Heading from property ad: "Do you Dare to View?" I hope the agent has set it up like a house of horrors. "And here we have the bathr- AAHHHH! IT'S A GHOST!"
Does anyone else work with people who appear to have little or no control over their volume? I do. About three of my colleagues will, at random points throughout the day and for no apparent reason, completely forget to use their inside voice and start roaring. I would be a much calmer person if this did not happen.
Also annoying me this week at work: colleagues constantly talking about Twilight. My office is full of women, which is bad enough because a) they spend too much time bitching about each other and not enough time shutting up and letting me work and b) it is not enough to be a competent colleague, you also have to be everyone's friend* but if I have to hear about the time that Jacob ripped his shirt off/ how well suited Bella and Edward are/ how cleverly the books are written one more time I swear to God that I am going to become a vampire and kill them all.
*this is TRUE and male colleagues do not do it. I would rather work with a bunch of men who are constantly swaggering round the office comparing penis size than with a bunch of women who are constantly swaggering round the office comparing penis size but pretending very hard that they aren't.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." TINY MINDS DISCUSS TWILIGHT AD INFINITUM OH GOD. I'm going to transcribe a bit of the conversation so you can see what I have to deal with. This is happening RIGHT NOW. TO ME.
"When [some character or other] took off his shirt the entire cinema, like, took this huge breath."
"Well that's the thing about vampires, isn't it, it's a sexual thing."
"Well, it's society's way of dealing with gay people, isn't it, we have a phobia of that, so we have to create something safer." Vampires are safer than homosexuals? Just quietly, I know which one I'd rather have bite me in the neck.
"Edward isn't gay."
"He definitely isn't! Hur hur hur." EDWARD ISN'T REAL FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU
"Edward or Jacob?"
"Jacob. But they're both young enough to be my children."
"I know. It's so wrong, isn't it."
"It's so wrong! If I was Bella, I don't know which one I'd choose." If you were Bella you would be far, far away from here and I would be happy.
Sometimes they talk about True Blood. Which is not better. Can't wait until vampires go back to being a bit passe. (Can't make the accent on the e - sorry chaps.)