Monday, October 20, 2008


Fancy that! A day has passed, and yet I have not lost the ability to post pictures to my blog. Prepare yourselves for a lot of (mostly unrelated) photos. Andrea suggests I start taking outfit photos - this is a good idea except a) I don't have a digital camera and b) I'm not at all photogenic and c) I'm usually dressed in boring work clothes and d) I'm vain enough that it would take me an extra half hour in the morning, especially when you take b) into account.

So, news of the day: Ghost Whisperer sucks. Or, as we refer to it here, Ghost Breasterer. Because Jennifer Love Hewitt's cleavage has, at the least, a minor character part. It should be in the title credits. "Jennifer Love Hewitt's Cleavage playing Itself." Cleavage is also a better actress (actor? actperson?) than JLH herself. Anyway! That wasn't actually the news of the day, but while I'm rambling about sexually related body parts I would just like to say that, contrary to Andrea's new theory, my obsession with the ENORMOUS BANANA is a) over and b) not Freudian in the least.

The actual news of the day is that I have a plot for NaNoWriMo! By which I mean I have a sort of plot. I have an idea. Basically, it goes like this. Prepare yourselves.

What if we accidentally found the lost underwater civilization of Atlantis? What if they turned out to be real douchebags? What if they started a war with us?

What if it was told from about six different points of view?

My NaNoWriMo is about a war between humanity and shapeshifting Atlantean necromancers.

Don't act like you're not impressed.

Brace yourself, literary world. Brace yourself for MERZOMBIES.

I'm not 100% sure about the merzombies. But it's just such a stunning word.

I promise heavy artillery and sadistic lieutenants and misguided bounty hunters and volcanic eruptions and underwater zoos and probably cross-civilization romance. Who's excited? I'm excited! Who's insane? I'm insane! Who has to learn about Atlantis and military organisation and strategy and salvage and weaponry! I have get the point.

I know it doesn't necessarily sound like that great of an idea (by which I mean I know it sounds alike possibly the worst idea for a novel, ever) but I was just sitting there at work today and one of my colleagues said something and the idea fell into my head, and I thought 'Yes! That's what I'm going to do for NaNo! War Against Atlantis!' And then characters and motives and scenes started popping in my head like kernels of popcorn exploding in a pan. In my brain-pan. Kernels of thought in my brain-pan! Plot kernels, character kernels, setting kernels, military kernels! Ha ha ha. Did I mention I am very tired?

I think I am a nutter. But then you knew that already, it's a large part of my charm.

Crap Analogy of the Day:

Backstory: At work at the moment my team is only 3 people (since the departure of VB). It's really meant to be a 5-person team, but we were fine as a 4-person because VB and I did, between us, 60/70% of the work. So now he is gone, and I am left with the Gung-Ho Kid, and the well-intentioned but ultimately tits-on-a-bull Newbie. Ready for the analogy?

Analogy:Being in my Team is like being in a Dinghy.

Before, VB and I had one oar each and were keeping the dinghy upright and on course - not an easy task, but a manageable one. It didn't really matter if the Newbie and the Gung-Ho Kid sat at the back of the boat and looked at the scenery and talked about what was in their sandwiches.

But now that there is no VB, the dinghy is hideously off-balance because I'm the only one a) rowing and b) with any knowledge of how to row. I spend most of my day shouting desperately to Newbie and the Gung-Ho Kid, "Stop standing up in the dinghy! Sit down and row! Stop running around! Bail out, bail out! Can't you see we're going to sink if you don't sit down and help me out here?!"

Meanwhile, the Gung-Ho Kid and Newbie are shouting, "Ally! Ally! Come and look! I think I can see a dolphin!"

SIGH. Anyone hiring?

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