WE HAVE A WINNER

I forgot about the PZS giveaway for a couple of days. Sorry, everyone.

Anyway, competition was tough! My readers are intelligent literati types! Yay

It was a tough decision, but unfortunately there can only be one America's Next Top Model winner. Here are the totally awesome five runners-up, and a situation in which you might be forced to use them:

Porpoise-zapping stick - Anon
"Quick, Maurice, fetch the PZS!"

Plastic Zebra Species - Jill
"That animal is standing remarkably still. Perhaps he is a member of the PZS."

Post zygotic stress (stress experienced by an individual post conception) - Anon
"As well as my borderline, depression and mild bipolar, I also suffer from PZS."

Portable zoo storage - Kelly
"Hello, Logistics? We're having a bit of a problem with the PZS."

Probably Zebra Shit - Brooke
"I hate cleaning this enclosure. I'm covered in some kind of PZS."

And the winner is...

Pulling zen shit. - Anon
"You know, just, like, sitting and BEING, man."

This is the winner because it made me laugh so hard. I used to be in a band with a saxophone player who was constantly PZS. His parents were French (apparently) and he was called Lorenzo (apparently). When he was introduced to me the conversation actually went like this: "Hi, I'm Ally." "Yeah. Cool. How are you. Yeah. Right." In that I'm-a-rock-star way, but he wasn't.

My favourite time he PZS - and he did it a lot - was when he was talking about transport.

"I'm going to get a bike," he said, "so I can just, like, cycle." "Enough with the PZS," I should have said.

So, whoever that particular Anon was, email me your details (tarquin.deathmongrel(at)gmail.com) and I'll send you something.

Congratulations! And congratulations to the lovely runners-up also because it was really close, and to the other people who entered. Although not as much congratulations, because, well, you didn't win, did you.