Thursday, June 11, 2009

NO U

Andrea and I are sitting in the same room, both on the internet. I am emailing Conor, and reading my book. Andrea is working. Then all of a sudden a Google chat window opens and this happens:


3:55 PM Andrea: what you doin?
me: I email conor, I read book. he emails me, I reply!
& so on
Andrea: aw
me: haha
Andrea: HI CONOR
HOW R U
3:56 PM me: ...
Andrea: R U GOOD
me: hahahaha
Andrea: U DOIN STUFF?
I DOIN STUFF
me: he will be SO IMPRESSED WITH U
Andrea: I EATIN CHEESE
AND LAUGHIN
me: YYOU NOT EATIN CHEESE
I SEE YOU
NOT SEE CHEESE
Andrea: YOU LIE
YOU BIG LIE-ER
me: NO U
3:57 PM Andrea: LIE-ER
me: I'm going copy this entire conversation and send it to him
HA HA
Andrea: YOR FACE UGGLY
me: NO U!!!
Andrea: NO U YOR FACE HA HA
me: MY FACE ORSUM
Andrea: YORS
me: IN UR FACE
3:58 PM UR UGLI FACE
!
Andrea: U BIG FATTY
FATTY BOOM BOOM
me: U FATTIST
I TELL
Andrea: HOW CAN U TELL WHEN U SO FAT
me: YOU ALMOST AS FAT AS U MOMMA
U FAT TOO
Andrea: 2 FAT FOR MOUTH WORKIN
me: U MOUTH FULL OF FAT
FATTY MOUTH
HA HA HA
Andrea: NO U
3:59 PM BIG UGGLY FACE FATTY MOUTH FAT FAT
SMELLY
me: BIG ARSE
BIT FAT ARSE
CAN SMELL YOU FROM HERE
Andrea: YOU SMELL LIKE WEASEL
me: SMELLS BADD
YOU SMELL LIKE STINK
STINK LIKE RUBBER
Andrea: NO U
U ARE TERRORIST I TELL
me: HA HA STINKY
WHAT DID YOU DO
DROP A TERRORIST FART BOMB
4:00 PM YOU RE TERRORIST
Andrea: U STINK EVEN ON MOOON
me: U SIZE OF MOOOON
HA HA HA
Andrea: I SMELL YOU FROM MOON
me: NO U
Andrea: YOR FACE LIKE BIG SMELLY MOON
OF CHEESE
me: LIKE YOR ASS
Andrea: LUMPY
me: LUMPY ARSE
LUMPY ARSE
HA HA HA
Andrea: U BIG FAT WEASELWOMAN
me: U HAV NO FRENDS
Andrea: U LIKE GUANO\
me: BECAUSE YOU STINK
U STINK LIKE GUANP
4:01 PM SO WHAT IF I LIKE GUANO I AM A BATFLY
Andrea: U SMELLY LIKE ARMPIT
me: EW
Andrea: ARMPIT OF CHEESE
me: NO U
Andrea: NO U
me: U ARE BUHOLE
BUMHOLE
Andrea: U ARE STINKY BUMHOLE DOIN BIG POOO
me: BIG GRUBBY BUM
NO U
Andrea: U BUMHOLE BUMWEASEL
BUMPOO
me: ME N CONOR HATE U
Andrea: POOWEASEL
4:02 PM me: SHITWIZARD
YOU ARE SHITWIZARD
Andrea: CONOR ALSO POOWEASEL
me: MADE OF SHIT AND NOT EVEN MAGIC
NO U
Andrea: U ARE POOWIZARD MADE OF POO WHO MAKES MAGIC POO
AND EATS POO
me: HA HA MY POO IS MAGIUC
Andrea: AND STINKS LIKE POOO
me: UR POO JUST BIG & STINKY
LIKE YOU
ALL STINKY
STINK STINK STINK
Andrea: U R A STINKY POO
STINKY GUANO POO
me: MAKES EVERYONE VOMIT WITH YOUR BUMHOLE STINK YOU POO
4:03 PM Andrea: NO U
me: THAT WAS TAUTOLOGOUS
Andrea: YOU SPEL BAD
me: YOU SMEL BAD
HA HA HA
Andrea: YOU SPEL LIKE POOSHIT
me: YOU LOOK FUNNY
FLK
Andrea: ALL FRIENS HATE U
me: UR PARNTS R CUZINS
4:04 PM UGLI CUZNS
U ARE UGLIER THAN MY CUXN
CUZN
Andrea: I DID YO MOMMA I AM YO DADDY
YO RETARDED BUT NOT FROM ME FROM YO MAMA
me: U LIE-ER
Andrea: HER GENES
me: NO U
FACE LIKE A GNOME
Andrea: I ALSO DID ALL YO CUZNS
THEY LIKED IT
me: NO U!
4:05 PM Andrea: U STINKY
STINKY WOMAN
me: U HORID
STINK LIKE A MAN
A MAN MADE OF SHIT
STINKY SHIT
Andrea: U STINK LIKE A NUN
OLD
me: YOU STINK LIKE RUBBER
NO U
Andrea: NO U
me: SMELL LIKE REST HOME
CATS AND URINE CATS AND URINE U R CRAZY CAT LASY
LADY
Andrea: SMELL LIKE BED PAN
me: HA HA HA
Andrea: U SMELL LIKE CATBUMHOLE
IS STINKY
4:06 PM me: UR MOUTH LOOK LIKE CAT BUM
AND POO COMES OUT OF IT
Andrea: UR MOUTH LOOK LIKE POO COMIN OUT OF CATBUM
me: STINKY ROTTEN POO
Andrea: OK I WORK NOW KTHXBAI
me: AND UR NOSE LOOK LIKE BABOON ARSE
Andrea: HAVE NICE DAY
me: U 2
OK BAIIIIII
Andrea: OK BAIIIII AND ALSO U STINK LIKE GIBBONS
me: NO U

3 comments:

Holly said...

Oh the maturity. I can see it a mile away!

Christina said...

Lol. Those convos are the best - they don't make sense, but they don't have to :)

Twisarst - an performance artist who twists their ass (arse?) to provoke reactions. Clearly someone who suffers for their art.

Charlie said...

I love the fact that you posted this on your blog