Today I made a mistake. The mistake was hair oil.
I know that buying and using hair oil doesn't sound like something anyone in their right mind would think was a good idea but I was in the Asian Supermarket (other purchases included miso paste, shrimp crackers, and tinned bananas, which are fucking gross, what was I thinking) and then I saw the hair oil. I had just been overtaken by an Indian woman with an aggressive shopping trolley manner but lovely hair, and I was just thinking about how nice her hair was and then I looked in front of me and there on the shelf was this hair oil and I knew it was a terrible idea but it smelt like jasmine and had exotic words in the description and I was overcome by a sense of reckless adventure and I bought some and I put it on my head!
And now I look like a Greek banker and smell like a five-dollar whore.
Anyway it turns out that hair oil is not a magical non-oily oil, which I thought it was (why did I think this?) - it is pretty much like olive oil except it absolutely reeks of jasmine. I applied some hair oil - in hindsight, far too much - in the car on the way home and, after Mum had made me wind down the window, Kate hooted and said, "Lucky there aren't any whales around! Watch out for the oil slick!" "It is penguins and sea birds," I said in a dignified manner, "not whales," but they continued to laugh, then banned me from the communal lounge for being 'too pungent.' Fuckin' A I am. They won't be laughing when I wake up tomorrow morning with amazing hair.
I like to say I do these mad things so that you don't have to, but actually it is because I have very poor impulse control.
It is lucky the battery for my brand new digital camera (I finally bought one! expect photo blogs) isn't charged yet, because I would insist on showing you my oily goodness (if I were a fish, I would be very good for you) and then you, too, would think I was disgusting and no longer be tempted to vote for me in the Bloggies, hint hint. Gotten around to that yet, by the way?