel shitty I am not going to work. Maybe I won't go anyway. Maybe I will LIE and say I feel shitty when actually am just highly fucking lazy. Will stay home and do some writing; apologise to Ryan; eat too much; write planned blog post about inappropriate bodily functions, and decide what my tattoo will be of. Suggestions are welcome.