Friday, March 12, 2010

Lots of caps

New favourite sentence from a property ad - "Private viewings welcome. Need to go inside to inspect."

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THIS HOUSE DOES NOT HAVE GLASS WALLS
NO NO IT AIN'T ONE OF THOSE
IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE INSIDE FROM THE OUTSIDE WELL, YOU BEST GO ELSEWHERE
BUT ON THE PLUS SIDE YOU CAN THROW STONES

On another note, this morning one of my clients praised me for my professionalism. I didn't bother telling them that last night I almost gave myself a nosebleed trying to jam wafer sticks up my nostrils (I already had two in my mouth and was trying to create a 'Double Walrus' and it was going to be awesome.)

Also, you know how I was banging on about fancy titles for not-fancy jobs? Did you guys know that you now get receptionists calling themselves - or, perhaps, being called - 'Director of First Impressions'? I thought the woman I spoke to today - who had that in her email signature - was being tongue-in-cheek and I quite liked it and made a little joke, and it did not go down well. (The first impression I got was 'frosty and mildly annoyed.') So I thought maybe it was a wee just-their-company in-joke, and I thought it was kind of clever right up until I googled it and discovered that this is a recognised thing that people take seriously and what the hell.

I am all for respecting receptionists (I was one, once) and, what is it, Administration Professionals Day or whatever, and I know that everyone likes to feel important but, to step out of the PC zone for a moment, for fuck's sake. Back in the good old days like last year and/or before I found out about this, having Director Of... in your title meant you were actually a director. Of something larger than a stationary cupboard. Evidently I am a dinosaur.

Just a minute while I go and fetch the wafer sticks.

5 comments:

Joff said...

The people demand photos of the Wafer Stick Walrus, you know for posterity's sake..

a cat of impossible colour said...

Haha! I loved this post. Particularly the ALL CAPS.

THE ALL CAPS BIT WAS ORSUM YOU ARE ORSUM ALL CAPS.

Director of First Impressions is ridiculous.

P.S. Stationery with an 'e' is envelopes and such - with an 'a' is the adjective. I know you already know this and it was a typo, but I thought I would put myself forward as a Wiener for the next set. :)

Hexen und Schnecken said...

GREAT POST! Well done. So good that I'm envious. You're getting better and better, you know that?

Kosmic Freeway said...

Personally, I prefer the title 'Deceptionist'.

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