Saturday, April 30, 2011

Dinosauromance*

*or perhaps, Shagosaurus.

Imagine if Romeo and Juliet was about dinosaurs. Carnivores vs Herbivores. Raptor falls in love with a Triceratops despite the fact that their families are ancient enemies and tend to eat each other.* It's also sort of like Twilight, but with more relatable characters and an better plot.

Romeo & Juliet: Age of Lizards

The star-crossed lovers frolic in the prehistoric sunset as a disapproving family of Stegosaurs look on.

Imagine them, staring into each other's eyes, roaring their forbidden love across the savannah (?) and startling a passing flock (?) of pterodactyls.

Final scene: Dinosaur Romeo finds Dinosaur Juliet sleeping, and drinks deadly swamp water in despair. Dinosaur Juliet wakes, finds Dinosaur Romeo dead, and stabs herself with one of his claws. Stegosaurus Family arrive.

The smallest stegosaurus says, "For never was a story of more woe / Than this of Juliet and her Romeo" but it sounds like "HOOaaaaaargh rrrrrooooAARR AAARRROOOOHHH" because of being a dinosaur.

Cut to scene of rapidly approaching meteor.


Sorry I've been so bad at responding to comments recently. It's not because I don't love you, it's because I'm fairly lazy and very easily distracted. I'll get around to it, please keep leaving comments, I love comments. And you.

News: I start my new job tomorrow. Equal parts excited and horribly nervous about fucking up. Do some lucky things for me maybe, like cross your fingers and hold your breath while you're going over a bridge and don't have sex on the couch when people are home because someone will inevitably walk in on you and that is exactly the kind of unlucky that I don't need.

Also, thanks to my mysterious benefactor for the sexy new header! It's me, doing my tuba burlesque routine. Clearly.

*and they didn't live in the same time period, but shhhh!

13 comments:

Parsley The Lion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Parsley The Lion said...

I recently read "Tooth and Claw" by Jo Walton, which is based on the Victorian novels of Anthony Trollope but involves dragons. So a dinosaur version of Romeo and Juliet seems perfectly acceptable, although I'm not sure how they'd do the balcony scene.

Good luck with the new job.

IT IS ALLY said...

The balcony scene would have to involve a volcano, I think. Also Parsley is a good name for a lion!

Parsley The Lion said...

I was thinking it could involve a glacier - makes as much sense as a Raptor and a Triceratops falling in love (I could make a joke here about getting the horn, but I won't).

Parsley the Lion comes from a kids TV show:
https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Parsley_the_Lion

slommler said...

Hey! Don't be downing Twilight! Ha!
One of my favs!!
And I love your romantic scene. Makes perfect sense to me...but hey...I like the Twilight series...so what do I know
Hugs
SueAnn

IT IS ALLY said...

SueAnn - Sorry about the Twilight dissing! Haven't read it, only seen the films. Pleased you appreciate the appeal of Dinosaur R & J though!

Kate said...

I would read/watch the SHIT out of that. And what with all the reworkings of classic novels cropping up lately - Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and other things of that ilk - your re-imagining of a famous Shakespearean love story with roaring fanged creatures is probably very marketable. (Although I'm picturing it as a bitchin' Claymation film, personally, not a book.)

tennysoneehemingway said...

Of course, to make it really authentic, the family Stegasorous would eat the dead Romeo and Juliet. Or were Stefasorous's's's's, the vege eaters? Ah, Shakespeare, such a wealth of knowledge needed for something so simple as a rom com.

Johi said...

This is the kind of stuff I think about when I am taking NyQuil.
I love your new header.

Raz said...

Good luck for the new job! I'm sure it will all good smoothly and be fantastic. Positive vibes.

Juicebox said...

If one family is herbivorous, they won't want to eat the other family. Unless the other family is made of broccoli. Are they made of broccoli? Because if they are, the sex would be weird.

THE SARCASM GODDESS said...

You are my favorite.

IT IS ALLY said...

Kate - Oh man. You have struck some gold there. Shakespeare + Dinosaurs = LICENSE TO PRINT MONEY.

tenny - I believe the Stegos are the vegos. But they might make an exception.

Johi - Glad you like the header! I think like this all the time. Not even kidding. It is amazing that people believe I am a professional.

Raz - Thank you! It's going well so far, your vibes have worked

Juicebox - I wonder if there is broccoli porn? Maybe the carnivores want to eat the herbis, but the herbis would be content to crush the carnis with rocks then leave the bodies to the elements. (Johi - see what I mean?)

Sarcasm Goddess - ...are you being sarcastic?