Everyone knows that love hurts. No-one's very specific about just how much, though. After
1. Little Scratch
2. Stubbing Toe
25. Grating Thumb, Not Cheese
3. Shampoo In Eyes
3.5 Accidentally Burning Self
4. Slamming Finger in Car Door
4.5 Slicing Finger, Not Vegetables
5. Stick in the Eye
5.5 Dog Bite
6. Breaking a Minor Bone
6.5 Walking on Hot Coals
7. Walking on Hot Coals For Ages
7.5 Breaking a Limb
8. Chopping Off Hand
8.5 Swarm of Bees
9. General Torture
9.5 Hung, Drawn, Quartered/Boiled in Oil
10. Flayed Alive
Love's about a 7, technically speaking. Kind of the spiritual equivalent of walking to your letterbox to get the mail, but oh no! the driveway is made of hot coals.
Now that we've cleared that up, on to the business of the day: I joined Twitter. Yeah, I know, I wasn't going to because I think it's ridiculous, but apparently the thought that faceless Internet multitudes (and all of my real life friends) are simply dying to hear about what I'm doing RIGHT NOW appeals to some small part of me. Go figure. So far Twitter keeps eating my tweets, and I am unimpressed.
Word of the day: databasize. Pronounced d'-TAH-bah-size. It's a verb, and it means 'to organise into/create a database.' Databasize.
Andrea pointed out that I have invited the whole internet to my impending poker night. I may need two little packets of cocktail sausages.
That is all. Tomorrow, something interesting!**
On a side note, if anyone knows how to create that little dagger symbol you use for footnoting after you've used * and ** please let me know. Footnotes are the new
"As you're aware, we need this ten-page form completed in triplicate - unfortunately you've missed initialling one of the pages, and for administrative purposes we'll need the entire form to be completed again. Please resend the new copy to us as soon as possible, as without it we're unable to finish processing your application. Thanks in advance!"
That was what we, and by we I mean I, said when we, and by we I mean I, lost an important document.
*which I made up
***unless I do this, which looks kind of stupid