A List

Things which are much more fun to Do than to Watch

I realise there are literally hundreds of things that fall into that category, but here are five of my favourites.

1. Any kind of Xbox/Playstation/Wii game

Guitar Hero was the game I had in mind when I thought of that, but pretty much all of them qualify (see also: Zelda, Tekken). There are two exceptions. (I think.) The first one is Viva Piñata. For anyone who isn't familiar with VP, you start off with a garden, and then you have to grow things. Depending on what you cultivate, different animal piñatas (piñanimals?) come and live in your garden. You have to tempt them in by growing the things they like, and then if they eat something they 'live' there and you can breed and sell them. 'Whee,' I hear you say.

Thrilling as that sounds, it's more fun to watch because apparently the second you start actually playing VP you give up your life in pursuit of piñanimals, whereas if you're just watching you can share in the exultant joy when the bear finally comes into the garden, but avoid the emotional distress when he inevitably leaves again without eating anything. (I was once woken up in the middle of the night by a flatmate's cry of triumph when the bear finally decided to live in the garden. I thought we were going to have a little party. With a piñata.)

The second one is some zombie game - Dead Rising, possibly - where there is you, and there is a shopping mall, and there are zombies. I sucked so much at that game. But it's fun to watch other people run down zombies with a lawnmower.


2. Open Mic Nights, specifically poetry ones

Because while you're onstage you're the modern Yeats, but then you have to sit back down and listen to ten other versions of 'bone-bleached trees/ beneath grey winter sky/ and the snow falls as dirty as my dreams.' Dreams as in hopes and goals which have been sullied by Reality, not as in that weird sex dream you had about your workmate. But sometimes that too. Also quite often these (poetry nights, not weird sex dreams) are at weird arty cafes that smell like patchouli and don't serve alcohol (!)


3. Cutting of the Toenails

Anyone else find the disgusting business of cutting their toenails hugely satisfying?


4. Being Brooke Fraser

Even though you'd have to sing bland songs in a morally superior manner and give all your money to charity, surely being Brooke Fraser would still have to be more fun than listening to Brooke Fraser. Surely.


5. Blogging.

And this next paragraph will probably show you why.


Here is my question for today: it is about dogs' bladders. You know how when you walk a dog, it stops to pee on lots of things? Of course you know that, it is legend. This sparks the question, is a dog's bladder ever truly empty? Or does he always leave a little bit in reserve (so to speak) in case he sees something else he needs to pee on? If so, I wish I could learn how to do that, because whenever I go to the doctor and need to produce a urine sample I've inevitably just been. It's more embarrassing than you might think.

Speaking of weird dreams, I had a dream last week where my current Hopeless Crush complimented my leg hair ("Mine won't grow like that!" he said) and then we made out. PZS

Am also going on second date with second FindSomeone person, as Hopeless Crush is, as noted, hopeless, and I need someone to shag until he comes to his senses and realises that I am the Love of his Life , maybe if I give this guy a chance love might be just around the corner (!)

(Sorry about the Return of the Strikethrough, but I was good for ages. I promise not to let it get so out of control again.)

OK I was going to end that post there but now I have another question. You know that little clock I have in the sidebar? Yeah the one with the kind of lame pun. Why would anyone ever need a clock on their website? There is an entire site devoted to these and yet there is a clock in your computer sidebar. Or whatever that thing is called. When would you be in a situation where you would need that feature? I know I have one but I did it for the lulz - God I hate that phrase - not because I think that somewhere out there there is someone who will be reading my blog one day and think 'oh God what is the time' and look at that clock instead of at the one their computer came with. IT MAKES NO SENSE.

Lizst: 3

Today is a special day, and not just because of Zombie Jesus rising Easter - I have a new theory about the World that I would like to share with you all. Don't worry, it's more socially acceptable than theory #23*. It is about a theory about Morality. Prepare yourself!

Ok, imagine this. One afternoon you are sitting quietly in the lounge watching, I don't know, the Home & Away omnibus or something, and then out of nowhere GOD appears in your living room & switches off the TV. "Oi!" you say, "I was watching that, Charlie was just about to hook up with that other girl." GOD, who does not watch Home & Away because it is on at the same time as Wheel of Fortune, does not care. "I have a proposition for you," says GOD. "Would you like to be Very Rich?" "Yes," you say. GOD pretends to be all surprised, and then goes on to outline a plan by which you could, nay, will become ludicrously wealthy. The downside is that it is ever so slightly illegal and/or immoral. Nothing too bad, no grandmother-selling or anything, just a little on the dodgy side. You wonder slightly why GOD is suggesting this. However, GOD has given you his very own, God-given guarantee that no-one will ever find out and you can tell your friends and family you're an investment banker or something.

