Thursday, February 26, 2009

Ten Facts About My New Job*

*technically nine as one of them is actually about kickboxing

1. It is a telemarketing job, signing people up for membership in a program which gets you discounted holiday accommodation. We are meant to "Have Fun" and "Tell The Truth-" except, apparently, when saying things like 'this deal is only being offered to 20 people,' even though it's like totally being offered to everyone. Maybe we say this because we don't expect any more than 20 to sign up as they're are all too busy telling us telemarketers (whoops, no, am not meant to say that - is 'telesales') people to fuck off.

2. Speaking of which, today I was told to fuck off twice! I am going to keep a chart of how often I am told this. I shall call it the Fuckoffometer. Sounds vaguely Russian, doesn't it? Maybe like a Russian tennis player. Anna Fuckoffometer. This is going to one of those jobs where I sit there all day bored out of my nut then come home and blog myself into insensibility, just to use up all those excess thoughts.

3. I am afraid to blog about any of my new colleagues in case I get excited (read: drunk) and tell them all about My Wonderful Blog. But then if I didn't blog about them, there would be no fun. Am still coming to a decision about this.

4. Have made usual rule about not shagging workmates. Expect it to last as long as usual i.e. until first staff party - ha ha, just kidding! :/

5. I am out of facts already. It is just that boring of a job.

6. But it is quite well-paid for what it is. Usually I am told to fuck off for free.

7. Probably because I don't get a company email address.

8. And one of my bosses spells that noise birds make 'churping.'

9. Luckily, I have started learning kickboxing. Can I take a moment to mention how much it rocks? I have only been to one lesson and I already feel significantly more badass. Also, apparently I am a natural (!!) although the telemarketing (whoops, telesales) people said that as well, didn't they. Maybe I am just a natural at everything.

10. Fact 10 is a graph. A pie graph! I am expanding my repertoire.

This graph is about How I Spent My Day.
It's fuzzy. I'm sorry.


Baglady said...

Fancy pie charts cannot hide the boredom. But nice try.

(I am Kelly, BTW)

Baglady said...

I just re-read my comment and it sounds so rude! I mean you being bored with your job! Oops.