Thursday, October 08, 2009

Sweet Poesy

I went to an open mic poetry night last night! We all wore berets and smoked clove cigarettes. Ha ha, no, it wasn't that bad, although there was the trad lone mic onstage with stool behind it. (I scorned the stool.) Some (few) of the poems were well written and well read, some (many)were well written but badly read, and some (most) were complete crap. My favourite was a pretentious guy wearing a beretish hat and sunglasses (inside), who said, "...I became engorged in the book." I hope he didn't get the pages all sticky.

Second favourite was the guy who made a big song and dance about having written a sonnet - evidently he didn't think that some pedantic person (me) would be ticking off the syllables on their leg as he went along. Worst. Sonnet. Ever. Every time he couldn't quite fit a line into 10 syllables he tried to pronounce the offending word as one syllable, which created quite an interesting performance style.

The Little Lion and some vodka convinced me to read a couple of poems - "There once was a woman from Venus / whose body was shaped like a-" "Enough poetry!" - which was an interesting experience. I was shitting myself but apparently it didn't show - hurrah for brown trousers! Maybe I will do it again sometime. But it's such a pretentious thing to do. I am torn.

In other news, someone burped at me down the phone today. We answer our phones really fast as they just click over into our headsets, and people are constantly going, "Ooh! That was quick!" and finishing conversations in the background. This guy had obviously felt a burp coming on and decided to release it into the wild while he was waiting for someone to pick up the phone. Sadly for me, he did not have to wait. "Welcome to Classifieds, you're speaking with-" "RAAAAAAAARP." And then he pretended that there had been no burp, which for obvious reasons was not overly successful. If I had been the burper, I probably would've just hung up. not struggled gamely on - but never mind.

Does anyone know the word for when a disease becomes extinct? (or, as a childhood friend of mine used to say, "goes extinct.") Is it 'eradicate'? As in, "since 1937, polio has been (completely)_________." I can't remember what it is and it has been plaguing me for days.


Holly said...

Still laughing at the thought of the burp down the phone, but also LOL at "engorged in the book". Methinks he means ENGAGED...!? Or absorbed? o.O

As for diseases, I think the term is "eradicated". It also gets used for pests, like, ah...rats, on an island where kiwi live. They get eradicated too. Oh dear how do I know this!?

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

I think wiped out does the trick.

Baglady said...

Burp is such a good word.
So is engorged. Hehheheeh.

Hi. Sorry I've been away for a while. I'm back now. Though I am going away again soon. Sorry. In advance.

wv= Matiessa - a type of Italian paint finish

omchelsea said...

Admit it. You were totally at Penis Slam.

Hannah Miet said...

As an occasional drunk open mic poet, I found this post hilarious.

As a sloppy sonnet writer in a beret and sunglasses who is currently engorged in a book, I am deeply offended.

mysterg said...

I have something for you over at my blog.

IT IS ALLY said...

Holly - Pretty sure he meant 'engrossed.' I hope so, anyway.

Yay for Baglady's return!

and thank you, mysterg :) I shall post it soonest!

omchelsea - it's not my fault so much rhymes with EVERY PENIS WORD.

Hannah - one day you're going to have to pick a side, you know that? It is like in Independance Day

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