Now, my theory is that there are two types of people in the world: those who would say, "Gosh, no, thanks awfully, but I couldn't ever do that," and those who would say, "I think my first Porsche will have to be silver." I definitely fall into the second group; my mother, aunt and cousin do not. It makes for interesting dinner conversation. And now, a list.


Things That Happened To Me Today

1. I went to the beach and got crabs...to crawl on my hand! Went around lifting up rocks and found all of these things:
- little shiny black crabs with big front pincers
- see above, but bigger & old enough to have one 'boxer's pincer' more developed than the other; hardcore. Was one of these that I talked into hopping on my hand
- traditionally-shaped crabs (heart-shaped shell) with little spindly legs
- anenomes that waved their fronds about and tucked them all back in rapidly when confronted with my finger
- small, see-through 'mini-lobsters' with orange spots on their legs; did not actually see the spots but have it on good authority (from my mother) that they did exist
- 'shadow fish' - small, black, bullet-shaped (?) fish (?) that move very fast and resemble shadows. Probably not their technical name but you never know.

2. Was menaced by beach bagpiper. Some chump with a pair of bagpipes** obviously had the noble idea to practice his 'art' away from civilization; this would have been a great idea but Cable Bay is a popular beach spot and not really away from civilization at all. He hauled ass up a hill that overlooked the bay and proceeded to face out to sea and play the bagpipes really badly.
Turns out that playing the bagpipes whilst standing on a hill and facing out to sea doesn't make you cut a lone, dramatic figure; it makes you look like a chump playing the bagpipes. The delightful thing about the bagpipes, I find, is that it is possibly the only instrument that allows you to be out of tune with yourself. Not only were two of the tones in the drone out of tune, but the drone itself was almost a full semitone out with the high squealy melody bit (pipes?). I was tempted to go and ask him, "How can you stand the noise you're making?" but this would have been rude. Man what I would not have given right then to have my trumpet. I would walk up the hill with it and stand right behind the bagpipe player and bring the trumpet down smartly on his head. Jenny, ever the optimist, asked, "Does it get better as he warms up?" Hahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Good one, Jenny.

3. I saw a dump truck. This was only exciting because it was the exact replica of a toy dump truck I had as a child (only bigger) and I haven't seen a dump truck like it since I used to play with the toy one in the sandpit. Yay! You're going to have to trust me on this, but it was exciting. Shout-out to any operators of industrial machinery (especially dump trucks) who are in today's audience. Also digger drivers. Here is a quote from my father, about diggers: "Our friends in times of peace and war." Here is a another quote from my father, rifling through the pantry this morning after forgetting that everything was closed for Easter Sunday: "Vegetable samosas! Are they like breakfast?"

4. I went to the Cathedral and looked at stained glass saints and I have got to say that maybe it's just because he seems to be the only dude saint without a beard but boy does St. John, Ev. (what is this Ev?) look emo. He looks like someone who would take you aside at a party and spend the next hour reciting his bad poetry and telling you about how difficult it is to make it as an artist while you desperately try to escape. In other news, I'm not sure what he's the saint of, but I hope I never have to pray to him. St. James the Great is much more my type of saint; his window has "ye shall drink from my cup" written on it. It would suck to be St. James the Lesser, wouldn't it? He and St. John, Ev. probably hang out together and complain. Heck, they probably have a band or something. Oh shit I'm going to hell again.

Also at the cathedral: painting of Lord Baden-Powell of Gilwell (possibly; wrote it down very messily and now not sure exactly what it says), who was the founder of the Boy Scouts and, more importantly, CHIEF SCOUT OF THE WORLD. I know this because that was the caption of the painting. CHIEF SCOUT OF THE WORLD. I just misspelt 'scout' as 'scunt.' Whoops.

5. I heard the cathedral bell-ringers practicing their scales and they were fairly unimpressive (although to be fair it is probably not an easy thing to do). There were a lot of accidental non-scales. "Fuck, Henry! That's the F bell! A is in your left hand! How many times do we have to go over this?" My mother said "Well, it's better than an old Arab man singing on the top of his minaret." Slightly politically incorrect, but true nonetheless.

Tomorrow, post will be better. Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Good one. Fuck I am obnoxious.



