WIENERS OF THE WEEK: THIS EDITION
Blogging will be less grumpy when life is a bit less like an episode of the OC.
People who squint up at the sky when it starts raining
Oh no! What is this wetness?
Where is it coming from? Up there?
But I can't see anything up there!
WHAT IS GOING ON OMG THE SKY IS FALLING.
Imagine these people going about their daily lives. "Rupert urinated into the bowl, then looked down at his penis in puzzled surprise."
The woman standing beside me at the ANZAC Day service who talked during the Last Post
Really? During the Last Post? What next, you're going to start roaring "My Humps" over the top of the national anthem?
If you're going to be disrespectful, don't come to pay your respects.
Also, you'd think someone so rude must have been talking about something equally revolting, but no. What was so important that it had to interrupt the moment of remembrance? "Oh, I think we go to the same church, I'm just down the road!"
And at that at that moment, in some celestial cafe, a whole bunch of gods looked at each other and went, "Not mine!"
Remuera Coffeeshop Wiener
This would be better if I could remember the name of the coffeeshop, but I was ordering a coffee at the counter and my hands shook when I handed over the cash. (Sounds like start of bad gigolo romance.) My hands often shake (I am like a Chihuahua, all yapping and shivering) which has no real effect on life except that sometimes people think I am trembling with lust when I'm not. Apparently it also turns some people into wieners. The guy behind the counter said, "Your hands are shaking."
OK, fair point, yes they are. I said, "Oh, I always shake" and thought the conversation was over, but apparently not, because apparently R is for Remuera and also for Rude.
"Why do your hands shake?"
"They just do. They always have."
"Have you been to a doctor? You should get that checked, you're very young-"
I made some sort of awkward mumble but what I should actually have said was "this is none of your damn business, stop being so nosy and make my coffee." Wiener.
People who ask what's happening in movies
If you were quiet and watched the movie instead of asking me stupid questions, you would know what was going on.
"That's the father again."
"What's he doing?
"Spinning a little top thing."
"Why's he doing that?"
"THIS IS INCEPTION NO-ONE KNOWS WHAT'S HAPPENING OH MY GOD"
I know I'm going to be widely disagreed with here, but I am completely over PostSecret. I used to really enjoy it but now I'm just bored and a bit annoyed - partially because too many self-satisfied secrets and not enough interesting/amusing ones, but more importantly because of this:
PostSecret does a lot of good by raising money for, and awareness of, suicide prevention, which is awesome. I just don't like the way they're doing it. I really don't like how, a couple of months back, they wienered up by posting a voicemail that a woman had left for her boyfriend right before she killed herself. (I'm not linking to it, you all know how to work the Google.)
I'm pretty sure you can raise awareness without creating a figurehead in a way which is disrespectful to the woman's family and friends, insulting to her memory, and teeters on the line between raising awareness of mental illness and just raising awareness of PostSecret.
Maybe it was just an error in judgment, but if so it was a pretty fucking massive and distasteful one (if nothing else, how many people who might have called someone for help when they were feeling suicidal have been put off doing so for fear it'll end up all over the Internet?) and I am tarring them with the wiener brush.
Wiener brush sounds a bit wrong.
For more wienering, please see my 7 Deadly Sins of Facebook list. I know how much you guys love it when I link to one blog on the other blog.