Ball & bums

I went to a ball last night! Look, here's a photo of me and a colleague all dressed up. We wore fake nails. They took forever to stick on and by the end of the night she'd lost three, and I'd lost two so pulled all the other ones off. But there was a solid hour or two in there where we looked like proper ladies.

(Her face doesn't actually look like that, I have blurred it out in Paint to Protect Privacy.)

PROPER LADIES.

Significantly later in the evening.

Also, last night in conversation it came up that some people just have really cold bums, and I wanted to see if anyone else has come across said bums (not a pun). Here's how the conversation went:

Friend's pregnant wife: "...and if I went, it would be cold."
Friend: "Do you get cold? When you're pregnant?"
Wife: "...yes. You're not like a whale, all covered in blubber."
Friend: "Oh. I thought, because you have another person..."
Wife: "Not how it works."
Friend: "Oh. But you're always warm when you're spooning!"
Pause.
Friend: "Although, some people just seem to have really cold bums. Have you ever noticed that?"

And I thought about it and realised yes, yes I have. Have you guys ever been in the position where you are spooning (and you are the big spoon, and both the spoons are nude spoons), and you notice that the other person has an inexplicably cold bottom, and it never warms up?

I think these people are some sort of bum vampires. Too tired to develop that theory any further right now but I'm pretty sure I'm right. Be wary of them.