*you can't complain about overpopulation and world hunger at the same time

**or is it just called a bagpipe? Does anyone really care about this?

Lizst: 2

Ok I am in Nelson and here is the second list of List Week. I had tons of other things to write about (i.e. did you know Thoth was the Egyptian god of both lisps and packaged meat products ('thothages'?)) but I forgot most of them. Apart from that last one, which I probably could've left out anyway. Speaking of anyway, here is the list.

Top Five Things I Pretend to Understand, but Don't*

1. The Internet. I have kind of tried to understand this. (I think it is all a big series of connected tubes?) However, the following question comes back: where are all these web pages? Physically speaking. WHERE ARE THEY? Because I can see them! But they aren't anywhere! Or something. There is just a lot of code (where is it?) and this code makes things pop up on my computer but where is all the code? Which leads me to contemplate computers. How do they work? I have a theory that no-one actually knows, and all the people in computer/online companies are just frantically crossing their fingers and hoping the whole thing doesn't suddenly fuck out. (I know this isn't how it actually is.) I would go on more about this but thinking about it for too long makes my brain view horizons it is not used to - is like that bit in Vanilla Sky where they are upside down and the skyline is all purple and orange (did that actually happen? I was kind of drunk when I watched it) and their minds are blown and then they are in an elevator. Without the elevator.

2. Global Warming
Ok. Here is my basic understanding of Global Warming (according to various world leaders it is apparently important enough for unjustified unexpected capitalisation): every time you fart, God kills a penguin. Or melts an ice cap, or something. Unless you plant trees/buy carbon credits (which is, to the best of my knowledge, paying someone else to plant trees on your behalf.) No? No. Probably not. Ok, how about this? Think about it: what causes the most Global Warming? I have no idea. Consumerism and buying stuff! Who do people buy the most unnecessary items for? Themselves. Their children. (And other people's children and, if you are a superstar like Bono or Michael Jackson, the children of the world or something.) And why do people buy things for children?

SANTA.

That's right. Santa causes Global Warming - not just by travelling around the entire world in one night (think of the size of his carbon footprint), but by making us all buy things. The cult of St. Nicholas is killing the planet. Al Gore and I are making a documentary about this. Tell your friends.

3. The Situation in the Middle East
While I like to think I am well qualified to make pithy remarks about this/suggest possible strategies for peace, to be pretty honest I'm just pleased as punch that I know where the Middle East is. Seriously - a couple of weeks ago I was studying African countries for pub quiz purposes and I learnt that Angola is not in Europe and Mali is not in Asia because they are both in Africa. I was quite honestly surprised. Also, you know what is not in Africa? The Amazon. It's in South America. Who knew? Not me, until last week in Spanish class. (Embarrassing moment.) So, seriously, if I am talking to you about the situation in the Middle East, you can feel confident that I'm blowing air out my ass applying my General Rules of International Relations to some area that I have no idea about, except that Iran is in it (probably).

4. The Treaty of Waitangi
This is the treaty made between the indigenous Maori people of NZ and the invading British overlords back in the day. From what I understand (and you know if you're interested you really should Wikipedia it or something, as this is a list of things I don't understand) it goes something like this:
Back in the day (some time in 1800s? hmm):
Maori: Oi!
British: Oh, I beg your pardon, my good man.
Maori: You're on my land.
British: Yes, I was just admiring it. What beautiful land it is. *glint in eye*
Maori: What'll you give me for it?
British: These beads.
Maori: No! No deal.
British: These beads...and this horse.
Maori: Well...it is quite a nice horse.
British: Isn't it, though? Sign on the dotted line.

200 years later:
Maori: Oi!
British: What now? You are interrupting tea.
Maori: We have just realised that our forefathers got swindled by your forefathers, and we want you to do something about it.
British: Pardon?
Maori: You gave 'em one! Turned 'em over and-
British, hastily: Yes, yes! Never mind about that. Here's, um, here's a teapot. Look at it. Isn't it nice?
Maori: We don't want a teapot, we want our land back.
British, somewhat impatiently: No, no. Here is your teapot.
Maori suddenly turn nasty: I hate to say this, but your actions could come off a little, you know, racist. Surely you wouldn't want word of this to spread to your nice, non-racist neighbours?
British, hastily: Oh! You must have misheard me! Of course you can have your land back. And some money. Would you like some money?
Maori rub hands together and exit, stage whatever.

