Ice bears, snails, butter sculptures*

*you can pretty much rearrange those five words whichever way you like and they will make about the same amount of sense.

Hello everyone! This week's theme is 'grumpy and exhausted,' which you may recognise on account of it being the theme for the last two months. I would be tempted to say I've 'finally flipped' but I believe we all know I flipped some time ago! I am like a burnt pancake.

This is what I feel like a lot of the time. Fuck you, ice bears! I am over your ice bear bullshit! I am a real bear!

I have no idea how that relates to anything. Anyway. Work, while enjoyable, is extremely time-consuming and so in general I am either at work or sleeping, and sometimes that makes me forget that I have lovely friends and family and extremely handsome boyfriend and instead push over all the ice bears.

Also, I keep standing on snails. I'm not used to popping outside on a damp day to find the local snail coffee group meeting on the front porch ("Did you hear Minerva posed for Invertebrates Weekly with her shell off?") and so I go bounding joyfully out into the day and CRUNCH! and I feel awful. Especially because I have a tendency to imagine the snail's last moments when it looks up and sees the giant foot descending and it moves faster than it has ever moved before but that still isn't very fast because, well, snail, and then- CRUNCH!

Poor snails. Sometimes I'm just wearing socks and that's even worse. CRUNCH! SQUIDGE! EUUURRGGGHHHH.

And goodness me if I haven't got distracted by the Googler, but did you guys know about the Ice Bear sculpture which is touring the globe to raise awareness about global warming? I know, I know, global warming, but pay attention! This is cool. It's an ice sculpture of a polar bear which gradually melts, revealing - no actually I'm just going to show you the pictures.

Ice sculpture of polar bear. Nice, but would be equally if not more impressive if made out of butter. Does anyone else find butter sculptures fascinating? I remember once we went out for dinner somewhere super fucking classy - obviously, you can tell a place is classy when it has a butter sculpt- handsome boyfriend? Are you reading this? When are you going to take me somewhere with a butter sculpture? Anyway, there was a butter sculpture of a sumo wrestler and it had veins popping out and everything.

Back to the bear now.

Ice sculpture of a polar bear with what appears to be black lines drawn on him

Ice sculpture of the thing Stephen King rides to work in his mind

Ahhhhh!

It's his skeleton!

Yeah, I think that's about me for the day.


(Also, I feel less grumpy and exhausted now and that is pretty much the point of this blog so thank you, and also sorry about the terrifying undead ice bear.)