Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Another Interview! Also: I may be nuts.

Thank you for the luck, everyone! It seems to have worked as I have another (final) interview tomorrow, with larger kahunas. Once again my bullshitting skills came through, as did my other, more basic skills: no, not that. My typing speed is 62 words per minute which is, according to the interviewer, "awesome." HELL YEAH IT'S AWESOME I DON'T EVEN TOUCH TYPE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HIRE ME.

It has been a good day. Here's a brief rundown:

Got into town pre-interview and had a caramel macchiato from Starbucks. I know that buying coffee from Starbucks is evil at best and at worst misguided, but until I find a better caramel macchiato then I will continue to go there, despite the truly awful jazz they fire at you. Had a brief attack of wind after my coffee, but luckily there was still 15 minutes before my interview so I had time to furiously expel it all in the Starbucks bathroom.

Interview itself went well - a bit of a chat and three tests (one plain typing, one spelling (wtf kind of job requires you to spell 'baleage' correctly?) and one over-the-phone typing/dictation test in which the interviewer pretended to be a hooker placing a Classified ad and I had trouble not getting the giggles) and then we were done.

Went to the library to look for a book and was accosted by a librarian wielding a plate of cake! Turns out that this very day it is the 150th Birthday of the Library, and that it was having a small, quiet, bookish sort of a party. I tried very hard not to get any cake on my book.

After that I suddenly thought, "Good God, they might call me for another interview, and I have already worn my interview outfit!" So I bought a little black pencil skirt. Then I realised that my pasty hams are not about to land me any jobs, and bought tights. Then I realised that any of my existing shoes, worn with the new skirt, would make me look like a) a librarian or b) a hooker so I bought some nice black court shoes. Then I thought I might as well get a new shirt and THIS IS HOW CREDIT CARD DEBT STARTS, PEOPLE.

Then I had lunch at a classy little Merivale establishment with a sign on the door that said, "I do work, you just have to push really hard" which would have been a good slogan for my old team.

Then I came home and was greeted by our dog, who had gorged himself on beef korma and now has a yellow beard and terrible, terrible curry breath. You can smell him when he enters the room. It is revolting. What is worse is that I didn't realise until I had already given him a big hello hug, and now I am also delicately scented with curry.

Then the job people rang and asked me to come back in tomorrow, so whoopee.

Next up: off to teach small Korean children the joys of the English language! What an exciting day. Hope they like curry.


More luck for interview tomorrow, please! In the line of other things requiring luck and taking place tomorrow, I am going to see a Clinical Psychologist, who (whom?) my mother is insisting I visit following a drunken incident which I found hilarious but which absolutely no-one else has seemed to appreciate. (Philistines.) I don't like to be rude, but in many ways I think psychology is more or less a load of hooey and I fought very hard to have an upgrade to a Psychiatrist (I mean, if I am going to have my head read I would at least like it read by someone who can prescribe controlled substances) but I did not get away with this. New plan is to tell the psychologist lots of lies. (My Mother: "Think what a fascinating treat you'll make for a psychologist!" Thank you, Mother.)

I also suggested acupuncture, reiki and 'if you really want to make me more stable you could just give me $140 a week' (for yes, my friends, that is what an hour with a psychiatrist costs these days - all I can say is, she better put out) but these suggestions were not taken up.

I am going because a) it will make my mother happy and b) it will make for interesting blogging and c) maybe I will get something out of it HAHAHAHAH I DON'T EVEN TOUCH TYPE.

Will let you know how it goes. Is Ally really crazy, or just easily entertained? Find out tomorrow, on....TIMB* : Post-Psychoanalysis!

13 comments:

Darnielle said...

I feel like I should be defending psychology here, but clinical psychology is pretty much at the bottom of 'types of psychology I'd enjoy a career in'. In fact, school psychology is the only thing I rank below it.

I won't be surprised if you're sent home with a diagnosis of 'most well-adjusted person ever' and a suggestion for your mother to work on a sense of humour.

... and maybe that is why I will never make a good clinical psychologist.

Darnielle said...

P.S. Because I'm so wrapped in myself, I forgot to wish you luck on the second round of interviewing.

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

Oh, I am SO looking forward to your blog posts in the next few days.

Mr London Street said...

The image of you expelling wind in a Starbucks bathroom is going to stay with me all day.

Damn you.

Christina said...

Good luck! Hope you kick arse with those corporate court shoes :)

lergle - the half-stumble people make in the morning when they first get out of bed and realise they can't walk properly yet.

Holly said...

I'm glad the job interview went well. :)

How did the ESOL go? I found out today that one of my students (possibly the cutest 5 year old in the world) has the same birthday as I do! That means I now know TWO other people who are born on September 12th! :O

Hope the meeting with the psychologist goes well, and you are not deemed crazy. Also hope all is well in the Head of Ally. :)

When I next see you I will tell you about the counsellor I once saw who told me, in great detail, that I was indeed a car stuck in a mud puddle. I hope you do not have a similar experience - even if it would make for good blogging fodder.

Matthew said...

Libraries celebrating birthdays, expelling wind in Starbucks, interviewers pretending to be hookers. You're like watching a David Lynch film on acid. Great stuff - and good luck with the next interview.

mysterg said...

Now I'm intrigued about the incident that prompted you to be signed up for a psychologist!

Good luck for today, well done for yesterday.

Esmerelda said...

Cake and books, what could be better?

I linked to you in a post. Hope that's okay - if not, let me know and I'll remove it.

my wv is veshelu, so gesundheit. Just in case.

Kaileigh said...

**Sending more luck your way**

:)

IT IS ALLY said...

You guys are awesome - surely with such bloggy power behind me I can't not get the job. I HOPE.

Darnielle - thank you for the (belated) luck! Hehehe. I kinda feel the same about clinical psych, but then again, who knows. I shall give her a chance. It's only fair, I suppose...

Tenneeh - (I am still trying to find a suitable abbreviation) - I am looking forward to writing them! Mainly because I have no idea what is going to be in them.

Mr LS - Consider it payback for Muncle.

Christina - thank you! also, excellent wv - I did one of those this morning on the way to the shower, and was confronted with naked sister. "No-one else is usually up when I shower," she said. What a start to the day.

Holly - thank you! The ESOL went well, will do post about it later. Am doing it again on Friday. I do not think you are a car stuck in a mud puddle, but am interested to know why someone else did. Counsellers. Nutters all.

Matthew - "You're like watching a David Lynch film on acid" is quite possibly the best compliment I have ever received, and I'm totally going to use it as the title for my next post.

mysterg - thank you! Details of the incident will be provided in good time. Create suspense, etc.

Esmerelda - of course that's ok! Thank you so much :)

Kaileigh - thank you! Your luck worked yesterday, so I'll take it with me again today.

Baglady said...

I feel like I am too late to the game to be noticed. I'd stamp my feet loudly and complain about the number of followers/commenters you're getting but it seems churlish since a) you're worth it and b) I am far to nice to stamp feet (I normally just pull a mean face).

Anyway, good luck. Not bad for someone who can't even touch type!


wv = ticon. A small insectimal that is a cross between a tic and a lion. It has a mane and a furry tail and like to suck the blood on real animals.

IT IS ALLY said...

Baglady - thank you! Turns out that should I get through this round there is ANOTHER BLOODY INTERVIEW next week, so your luck will not be wasted.

I like the ticon. I want one as a pet.