And now I get a day off once a year to celebrate this. I'd also like to say that I am not being a big fat racist here: the British swindled the Maori back in the day with a crappy land deal, and now the Maori have swindled them back in compensation claims, and if that analysis offends you then please try to remember that I actually know very little about this so I am not just being a bigot, I am being an ignorant bigot too.

5. The Origins of Rock

All of those classic bands that modern music is based on? I know nothing about any of them. Which is at once intensely liberating and intensely shameful to admit. But if you try to call me out on this, I will lie and say pretentious things about the Velvet Underground.

Everyone does.


*You know, those things that you mention in conversation and I say 'hmmm' thoughtfully, then make some kind of horoscope statement** and carry on. I realise that all of these topics are things I am perfectly capable of understanding- in fact, from time to time people try to explain them to me, but I usually tune out through sheer lack of interest. Sorry.

**'horoscope statement:' any statement which can be applied to most situations and is so vague as to mean essentially nothing, but which still manages to somehow sound remarkably profound. I made up this term myself.

Lizst

We here at terriblyexciting like to bring you a range of posts which can be loosely grouped under one of the three following headings: Actual Stuff, Bizarre Rambles, and General Filth. Recently our management team has noted that the GF content has been high and so we've decided to introduce a new concept: List Week. Welcome to it. I am the management team. The management team of terriblyexciting would like to apologise for the author's recent decline in quality posts. The author is playing NetHack. Please direct your complaints to the management team. They are both me.

Anyway so in List Week I'm going to be making lists of stuff. Here is the first one. Feel free to leave suggestions for future lists in the comments. If you don't like the idea I don't care, I am playing NetHack then leaving your thoughts in the comment box would still be appropriate. But please, people. Don't be a hatiator. (It is a person who radiates hate.)


Top 5 Childhood Games Played By Me

5. Engine Hospitals
Engine Hospitals is one of the first games I remember playing. It comes from way back in the day, when I thought I was a train. (No, actually; I truly believed that I was James, the red boy train from Thomas the Tank Engine. Mum (Percy) and Dad (Gordon) were genuinely concerned that my younger sister was going to grow up thinking that a) her name was Edward and b) she was a train also.) The basic premise of Engine Hospitals was that I would wander out to the washing line, where Mum was hanging sheets, and engage her in the game by saying something along the lines of, "Percy, we have to visit the engine hospital" and tangling myself up in a wet sheet. Mum would be the nurse (as well as being Percy, which may seem illogical but please try to remember I thought I was a train), and say lots of interesting things like, "Oh, poor Gordon! He's burst his boiler." Years later Mum confessed to me that she quickly became sick to death of thinking up new engine ailments and desperately wished for the game to end.

2. Mary and the Babyjesus
I think I might have mentioned this enjoyable but somewhat politically incorrect game before, but oh well, it's a classic. My younger sister and I used to have 'bowers' together (you stand in the bath, turn the shower on, put the bath-plug in and then stay in there until eventually you are splashing about happily in a pool of tepid water), and directly after the bower was the prime time to play Mary and the Babyjesus. We each had a blue towel - mine was smaller and dark blue, and hers was big and light blue. Whoever was playing Mary would wear the big towel in hooded-robe fashion, then Babyjesus would put on the smaller towel and scootch in under one side of Mary's robe. The Babyjesus was then 'hidden' or, if you like, 'in gestation.' Then Mary would shuffle into the living room where one or both of our parents were and declare in a loud voice, "I am Mary!" There would then be a dramatic pause, then Mary would shout "And here is the Babyjesus!!" and throw her robe open. Lo, there was the Babyjesus indeed! Also, you just got flashed by the Mother of God. Kate always got really annoyed when we played this because I usually made her play the ultimately more important, but rather less dramatic role of Babyjesus.

Sorry if you're getting bored. I probably would be by now.

3. Little Foxes
This game provided hours of fun. In hindsight, I have no idea why. Kate and I would pretend to be the titular little foxes, crawling on our bellies through the long grass that covered most of our property, and making nests and the like out of flattened long grass. I have no idea why this was so entertaining; although I guess the knowledge that at any moment you could accidentally wriggle into a hidden dog turd must've added a certain element of danger.

