Dear Neighbours

I am sure that you are very nice people, but if your car alarm goes off one more time I am going to come over there and hit you with a brick.

Had a panic this morning about job, lack of, and money, lack of, and bills, profusion of, but dealt with this by laughing hysterically and am fine now.

Ew, sister's Horrid Boyfriend has just arrived. He is a bogan. Of all the things I thought my sister might grow up to be (vet, model, singer, sportswoman) I never thought 'boganess' would be the eventual outcome. However, they've been together three years and show no signs of slowing down. I don't think I want a brother-in-law whose black singlet proudly displays his bleach blond armpit hair (no, really, there was dye left over from his head, probably because he didn't do the roots), but it appears that I have no say in the matter.

Have started watching a huge number of martial arts films - partially because I've just discovered the genre (thanks to House of Flying Daggers, which you should go and watch right now because it is, as my impossibly coloured friend says, awesome) and want to see all the martial arts movies ever made ever, and also because as an added bonus I get to see DVD Boy all the time. If only he came and watched the movies with me my life would be complete. I could ask him, but that would be a bit weird. Although I did borrow his pen the other day, which is definitely progress. Must remember I really only fancy him because he has dimples and the power to give me free rental.

OK, Kate and Horrid Boyfriend are trying to make me watch a Youtube video called 'My Dick in a Box.' I am retiring to the other room.