Thursday, August 13, 2009

Dreams and Biscuits and Bears

Nothing to report except crappy weather (Charlie is sulking indoors) and another night of broken sleep, thanks to a weird, brass-band-centric nightmare. I have little spells of nightmares every so often, and brass bands are disproportionately represented. Favourite nightmare from this little lot was called 'Baby Vampire Steals your Passport...and Soul!!' and featured a vampire baby stealing - you guessed it - my Passport, then swooping back for my eternal soul. I woke up screaming and clawing the air, but then started laughing. Baby vampire? Oh please.

My favourite nightmare is a recurring one. I am walking through an Arabian Nights-style spice market, when suddenly I know with total clarity that at any second a giant robot cobra (Cobrot?) is going to rise from the ground and terrorise the city. Then it does. Here is what it looks like:
Well, more or less. This is not the worst drawing this post has to offer, either

The first couple of times I had this dream I ran from the giant robot snake and woke in terror. The next couple of times I tried to warn people, but they wouldn't listen - cue snake, destruction, terror. Now, however, the dream isn't really scary any more - I know that a) the snake will arrive no matter what; b) no-one will listen to my warnings and c) the snake, while scary, never actually harms me. So now I just sit back and watch the destruction. It's really quite a calming dream.

There are some who suggest the snake is not really a snake, but is a Metaphor
but they are wrong.

Moving swiftly along.

I was talking to someone over messenger this morning, and used the phrase 'bare-faced liar'. They corrected me - "do you mean bear-faced?" and I said that no, actually I did not, and that I was pretty sure it was bare, not bear. "Really?" they said, "I always imagined someone wearing a bear mask."

Which reminded me of the time that Andrea and I pulled a fast one on an acquaintance. This acquaintance is the most pretentious person I know. Please bear (or bare) in mind that I have been to music school, joined a writers' group and been involved with the the-a-tah, so competition is stiff (and pretentious). But he is the Most Pretentious of them All.* Anyway, he was wanking on about something or other and happened to use the phrase, 'waiting for the other shoe to drop.' "What?" I said. "You know, waiting for the catch. Waiting for the other shoe to drop." "Oh! Haha. It's 'ball,' not 'shoe.'" "Oh, right, like juggling or something?" He totally bought it. For someone who thinks he is highly intelligent, he's really...not very intelligent.

As far as I know he still says it. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to imagine him holding forth at length on some crackpot theory and finishing off with, "..and really, we're just all waiting for the other ball to drop." Yeah, yeah, juvenile, I know.

Anyway, am going to go and combat the crappy weather by making biscuits - chocolate biscuits with candy-coated chocolate chips in them, with dark & white chocolate buttons melted together on top, & silver cachous for fancy. Then the house will be warm and smell like baking! Yay.

*Example: he has decided that the only way to stop mankind's inevitable descent into a dystopian, violence-based, corporation-controlled society is to create an artificial intelligence. Obviously, he is the best candidate to build this. Actual word-for-word quote from around the time he realised this: "Since I have been very young, I have wanted to save the world. Luckily, I now know how." OH WORLD YOU SO LUCKY.

9 comments:

Kaileigh said...

It's like I'm in a parallel universe from you right now...

While I may have what could be considered "nice" weather (way way too hot for my tastes)...

I unfortunately do not get the yummy snacks that you are preparing. My meal preparation for the day? Noodles.. in the microwave. Ta-dah! And going to a study group/"party" later tonight so probably greasy pizza too :(

Do you keep a dream diary? You seem to remember dreams really well. I kept a dream diary once, as a school project for Psychology, they really do somehow help you remember your dreams better over time. I need to try again, maybe, at least so I can remember the ones with Sawyer from LOST :)

Sorry for the long comment, & also thanks for coming to check out Chic Chat :) :)

Jennifer said...

Lol at the ball-dropping thing. The weird thing is that it actually doesn't sound wrong...

Your dreams sound awesome. :D

Completely random: some tips for dealing with the zompocolypse

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

Wow. I was really worried about where we were all heading but, obviously now, I can breathe easy. I no longer have to wait for anyone's balls to drop. Fnar, Fnar.

mysterg said...

My bit of advice would be to never call a bear a liar to its face.

Baglady said...

I kind of like the idea of a bear mask, though it's not quite cheeky enough to be bare faced IMO.

wv=seand This is the way Liam Gallagher sings the word "sand". *yawn*

Sandy said...

My nightmares usually consist scantily clad women entertaining everyone but me. Why else would I call them nightmares?

IT IS ALLY said...

Kaileigh - long comments are absolutely fine! I don't keep a dream diary as such, but I do write the occasional dream down - the most kickass ones seem to stick with me.

Jenny - always in need of zompocalypse survival tips!

Tennyson - fnar fnar indeed.

mysterg - that sounds...sensible. Kind of.

Baglady - I also like the idea of a bear mask...but where would you wear it?

Sandy - maybe you should offer to pay them? usually that works pretty ok.

Molly said...

Have just found you via My London Street, been hanging out here and enjoying myself for a while ...

I once had a teacher who'd say 'waiting to catch the other ball'
wtf?
I thought that was very funny. Until I read your story that is. :)

Molly said...

Ack.
MR London Street.