4. Horses
I know that everyone has a game where they 'gallop' about on (imaginary) horses, looking like a lopsided, furiously determined retard, but ours was different. Mainly because I was a real dick had a creative mind, and sometimes I got bored with the endless lolloping up & down the drive and decided it was time to add a new element to the game. My favourite addition (that I recall) was called Stable Arson and it went like this. Me: "I'm riding Russia. (She was a stocky palomino.) Which horse are you riding?" Kate: "I'm riding Thunder." Me: "No, you can't be." Kate: "Why not?" Me: "Because your stable burnt down, and all of your horses died." End of game.


5. Animal Weddings
This is only worth mentioning because we had a little tribe (or herd, I suppose) of Littlest Pet Shop horses, who besides being pirates and rock stars also got married a lot in really incestuous ways. They were pirates on the river and rock stars in the living room and tigers in the bedroom.* Here, mainly for my own amusement, is a little who's who of the Littlest Pet Shop horse tribe. Appy: Patriarch. Married to Pally. Fell out of pocket of disgusting patchwork fluoro shorts one Renwick School Sports Day; greatly mourned. Pally: Matriarch. Married to Appy, but then later married to Mystic. Had twins, Asteroid and Stardust; later had an affair with Asteroid. Prancer: was a dick. Fell in a hole on a construction site and was not widely mourned. Never married (!!) Whitey: Boring horse, married to Blackie. Blackie: Boring horse, married to Whitey; made slightly more interesting by his later affair with Star. Star: showgirl slutty pony, Prancer's main rival. Had brief affair with Blackie and Asteroid; eventually married Mystic. Ginger: loser - broke ALL legs very quickly. Married to Mystic, but he ran off with Star. Oh boo hoo. Asteroid: twin brother and also husband of Star; briefly married his mother. V Oedipal figure. Stardust: Asteroid's twin sister and/or wife; also married Mystic, who was shagging her mother at the time. Mystic: man he was a pimp. He married ALL the girl ponies and probably slimed the banana with some of the boy ones as well.

So there you are. A little more insight into why I turned out so awesome.


*incestuous tigers

Marmots and Anagrams*

* just kidding, it's actually a rant about neither of those

I was going to write a post about marmots and anagrams but actually I'm in a rotten stinkin' grouchy mood so I'll start off with that instead and see how I go.

Have another date tonight - novelty of dates has well worn off - will let you know how it goes. Date-to-Be asked what I wanted to do. I said "cask of wine in a park?" but this offer was RESCINDED in favour of the much more tame "drinks at a mildly convenient Irish bar." Blah can't be bothered. I cba with dates. More on this another time when I can be arsed writing about it.

Here is a little list of other things I cba with, besides dates and writing about them:

- Flies. Oh God do I hate flies. They are my most hated insect (they are an insect, right? can't think of anything else they would be but kind of feel like I've forgotten a class of animal) ever. I hate them more than spiders. Spiders are vicious bastards but at least they're silent and clean and aerodynamic* and basically everything that flies are not. I'm not going to rant about how awful they are (flies) because you all know that if you have ventured out of your computer room in the last two weeks (my hemisphere) or 6 months and two weeks (other hemisphere). I think all flies should fucking die no actually wait erase that strikethrough because that is how I feel about them. I have spent about ten minutes all afternoon swatting flies and still the bastards come. I shall fight them on the benches! Earlier today I swatted two flies at once while they were engaged in revolting fly sex. Buzz, buzz, buzz! Oh yeah ba- WHACK

Here is a haiku about flies or, as I like to call it, a flyku. Wait no that's not even clever. The only thing that sucked more than that was YOUR MOM OH SNAP. What was I- oh yeah haiku.

Look at all those flies
Those two are having fly sex
Not for much longer!

And now, PeTA's response:

You selfish bastard
Did you never realise
Those flies are in love?

Fuck that. Flies are revolting and have to go.


- Twitter. I know that twitter is fun and all but then this morning I talked to Zach about twitter and some other stuff (what if mice were magnetic have you ever thought about that) and he reminded me that basically if you want to ever be good at anything including life you have to shamelessly whore yourself on twitter (metaphorical whoring (unless you're an actual whore, I guess, but that's not my point)). Besides this I also take issue with people who tweet (actually I take issue with 'tweet' as well but again not where I am going with this) being referred to as 'tweeple.' Apparently twitterrage is catching.

