Yesterday at work I won a tree.
About 4pm an email came round from the Head of Advertising. It said: "We have 8 potted kowhai trees to giveaway - email back to go in the draw to win one. Currently just under 1m tall and once planted outside will grow quite large. You must take your tree home tonight."
I emailed back. My mother loves a good NZ Native (plant) and this chance was just too good to miss. I mean, it will grow quite large! You can tell he's in advertising, can't you. I left work at 4.30 and said to a colleague, "Txt me if I win the plant." I didn't actually think for a second that I was going to win the plant. It would have been ridiculous.
Naturally, I won the plant. At five I got a txt from my colleague. "You won the Fucking plant," it said. I hurried back to work to pick up the Fucking plant. (Turns out this is a misnomer - I have had the plant for over 12 hours now and it has not Fucked anything. But my mother is very pleased, and it entertained the bus driver and the people at the pub next to work. "Is that...a tree?" "Yes. I won it... me and my tree. Havin' a beer.")
In other news, it's race day in a couple of weeks - I am not going (am working) but I am making a hat. Now taking suggestions for hat themes/decorations - so far "Live birds, with their feet hot-glue-gunned onto the brim" is the leader. Nothing rude please ("Make the hat nudist themed!!!11") as I have to wear this hat to work. Also, nothing too complex - please remember that I have not made a hat before.
Also, I've been super-slack in replying to comments - I will get on this.
EDIT: Ignore the hat question. More important is what I should dress up as for Halloween. I need suggestions. Morticia? Corpse Bride? Zombie Snow White? The choice is yours.