Friday, January 22, 2010

Beaker*

*no relevance, I just had a beaker of coffee this morning and remembered how much I love saying the word beaker. Beaker beaker beaker. Say it with me.

Having just spent a morning doing real estate ads. Here are some of the better ones.

4 bdrm timber home on 1756m2 level section. Room for a horse, pets, lots of outhouses.
I said, "Do you mean outbuildings?" because I suspected the property was not actually covered in toilets but she said no, outHOUSES, as if she was speaking to a slightly retarded child. Who knows? Perhaps she was, perhaps the place is littered with shitters.

An absolute classic. Beautifully designed with retro stylishness this 2 bedroom beauty can't wait to show off it's 70s flair.
This house is going to be revolting. Revolting.

Let the home grow as your family needs change.
??? Maybe it is a magic home - "Gosh," moaned Robert, "I never thought I'd say this, but I've tired of the games room. Perhaps I need a change?" And as he spoke, the house shifted around him, and once again Robert thanked God he had read the ad in the paper.

10 acre (ha) lifestyle for country living!
I can only presume they mean 'ha' as in 'pfft, totally not actually 10 acres', because acres and hectares are different units of measurement.

Featuring 3 (could be 4) bedrooms.
"Well, lady, the house has three bedrooms, but if you play your cards right..."

Lots of hoe and garden for your money!
This was actually our mistake. Whoops. Wanna get your money's worth with those ho's, though. And gardens.

In other news, it's cold and raining today, and I am wearing jeans and a jersey, which is what you wear when it's cold and raining. My younger, blonder, sillier colleague came in wearing short shorts and a singlet top then whined about how cold she was and turned the heating way, way up and now I am too hot but I also have the giggles. I have too much ENERGY to be in the OFFICE.

8 comments:

BookieMonster said...

"Now, Beaker, you forgot the beaker. Get the beaker, Beaker."

IT IS ALLY said...

Oh, man, exactly.

Tarryn said...

LOL. You gave me the giggles with this one. Do you sometimes re-read your posts and have a little laugh to yourself? I think you do.

IT IS ALLY said...

Tarryn - Yeah, I do. I laughed about "littered with shitters" for about five minutes. I know that's not very cool.

Josh said...

Did you just use a possessive apostrophe in the word its? Ally I am shocked!

IT IS ALLY said...

No! Contraction of "it is." Don't panic me like that.

uglygirl said...

Beaker!

Me and Leez said...

HA! I feel like this is a fantastic way to get around saying anything! Confusing AND vaguely ironic!
"yes supervisor I have completed (ha) my project proposal"
"yes mum I have always (ha) washed my sheets on a regular basis"
"Of course it's not (ha) just about sex (ha)"

It's like saying momentarily, have you ever tried that? Whenever anyone asks you when you plan on doing something, "momentarily". Now? Soon? Later? Who knows!
Awesomeness squared.
Fuck bit drunk, possibly humorous.