Haiku:

Posted on twitter
Instead of saying 'tweeted'
I renamed it 'twat'


- People. I'm sorry, I don't think I can be bothered with anyone today. Why is it not socially acceptable to say that? I got home from coffee this morning and was all "now all I want is a nap" but no it was visitors here and friendly conversations there and now I have a freakin' date and I still haven't had my damn nap. (Shut up I know I could be napping now but I would rather rant.) Just quietly I would like to get drunk by myself and play on the internet and listen to emo music. Ooh actually that's not so appealing. I have a remarkable talent for making things that are good sound shitty. Oh yeah on that note, go and look up Avenue Q on youtube and listen to Everyone's a Little Bit Racist, or The Internet is for Porn or my personal favourite, Schadenfreude. I won't try to describe it because I'll probably end up saying something like "it's this...thing. This funny thing. It's kind of...I don't know. I think you'd like it."

In other news, I accidentally created a drink I like to call Teafee. It is what you get when you (accidentally) top up your coffee, but instead of the empty coffee cup you select the half-full cup of cold tea from this morning and pour your coffee into that, then drink it without noticing. Don't try it, it's not very nice fucking disgusting.

No marmots; no anagrams. There is a new character though. By the way, how do you guys say 'emoticon?' Because I've always said "emote-ick-con" all run together but then today someone said "emote-EYE-con" and it was real cute and now I like that better but think it's probably wrong but then who cares really it's not really a word you say often. Except when you are talking about the AT and his friend the IB who I will now introduce.

Awkward Turtle, who you no doubt remember... Oh, you don't? Oh. Well, that's kinda- <(")> BAM THERE HE IS

Well, he has a cousin, Inappropriate Bat! ^^..^^
Place both hands in front of you, palms down and fingers pointing away from you. Link thumbs together (if they won't link try again with palms down) and wiggle fingers in a motion which simulates the flight of a bat what you imagine the flight of a bat looks like. Just do it whenever something inappropriate happens.

Example: You and your friend are at a dinner party when a lull in the conversation exposes a guest who is the middle of relating a very sordid and previously untold story about someone else at the table and there is a HUGE SILENCE. Your friend does Awkward Turtle. <(")> You do Inappropriate Bat. ^^..^^

*maybe

Love Hurts*

*but not as much as fire ants

Everyone knows that love hurts. No-one's very specific about just how much, though. After thinking about it for five minutes undertaking extensive research, I have pinpointed exactly where Love sits on the Reinholdt-Heller Pain Scale,* which ranks common injuries on a scale of 1-10.

1. Little Scratch
1.5 Beesting!
2. Stubbing Toe
25. Grating Thumb, Not Cheese
3. Shampoo In Eyes
3.5 Accidentally Burning Self
4. Slamming Finger in Car Door
4.5 Slicing Finger, Not Vegetables
5. Stick in the Eye
5.5 Dog Bite
6. Breaking a Minor Bone
6.5 Walking on Hot Coals
7. Walking on Hot Coals For Ages
7.5 Breaking a Limb
8. Chopping Off Hand
8.5 Swarm of Bees
9. General Torture
9.5 Hung, Drawn, Quartered/Boiled in Oil
10. Flayed Alive

Love's about a 7, technically speaking. Kind of the spiritual equivalent of walking to your letterbox to get the mail, but oh no! the driveway is made of hot coals.

Now that we've cleared that up, on to the business of the day: I joined Twitter. Yeah, I know, I wasn't going to because I think it's ridiculous, but apparently the thought that faceless Internet multitudes (and all of my real life friends) are simply dying to hear about what I'm doing RIGHT NOW appeals to some small part of me. Go figure. So far Twitter keeps eating my tweets, and I am unimpressed.

Word of the day: databasize. Pronounced d'-TAH-bah-size. It's a verb, and it means 'to organise into/create a database.' Databasize.

Andrea pointed out that I have invited the whole internet to my impending poker night. I may need two little packets of cocktail sausages.

That is all. Tomorrow, something interesting!**

On a side note, if anyone knows how to create that little dagger symbol you use for footnoting after you've used * and ** please let me know. Footnotes are the new twitter strikethrough thing to do but at the moment I can only have two of them*** and I need your assistance. Thanks in advance! Haha, horrid phrase. At eftpos we used to end emails with that whenever we were asking someone to do something unenjoyable, or when they were being stubborn about not wanting to provide information.

"As you're aware, we need this ten-page form completed in triplicate - unfortunately you've missed initialling one of the pages, and for administrative purposes we'll need the entire form to be completed again. Please resend the new copy to us as soon as possible, as without it we're unable to finish processing your application. Thanks in advance!"

That was what we, and by we I mean I, said when we, and by we I mean I, lost an important document.


*which I made up

**maybe

***unless I do this, which looks kind of stupid