Latest crazy novel idea:
Bounty hunter must regain pair of solid gold pants before they are possessed by the god of the merzombie snake people. Jungle adventure to follow, ending in climactic temple scene and possible merzombie invasion.
Still crappy (I cannot seem to shake the merzombies, for one) but much more doable. Also have all the characters sorted out. Am feeling kind of sorry for making them go on silly pants quest but oh well! They pop up in my mind, what do they expect? If they wanted to be taken seriously they should've popped up in the mind of Stephen King.
Had a long narrative dream last night which would make a great novel - is serious, heart-rending and poignant stuff. (Have written it down for future reference.) Problem? I can't write seriously. I can't do it! Is impossible. I know I've complained about this before, but it's frustratingly difficult to write about serious subjects when your characters keep making puns.
Plan now is to develop new, serious plot fully and then sell it on the international writers' black market (what with the amount of people who complain about writer's block, it must exist). Am frustrated because Serious Plot is a lot better than Pants Quest, but Pants Quest a lot easier to write as characters can arse about and generally be literary liabilities. Pants Quest is a great title, though. Sounds like name of old-school computer game with monophonic them song. "Deedle deedle dee...Pants Quest."
You are standing outside a building. The sea is to your left. To the right is a road.