Thursday, March 19, 2009

Brain Garden

I am meant to be cleaning right now. In fact, I turned on my computer so I could put on 'cleaning soundtrack.' Obviously, that's not what I've done.

What I Have Done With My Computer, Thus Far: chatted to four different people, read several humour sites, and begun a blog post. What I Have Not Done (with or without computer): put on 'cleaning soundtrack;' any actual cleaning. (Cleaning soundtrack, in case you were wondering, is Christina Aguilera's 'Dirrty' on repeat, interspersed with Mary Poppins shouting, "The job's a game!")

Sigh. In other news, I wish I had a whiteboard. I've got ideas for a book/story/novella/Work of Literary Brilliance bouncing around in my bonce. Occasionally they whack into each other and a germ of cohesion sprouts in the fertile soil of my, um...neurons? but then the second it dares to poke its head out of the neuron soil it is choked by the weeds of insanity which seem to grow over most of my brain which is apparently a garden. *blink*
So I would like a whiteboard, to connect all of the germinating ideas in a fit of conceptual landscape gardening, with the aim of eventually cultivating a nice, structured, box hedge-y herbacious border of sanity and (more importantly) plot.

New theory about cleaning: Cleaners are Weiners. I am now cleaning, and I keep finding bills I'd forgotten about. I am also finding a lot of little scraps of paper with things written on them which were obviously at some point considered important enough to write down, but which now make no sense at all. This always happens. It drives me mad. Why did I write down things like 'Dog; Bevan,' 'We could be... Feces Dragon?' 'We've got five minutes, we'll never make it! I'm going to the toilet,' '"The Zeitgeist" - watch,' and 'ACCIDENTAL OCTOPUS?' Could one of these have been the seed from which grew The Greatest Novel of Our Generation? Well, I guess now we'll never know. (Although on reflection I think ACCIDENTAL OCTOPUS was probably a band name.)

I think my blog would benefit greatly from a quality control checker, similar to that YouTube Comment Moderator thingy that reads your comment back to you so you can decide whether or not you really want to say "LULZ! ths is ORSUM!!!11" (Are you sure you want to post "lull zizz *chk* thiz is or sum *chk chk chk* eleven"?)

Mine would say, "Uh, Ally, is this really interesting enough to share with the world?" And I would say What are you talking about of course it is, and hit-

9 comments:

Brooke said...

OK, the first thing I want to know is: did you make your cleaning soundtrack? The second is: if so, how? Third: If you didn't make it, how did you get it? Fourth: Where do I get it?!
Coz it sounds like pretty much the most awesome thing ever.
My cleaning soundtrack is usually whatever cassette tape I find first in my treasure box. Variously S Club 7, Deep Obsession, Billie, Aqua, etc.
That whiteboard idea sounds good. I have a whiteboard, but I use it for writing lists of things that I have to do that I end up Having Not Done.
I use my arm/the closest piece of paper for writing down story ideas when I'm just about to drop off to sleep. This is also normally in the dark, so it's always interesting trying to cipher my scrawling on whatever magazine page I have chosen in the dark the next morning. I suggest this method. If nothing else, you are almost always guaranteed a mirror-image tattoo of your story idea somewhere on your face the next day.
Did you ever get the cleaning done?

SF said...

On the subject of writing thing on your arm.

I once woke up with a random telephone number 'written' on the inside of my thigh...
After spending a few minutes frantically trying to remember
a) whose number it might be and
b) how the hell it got onto my inner thigh
I realised it was a mirror image of a number on the back of my hand. Still don't know whose number it was though ;)

IT IS ALLY said...

Brooke: the cleaning soundtrack doesn't actually exist. I'm sorry :( However, I'm pretty sure you could put one together quite easily with the Internet and some sort of music copy-paste thing?

A character in My Novel (Yes That's Right I Wrote One (unpublished)) who is a seer constantly writes important visions down on her arm, then tries to decipher them the next day :D

SF: In the absence of any clues, I am going to assume 'SF' stands for 'Someone Famous' and congratulate myself accordingly. :D

SF said...

I wish - it's Sally

Always suffer from a distinct lack of creativity when trying to think of usernames.

IT IS ALLY said...

Someone Famous by Association, then! (Association with Tom, not with me.) Although also with me.

Holly said...

Lol so is the cleaning done yet?

That cleaning soundtrack sounds awesome! Brooke, if I still had Garageband on my laptop, I would try and create it IRL...I kind of want it too! :(

IT IS ALLY said...

The cleaning is totally done! I kind of want the CD now.

Wendy said...

Happy Birthday! *

I'm having fun at your blog! I know it's not as exciting as a white board, but I have a notebook I carry with me everywhere and write down lots of things and it's awesome flipping back through the collection of weird thoughts I had. Sometimes I read back and think, "Wow, I am the coolest person ever." (And then somedays I flip back through and think, "Wow, maybe I should go see a doctor and get some medication.")

Worth considering, anyway!

* Probably Not Really

IT IS ALLY said...

Wendy: I'm glad you're having fun! I used to carry a diary around and do exactly the same thing (incidentally this makes us awesome, not mad), but I am between notebooks at the moment. Must get a new one - thank you for the unintentional reminder!