Monday, July 04, 2011

Bum

Hello everyone! No news here except that I recently acquired a full-length mirror and it turns out that my naked bottom looks nothing like I thought it did. Frankly, I'm a bit disappointed. Might have to start doing some bummercizes.

Does anyone know any bummercises? (One British spelling and one American spelling, for fairness.) I spent about 2 minutes clenching my buttocks while watching TV this evening and all that happened was- wait, why am I telling you this story? Never mind.

It seems weird that one could be 23 (in fact almost 24, it is my birthday soon) and have such an incorrect idea of one's own rear end. Now I am buttockally insecure.

Quick, everyone, tell me I have a nice bum! I don't have a photo of it, but it looks like this one:

Or at least until recently I thought it did.

In un-bum-related news, the most terrible thing happened to me the other night. I was having a dream where I was at a party and ran into New Hot Guy from my work and, in this dream, he was madly in love with me and went in for a pash.

Did Dream Me seize the opportunity? No, Dream Me did not. Dream Me said, "Sorry, I've got a boyfriend" and went home.

God damn it, subconscious. I just cock-blocked myself.


On the plus side, I'm going to Christchurch this weekend for some family time (yay), some boyfriend time (yaaaaay) and some hardcore brass bandage* (yaaa- hmmm).

See you after!


*What does a tuba player need when he stubs his toe? A br- oh, fuck off.

8 comments:

chris.dadness said...

Love how you did exactly what Michael does, ie free associating out loud, and then making it into a joke where the punch line is exactly the thing you just said. You 7-25s, what a bunch.

IT IS ALLY said...

I am young at heart and Michael is an old soul. We meet somewhere around 17. Also, I hope Michael does not use the same sort of language I do! :O

bluzdude said...

If your bum looks like that, then you have a very nice bum indeed.

Baglady said...

Was your dream pre or post bum-discovery? I wonder if you still thought your bum was hot whether you would have turned down New Hot Guy if you knew you had a fit pair of puppies.

Josh said...

You wanted me to misread that as hardcore brass bondage didn't you? You have a great bum and it's a great pity that it is off limits due to boyfriendage

Anonymous said...

Have you by chance been sitting on the toilet? I humbly suggest that if, instead, you put feet on the china and squat your rear will tighten and become naturally like the so-nice photo. Thankyou.

a cat of impossible colour said...

I miss you! And your bum.

jo said...

I really want to know what the ending to the tuba joke is...