Monday, March 08, 2010

This Weekend I Learnt...*

*or maybe I Learned, I'm not quite sure. I did the more grammatically correct one, anyway. This Weekend I Knowed.

1. Not having a laptop is awful! No internet from 6pm Friday to 8am Monday! I know, I know, other people have real problems*, but I am resenting having to live in the real world. Go away, real world. I want my Internet world back, it doesn't make me put on makeup. Or pants.

*like Irritable Bowel Syndrome

2. My dog is a huge racist! Took him for a walk and he started to bark at a Chinese woman. Mentioned this to Mum as usually he doesn't bark at anyone, and she revealed that he always barks at Asians. Bad dog. Am afraid to wonder aloud about the evolutionary advantage of this.

The adorable face of discrimination.

3. Grapefruits support overpopulation! Kate came storming in yesterday talking about how eating grapefruit makes the Pill less effective. Mum, who likes us all to have a grapefruit with breakfast for the good of our health, suggested we all "become celibate for the grapefruit season." Har har HAR. Suggested back that maybe excess of grapefruit was Mum's underhand way of getting grandchildren. Basically it's just one more reason to say Fuck Grapefruit! and an excuse for me to link to that awesome graph.

4. Email Read Receipts are really annoying! (Those things that, after you've opened, read, and closed an email, pop up like the Word paperclip and say, "Mark Jones has requested confirmation that you have read this email.") Apparently they exist so that the Mark Joneses of the world, who evidently have far too little to worry about, can sleep well at night in the knowledge that their wee email safely reached its destination. Secret: This is not actually why they exist. It is actually so that Mark Jones can call you right in the middle of morning tea and go, "Hi Ally - you haven't responded to my email... which you read this morning at 8.43am."

Tomorrow: Photos from the Chinese Lantern Festival! Which, for obvious reasons, Charlie did not attend.

6 comments:

apple cheeked, potato shaped girl said...

haha, my Dad had a racist dog too, he would bark at maori people. no one else

the strange thing is that we have a close friend who is maori and the dog never barked at him.

awesome graph

uglygirl said...

I think "learned" is the American spelling because Microsoft spell-checks don't like it when you you write things like "learnt".

The medical profession would debate whether IBS is a real problem or just something made up.

I love this racist pet idea. I wonder if there is a market for racist pets, for neo-Nazis and that Kiwi politician you wrote about before.

Holly said...

LOL! It took me a minute to register why the comment about the lantern festival was funny. At first I just thought "Oh, of course she wouldn't take her dog to a crowded event."...then I twigged. HAH!

otherworldlyone said...

My lab must be racist too. He only barks at black men, like our local delivery man. The poor guy is too terrified to get out of his truck.

Your dog is adorable.

Re the email receipts: I didn't know such a thing existed. Thank gawd.

WV: sacque - The French version of sack? As in ball sacque?

IT IS ALLY said...

I had no idea so many people had racist animals! Yay!

Kat - that graph is how I judge my fruit.

uglygirl - I'm actually not sure what IBS is, it just sounds unpleasant. I wonder if you can train pets to be racist, or if it's natural?

Holly - Well, yes, that too. And he would've destroyed the lanterns.

ow1 - not actually my dog - he is that breed, but he's a more metal version. Shaggier and more badass. Nice wv! As in, "le ball sacque."

Fraser Dron said...

Randall Munroe is being totally unscientific. Grapefruit taste awesome.

Charlie could use a haircut, the hippie.