My favourite nightmare is a recurring one. I am walking through an Arabian Nights-style spice market, when suddenly I know with total clarity that at any second a giant robot cobra (Cobrot?) is going to rise from the ground and terrorise the city. Then it does. Here is what it looks like:Well, more or less. This is not the worst drawing this post has to offer, either
The first couple of times I had this dream I ran from the giant robot snake and woke in terror. The next couple of times I tried to warn people, but they wouldn't listen - cue snake, destruction, terror. Now, however, the dream isn't really scary any more - I know that a) the snake will arrive no matter what; b) no-one will listen to my warnings and c) the snake, while scary, never actually harms me. So now I just sit back and watch the destruction. It's really quite a calming dream.
There are some who suggest the snake is not really a snake, but is a Metaphorbut they are wrong.
Moving swiftly along.
I was talking to someone over messenger this morning, and used the phrase 'bare-faced liar'. They corrected me - "do you mean bear-faced?" and I said that no, actually I did not, and that I was pretty sure it was bare, not bear. "Really?" they said, "I always imagined someone wearing a bear mask."
Which reminded me of the time that Andrea and I pulled a fast one on an acquaintance. This acquaintance is the most pretentious person I know. Please bear (or bare) in mind that I have been to music school, joined a writers' group and been involved with the the-a-tah, so competition is stiff (and pretentious). But he is the Most Pretentious of them All.* Anyway, he was wanking on about something or other and happened to use the phrase, 'waiting for the other shoe to drop.' "What?" I said. "You know, waiting for the catch. Waiting for the other shoe to drop." "Oh! Haha. It's 'ball,' not 'shoe.'" "Oh, right, like juggling or something?" He totally bought it. For someone who thinks he is highly intelligent, he's really...not very intelligent.
As far as I know he still says it. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to imagine him holding forth at length on some crackpot theory and finishing off with, "..and really, we're just all waiting for the other ball to drop." Yeah, yeah, juvenile, I know.
Anyway, am going to go and combat the crappy weather by making biscuits - chocolate biscuits with candy-coated chocolate chips in them, with dark & white chocolate buttons melted together on top, & silver cachous for fancy. Then the house will be warm and smell like baking! Yay.
*Example: he has decided that the only way to stop mankind's inevitable descent into a dystopian, violence-based, corporation-controlled society is to create an artificial intelligence. Obviously, he is the best candidate to build this. Actual word-for-word quote from around the time he realised this: "Since I have been very young, I have wanted to save the world. Luckily, I now know how." OH WORLD YOU SO LUCKY.