Wednesday, February 02, 2011

The Vast Eggplant

One of the best things about being temporarily unemployed is that on hot days like this, I can just sit about in a skirt & bra, give myself a superhero name('Bra-Man') then whisk off to the kitchen to make a coffee and marvel at the size of our most recent eggplant ('Egg-Hulk' or perhaps 'Hulkbergine.')

Behold His awesome majesty!
Milk bottle there for comparison.

Also, for those of you who are on Twitter (and preferably within New Zealand otherwise this is going to get waaaay out of hand), I accidentally started a Twitter Valentine Event. It is like Secret Santa - you email or DM me your postal/email address (or both if you have no preference for real card or ecard), then I stalk you email you your Valentine, and you send and receive warm, fuzzy anonymous love.

(The best kind of love.)

If you would like to be a part of this highly twitteromantic event, I am tweetable on tarquin_death and emailable on

If you're not on Twitter but would like to be included anyway then I guess that's ok, just email me. Please do attempt to be in NZ though.

And now, time for a brief poll*: I am writing a story and need a name for the male romantic lead. From an impressive pool of suggestions including such gems as Gunther, Duncan, Raoul, Shane, and "Sebastian, but later on it turns out he likes boys," I have whittled it down to five possibilities:

& Ringo.

I'm not sure why I left Ringo in there, but I did.

I would very much appreciate your vote on which one of these is the best name. If I have done it right, there will be a poll on the sidebar -------->
which you can vote in!

If I have not done it right and there is no poll, you're just going to have to resign yourself to sentences like, "Ringo's sensual mouth curved cruelly as he surveyed the vast aubergine."

*not, as initially anticipated by me, a poll about my briefs


HORansome said...

"Extra Slim."


Word verification: phale: to not succeed in doing a PhD.

chris.dadness said...

Not happy that Ross did not make the cut. Is it too late to suggest Colin?

Rob's Blockhead Blog said...

Cedric or Ethlred should be there. And maybe Arthur.

Good pre-Norman Conquest Anglo Saxon names. They convey sturdy, old fashioned values, with - in the case of Ethlred - only a slight touch of the Sebastians.

You've got 4 names which came into the English language by way of the dodgy Normans, and Ringo, which came by way of the dodgy 1960s.

Oh, and Harrison, which is a good name for a gerbil but that's it.

Not romantic lead stuff at all.

Zach said...


Holly said...

Holy crepe that is one big eggplant! :O
I DMed you on Twitter, btw. :)

Phil said...

Blimey - that eggplant's a big 'un.
Moussaka fer Africa, baby, yeah!

slommler said...

That is some eggplant!! Wowzers!!
I voted for Alex...a good strong sounding name!! Ha!
And I wish I was sitting around in skimpy clothing as well!! It is so cold here right now and we have tons of snow! Yuck! I yearn for spring!

cerebral e said...

I can't believe you bother with a bra and skirt. "Boobie Girl" is a far more potent superhero than Braman.

Ringo is a character on the Aussie TV series Neighbours, although I think he was recently killed in a post-natal depression/drunk-driving/road traffic accident that was witnessed by his new bride.

Em said...

Will Ringo have a throbbing manhood? Because that would work either way...

Da said...

Honestly, I can't believe how rude Em's become!
Great Aubergine ... did you grow it or make it from a set of parts?

IT IS ALLY said...

HOR - Phale indeed. Or perhaps phat whale? As in the most gangsta of all the whales.

Chris - Yes! And also Colin is a TERRIBLE suggestion. As is Rupert. I am pre-empting any Ruperting.

Rob - Yes yes I take your point but the story is set in not-feudal-England and therefore Ethelred would be incongruous. You are right about Harrison being good gerbil name, though. Harrison the Gerbil.


Holly - Thanks! On both eggplant and DM.

Phil - Am afraid to attempt Moussaka. It sounds complex and easy to make disgusting!

SueAnn - I'll swap you... it's way too hot here! Maybe I should call the eggplant Alex as well. A good strong name for a good strong eggplant hehehe

cE - Boobie Girl and Braman are OBVIOUSLY nemises. Nemisises? Each other's nemesis YOU GET MY POINT

Em - EVERYONE will have a throbbing manhood. Even the girls.

Da - Mum grew! Or perhaps assembled. There are 4 more on the way, we are going to drown in purple eggplant sea