Not About Cannibalism

About Twitter. (Well, the start of it is. The end of it is about something else, but it isn't cannibalism either.) Do you twit? (That's what it's called, right?) I have recently begun to be slightly tempted to twit, but then it also seems awfully narcissistic, in a 'I post disjointed thoughts on an internet thing in the hopes that they will be read by everyone in the world." In a way completely unlike having a blog! (To be fair, I had this blog for ages before I had any readers.) Also it sounds kind of stupid but, then again, as a 'blogger' I don't really have a leg to stand on here.

So yeah in other news I start work tomorrow. I was trying to think positively about this, to see it as a period of change and excitement; a period of new ventures, of colleagues and friends and company email addresses, and of upping my number of Facebook buddies. I have now given that up as a lost cause and am just thinking about the money. Besides, if I go in with high expectations I could well be disappointed, but if I enter the building thinking "Well, this is going to be the most craptastic experience I've had since TLDOML (ooh, self-referential)," then I can't fail to be pleasantly surprised. Unless, of course, it really is that bad - in which case I can at least find a little joy in smugly saying "I told you so" to myself and everyone I know, including the blogosphere. Which is right up there with 'chillax' on my list of words that are satisfying to say, but make you sound like a douchebag.



Oh Jesus I have to iron my suit pants. After first finding them. And sewing a button onto the fly. I hate being gainfully employed and it hasn't even started yet.

I am slightly tempted to tell all of my new colleagues whopping great lies (I am engaged to a French airman/my preferred name is Napoleon and I respond to nothing else/I only have four toes on my left foot because of a horrific accident/I have a twin, who will be working for me on Fridays, but please don't tell anyone, etc.) but I would probably get found out. Is still tempting, though. (I have a face on my butt and if you touch it you can see the future.)

Oh God. I just had something pointed out to me. There are 7 of us 'coming on board' at once. You know what that means, don't you? (It's corporate-speak, and it means 'joining the company.' Sheesh, guys. Get with the program.)

There is going to be team building.

PLEASE GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH FUCK IT ALL

TEAM BUILDING IS MY NEMESIS

I WILL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT TOMORROW