There is definitely room for a dirty pun in that title.
This is a big update, because I haven't done one for ages and feel guilty at the thought of the tens of millions who check this blog every day just in case...and every time they see the same old update, die a little more inside. And when my loyal readers die a little inside, I die a little more inside.
I have a new job. I do not want to get FIRED for BLOGGING about my JOB (apparently it has been known to happen) so let's just say I work for a company kind of like Eftpos, which sells machines kind of like the ones that Eftpos sells (terminals, as we in the business call them), and has people who are kind of like salespeople, and I am kind of like one of those. My day goes like this.
6.30 - get up. Stomp about the flat saying 'buttcrack of dawn' and annoy my flatmates. Jump into invigorating hot shower. Abruptly remember that I am sunburnt and loudly jump back out of invigorating shower to further annoyance of flatmates.
Back in shower of more moderate temperature. drop soap, curse soap for its slippery buggerness, get out of shower, towel off vigorously, remember about sunburn again.
Eat muesli. Curse muesli as is bitty and stuck in teeth and I do not have TIME to brush teeth because instead of getting up at 6.30 actually got up at 7 and am now going to be late because spent hours getting bits out of teeth so as not to horrify co-workers, none of whom are remotely good-looking anyway, except for one, and he has red hair.
8 - arrive at work with coffee. sit at desk. check email. there is no email. check list of people to call. wish this list as short as list of new emails.
start calling people. This goes thusly:
Me: (put on headset. wish that headset was status symbol in Madonna/head of MI5 kind of way rather than just thing which ruined hair & made me feel slightly stupid.)
ring ring. ring ring.
Me: Hello, this is Ally from Insert Company Name Here. Am I speaking with John?
Me: Excellent. Have I got you at a good time? (Sounds stupid but there is a Customer Feedback Form in which customer gets to complain if you didn't check that Now Was A Good Time.)
Voice of John: Yes.
Me: I understand you're interested in our product...
and from there it becomes too boring to transcribe. Unlike John, I am not interested in our product. To be fair, most of the time neither is John. I spent a morning learning about machines and suffered from (wait for it) terminal boredom.
See? That's the sort of pun you make when you work in an office.
In other news, I am now in a bag band (no, I'm not, I'm in a big band, although the idea of a bag band certainly bears thought) who let me sing, which is nice of them (also strange). And I'm being the trumpet section (Andrea: 'yo mama so fat that when she plays the trumpet, she's the whole trumpet section') for the lower hutt production of Cinderella: the Pantomime. So that should be fun. Also learning salsa dancing, inspired by my flatmate, but not sure if this counts because classes haven't started yet.
Anyway, am off to carry out exciting plan for the evening!*
*go to pub, have beer while writing grandmother's birthday card, go home, watch coronation street, sleep.
DISCLAIMER: plan may not actually be very exciting.