Tuesday, June 02, 2009

WOAH WOAH WOAH

Hey everyone I have a couple of other posts to do (feat. Onesie Woman) but they have been swiftly sidelined by this stunning comment my Haiku post just received!

"You are a loser. Get a life. I would not have read this if it had not been forwarded to me by a chain of people taking the piss out of you. I had to comment because it irritated me so much. Sexual pasts, however interesting you think they are, should be kept less public. And the haikus are not even clever.

People need to think twice about blogs.....if you want to have any semblence of a reputable career in the future. - Anonymous"


WELL ANONYMOUS I WOULD LIKE TO REPLY.

"You are a loser." - You're fat! Also, it's a little ironic that you're calling me a loser, yet you're wasting valuable wanking time commenting on my blog.

"
Get a life." - If I didn't have one, there wouldn't be so many haiku! Whee

"I would not have read this..." - hey, thanks for reading! I always like new readers.

"...if it had not been forwarded to me by a chain of people taking the piss out of you." - Does this mean I am famous? I checked my site stats and this looks pretty valid - I seem to be doing the rounds of large NZ telecommunications & power companies! I am totally famous and I'm going to start running ads now. Also, I kind of really want to read the email. Do me a favour and forward it - tarquin.deathmongrel@gmail.com

"
I had to comment because it irritated me so much."- I bet you shout at the television. "That's not a real antique!!"

"
Sexual pasts, however interesting you think they are, should be kept less public." - In your opinion. In my opinion, snippy comments - brought on by haiku, which you aren't talented enough to write, about sexual encounters, which you aren't attractive enough to have - should also be kept less public. But, hey, just my opinion.

"And the haikus are not even clever." - I refuse to have my art critiqued by someone who doesn't know the correct plural of haiku.

"
People need to think twice about blogs.....if you want to have any semblence of a reputable career in the future." - People need to think twice about leaving nasty anonymous comments from their work computers, for much the same reason. Also, you misspelt 'semblance.'

Quite seriously, I have no problem with angry/irritated/offended/outraged comments. What I do not like is anonymous comments! Name or GTFO. Andrea suggests not allowing anon comments, but then I know a few of you regular readers don't have Blogger accounts or prefer to be anonymous, so we operate on the honour system here, people!

Which is why it's so nice that I have a little tracking thing on this site, so that I can inform Anoymous's employer that perhaps they have not been spending their company time quite as productively as they should have been.

"Dear *boss* -

I feel obliged to inform you that this afternoon at 1.19pm I received a highly offensive message on my personal website. This message was posted from a computer broadcasting ISP address xxx.xxx.xx, which is identified as belonging to *your company.*
This unfortunate incident has completely put me off using your service in future, and I will be advising my friends and colleagues to do likewise.

Regards, me."


Seriously, though, can someone please forward me the email? And if you're here from the email, hi! Tell your friends!

EDIT: a small child just came to the door selling fundraising chocolate. I bought some and asked what it was for. Answer? "Aw, Miss, it's for my little brother to go to handicap school." Shouldn't they send these kids out with a parent or something?

21 comments:

a cat of impossible colour said...

Suggestion for additional line: 'I feel your employee's time at work could be more productively spent.'

Angry anonymous comments on blogs puzzle me. If you don't like the blog, don't read it. And would you walk up to a strange person on the street and say the same thing to their face?

I don't allow anonymous comments on my blog, but I'm sure I would get lots of angry ones otherwise. Is the curse of the Internet. There are some lovely people out there, but plenty of trolls too.

Holly said...

Ally is this for real!? People have actually been sending an email around to make fun of you?!

If not, then clearly I FAIL at identifying when people are making things up and taking the piss, but if it's actually the case, then HAHAHA, that's awesome (in a "that's also kind of sad" way). I am officially jealous that my blogging skillz have not made me that famous. :D

Seriously though, I agree with Andrea, I don't understand angry anonymous blog comments either. As cliched as it is, people who don't have anything nice/constructive to say should refrain from saying anything at all!

I once got this (http://holly.normania.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/2yxn8g5.png)sent to me via a forum I used to visit. Yup. I got an abuse message because I, evidently, was "too nice". Nope. I don't get it either. o.O

Btw, the word verification for this comment is "table". That is not exciting. :(

Kaileigh said...

I LOVED those Haikus. Just ignore angry anonymous people hiding behind their (work) computer screens... those were great.

And I just learned what "taking the piss" meant (had to google it)... I guess you learn something new every day ;)

Mr London Street said...

That haiku post was one of your finest hours to date!

IT IS ALLY said...

Yah I know! My favourite bit is where they assume I want to have a respectable career

IT IS ALLY said...

Holly - can I share that on my blog tomorrow? It is awesome! I mean, am sorry it got sent to you because I don't think it's deserved, but...what is that? The opposite of a Lolcat? It is the Shouting Rabbit! RahRab? AngerBun?

Captain Geography said...

I think Anonymous got 'owned'.

Holly said...

Absolutely. I thought it was hilarious at the time too. :D

AngerBun FTW. OOH! He could be the nemesis of Onesie Woman!!!

IT IS ALLY said...

Holly - ahahaha yes! Ohhh nooo! AngerBun! And the u can have those double dots above it - umlaut, maybe?

queenofthecastle said...

LOL! If Anonymous does check back and and comment and send you the email, plz to send it to me? That is awesome. You have your very own email forward. I am jealous.

Those haiku were pretty much the definition of awesome. Clearly Anonymous has no sense of humour, and possibly needs to remove AngerBun's carrot from some bodily orifice (not his nostril).

WV: demoliq. The follow-up fashion line to Derelicte, inspired by the destruction by Zoolander of the 'Center for Ants'.

Holly said...

Btw, if you're planning on posting about him, here is his context: http://holly.normania.net/2008/03/09/teehee-i-has-a-hate-mail

Brooke: ROFLMFAO! Best. Comment. Evar. Srsly.

queenofthecastle said...

@ Holly: why thank you. I try *sparkles, not unlike a stalker vampire* :D

Personally, I am all for a post about AngerBun (and possibly his lost carrot). The closest thing to hate mail I've ever had on my blog was a woman who thought that the flu shot she had while she was pregnant caused her kid's autism.

Anonymous said...

Go! Tell employer. That person was a meanie. And jealous of your haiku ability.

Anonymous said...

PS I am a different Anonymous, obviously. I am the Anonymous who won the PZS contest, therefore a fan, not a foe.

IT IS ALLY said...

Huzzah! My favourite Anonymous!

Anonymous said...

hehe wat a knob, lol i think your haiku is fantastic, wat by the way (if you excuse my failure to fully comprehend pluralism) is the plural to haiku?

IT IS ALLY said...

The plural of haiku is haiku - it's a fish word.

Failure to comprehend pluralism excused, because 'pluralism' is a pretty awesome word to use.

macyaverage said...

aaaah, this just makes me laugh. And I agree with the first comment, angry anonymous comments are ridiculous. And cowardly too, tbh.

Charlie said...

Tsk Tsk i bet they do shout at the TV...

Carlos "The fat man" Winkler said...

Why would it be wrong to use Haikus as a plural to haiku?

Is it not a japanese word and therefore using it in the english language should not make it immune to english Grammar?

On the other hand, if words like fish, sheep, donkeynuts are exceptions then an exception can be made to the word "haiku".

I'm preplexed. And aroused....

hmmm..donkeynutz.

katherine said...

hahaha what a dickhead, the only person taking the piss out of your sex life is you, and quite frankly it your haiku put the fun in funeral!