Monday, February 22, 2010

Post! Fast!

Today I used Fastpost for the first time! It was exciting. Did you know you only have to pay 50c more per letter (if you are sending letters to where I am sending letters, which is Wellington) and then it travels at the speed of LIGHT??? This is exciting because NZ Post is all about the 'snail' part of 'snail mail' and sometimes about the 'losing your letter completely' part as well. In conclusion: Fastpost is one of those things it's worth spending more money on. Like wine and good quality writing implements, unless you're like me and constantly nick pens from work.

Not worth spending more on: high priced domestic flights. There's about a $40 difference (I made that number up, but it's probably about right) to fly to Wellington with Air NZ rather than with a low-cost airline like Jetstar or Pacific Blue. As far as I can tell everything is exactly the same - plane goes up, plane comes down - except when you fly Air NZ you get a free cup of tea and a biscuit. Did I say free? I meant a $40 cup of tea and a biscuit. Maybe the biscuit increases your charisma, or something?* Alcohol increases my charisma. But not my wisdom. I have been playing too many computer games.

You know what would be commercially successful? A Star Wars-themed hair salon, but what I was actually going to say was Twilight audio books read by David Attenborough. "Edward steps out of the undergrowth, alabaster skin sparkling. What a magnificent specimen we see here."


*Charisma Biscuit would be a good name for a band, or a military operation.

10 comments:

chris.dadness said...

Fastpost sounds like something thought up in the 1970s. Personal jetpacks! Colour photocopiers! Fastpost!

Charisma Biscuit would have had an electric violin as their gimmick, and would also have been in the 1970s. Probably Dutch. You can still order their albums - by Fastpost in fact. Forty Dollar Cup Of Tea was their ill-fated sci-fi concept album.

Stacey said...

You fool! (in the nicest possible way :P) The differences between Jetstar and Air NZ are at least threefold. 1) Jetstar is a million times more likely to change your flight time (like, by 12 hours) with minimal notice. 2) With Jetstar, if you're not there AT LEAST an hour early and already checked in (not even 'next in line to check in' but CHECKED IN) they will not under any circumstances let you on the plane OR refund your monday. 3) if you have a problem with Jetstar, you are a million times more likely to be treated like scum of earth, or not even be able to reach a human to complain to at all.

/rant

Have a good trip whatever you decide!

Stacey said...

Lol that should obvs be 'money', not monday ... <3

Garry said...

Happy Birthday. Check Birthday Themes for your Birthday

chris.dadness said...

Wow - you really scooped the pool on comments today. And also - I want my Monday back.

IT IS ALLY said...

Chris - Sometimes when I read your comments I think I should start a 'comment of the week' section - this is one of those comments.

Stacey - I'm one of the lucky few who have never locked horns with Jetstar (I almost always fly Pacific Blue). So I'd still fly with them. But you're right, one day they will lose my luggage and call me a wiener and my opinion will change forever, and I will remember this comment thread, and wish I had paid the $40 for the biscuit.

You funny buggers, with your Monday monkeyshines! (I just learnt 'monkeyshines' yesterday and now I want to use it all the time.) Why would you want your Monday back? Mondays suck!

Also, Zach pointed out that on Chch-Wellington flights Air NZ no longer serve the tea, just the shitty biscuit or, if you prefer, a little bag of vege crisps. And a small pottle of water.

uglygirl said...

On domestic flights on Qantas you get alcohol but with Jetstar et al you don't even get a real blanket, let alone a beer blanket. Of course, I live in Perth so domestic flights are longer than flights to Asia.

Ashley Louise said...

I work in a law office. Our building is right next door to DCSS (the dept. of children services and I don't know what the other "s" stands for). We have to send all information regarding child-support or really anything related to custody in family law cases to DCSS. If we mail them something, it takes TWO WEEKS to get to their building. If I walk it over it takes two seconds. Fastpost would be lovely in this situation.

Speaking of post I have sent the tea! It finally came on Saturday. Like I said, we could really use something like fastpost. But you should have it sometime within the next century. The box says it will be good until Nov. 2010, so good luck.

chris.dadness said...

I'm taking the slack way out, commenting on your [excellent] blog instead of writing stuff for mine.

IT IS ALLY said...

uglygirl - I suspect if I lived anywhere other than NZ I would feel completely differently about budget airlines. We don't know how lucky we are!

Ashley Louise - Suggest you steal a franking stamp (that's what they're called, right?) from the post office and get all MacGuyver on it. Yay about the tea! Thank you, will let you know when it arrives :D

chris - Not complaining. Your procrastination is my gain.