Yesterday at work I won a tree.
About 4pm an email came round from the Head of Advertising. It said: "We have 8 potted kowhai trees to giveaway - email back to go in the draw to win one. Currently just under 1m tall and once planted outside will grow quite large. You must take your tree home tonight."
I emailed back. My mother loves a good NZ Native (plant) and this chance was just too good to miss. I mean, it will grow quite large! You can tell he's in advertising, can't you. I left work at 4.30 and said to a colleague, "Txt me if I win the plant." I didn't actually think for a second that I was going to win the plant. It would have been ridiculous.
Naturally, I won the plant. At five I got a txt from my colleague. "You won the Fucking plant," it said. I hurried back to work to pick up the Fucking plant. (Turns out this is a misnomer - I have had the plant for over 12 hours now and it has not Fucked anything. But my mother is very pleased, and it entertained the bus driver and the people at the pub next to work. "Is that...a tree?" "Yes. I won it... me and my tree. Havin' a beer.")
In other news, it's race day in a couple of weeks - I am not going (am working) but I am making a hat. Now taking suggestions for hat themes/decorations - so far "Live birds, with their feet hot-glue-gunned onto the brim" is the leader. Nothing rude please ("Make the hat nudist themed!!!11") as I have to wear this hat to work. Also, nothing too complex - please remember that I have not made a hat before.
Also, I've been super-slack in replying to comments - I will get on this.
EDIT: Ignore the hat question. More important is what I should dress up as for Halloween. I need suggestions. Morticia? Corpse Bride? Zombie Snow White? The choice is yours.
7 comments:
Elvira - mistress of the dark. What else? Either that or just get a hockey mask and go as Micheal Myers.
MARIO FROM SUPER MARIO BROTHERS. Moustache, dungrees, little hat. Make beeping noises.
Once I won a spray painted CD on a wooden Stand that said "You were awesome, but not awesome enought to actally win anything" or something to that effect. At least your prize was living.
You could go as a child. Wear your onesie, carry a blanket and suck your thumb and/or a binky/pacifier/imitation nipple of sorts. I'm sure any number of sex shops could help you in that department.
I would of suggested an Ant but that would set you up as a one trick pony.
So how a bout a pony?, you would need a partner in crime too fully pull it off and your back would be crap by the end of the night but nothing is more welcome to any party than a pony.
And I don’t know if this is correct comment etiquette or not but Im going to ask anyway.
Elvira its all about the boobs I get that, and Michael Myers is all about the blood. I so get that.
But Tennyson ee Hemingway, Elvira in hockey mask, an open neck Boiler Suit and carrying a machete would you be aroused or frightened. :)
Tenny - Hmm. Michael Myers not such a good idea. My face is my fortune, etc. Elvira worth considering, though!
Andrea - you are not the first person to suggest that, which is weird. I do make a good beeping noise though.
Ashley - I like your prize. And the onesie idea. Andrea and I have developed a plan where I convince all my colleagues that "Onesie Day" is a real holiday - more on this later!
Gary - true! A pony is always welcome. I need someone to be the pony arse, though.
Please host "Onesie Day." I'm begging you.
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