Thursday, November 10, 2011

Forgot to feed the larvae.

Hello! I am a busy bee.

The thoughts of a busy bee.

I've been super busy with home and work and learning to polymorph (so that when I go into work and someone says, "Oh, can you please write up this article about the debt crisis?" I TURN INTO A DRAGON*) but things are starting to settle into a nice routine.

If we had a magic clock like the Weasleys of Harry Potter fame do, my hand would spend a lot of time lingering on Library, Work, 'Up to Fucks' (which is my colleague's delightful way of saying 'not doing much': I think it is short for 'Up to Fuck All') and Doing 15k on the Motorway.

Vaguely related question: Does anyone except me take a vitamin?

Handsome Boyfriend (HB, like the pencil) insists I take a multivitamin every morning, presumably so that I don't crumble up like an Egyptian mummy (or, in fact, a mummy of any nationality - did you guys see that story about the Russian man who dug up 29 dead bodies, dressed them, and kept them around the house? I forget if he mummified them himself or if they came pre-mummified).

The multivitamin thing initially annoyed me because I felt like a show poodle or something but then I realised it helps with the polymorphing.

Between getting dropped in town at about 8.20 (HB starts work at 8.30 and we carpool as a) his work pays for his petrol and b) I do not have a car) and starting work at 12 I tend to muck about in the library, because it has free internet!

The only annoying thing about the library is that if you need the bathroom you have to pack up your computer and bag and charger, etc. etc. And that is what I am going to do now.

***

On the way to the bathroom I walked past a display on Crafts (including a book is called 'Indie Crafts', because when one is crocheting, it should be clear that one is crocheting ironically) and my eye was caught by a book called 'Maskwork'.

I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but I totally am because the cover promises a level of awesomeness rarely approached by books on crafting:

Mask entitled 'Help! My Beard and Mohawk are on Fire!' or possibly, given the staunch pose, 'My Beard is on Fire? Fuck You.'

My favourite mask was Fig. 108. 'Raven with Two Beavers.' I think I might make it later.

Why would you sad when you were wearing Raven with Two Beavers?

That's it for library news but now, the New Zealand corner! Cue powhiri.

Firstly: if you're voting in the election and don't know which voting system to choose, I have written a helpful and humorous guide over here. It discusses MMP, FPP, the other ones and the Baboons of Inequality.

(Colleague came over yesterday and said, "What are you working on?" I replied, "Funny article about voting systems." She said, "Voting systems aren't funny." I said, "Well they will be." She thought for a bit then said, "You're sort of like a monkey... in a cage, aren't you. And every so often they come and poke you with a stick and say, 'Be funny, monkey!'")

If you don't give a shit about the elections but aren't done reading stuff on the internet yet, there is an NZ version of the Onion, called The Pigeon. Sometimes I think Pidgeon should have a D in it but then some people spell hamster 'Hampster' and no-one invites them to dinner.

*No-one makes dragons write up articles on the debt crisis.

3 comments:

Me and Leez said...

So, the library sounds fun. I think the best thing about flatting with nerds is that they buy internet. And since I left my laptop in my office all year (YEAH I GOT AN OFFICE) I subsequently did not pay for internet and am now using my week of post-dissertation freedom to rape the flip out of their gigs. Heh.

Don't even get me started on vitamins. I have a nutrition degree. (Wait, I have two nutrition degrees! However, this seems excessive, so I shall keep the second one in brackets, just like this), and in nutrition we have a special name for people who take multivitamins.
"Expensive urine syndrome".
Yep, true story, complete and utter motherflipping waste of time. (I feel like swearing is somewhat crude. However, I am marginally drunk, so am not in the intellectual position to posit an alternative. Why am I drunk and yet going to sleep at 11pm on a friday evening? Because I (foolishly) have agreed to run tomorrow morning at 7:30am. Why. WHY!)

I feel there was one more point. However, I cannot remember it. Oh yes, "Up to fucks" seems to be somewhat of a southern expression. Is said colleague vaguely southland-y? You can tell because they will wear jandals and stubbies when it is snowing and, one fateful day, when they scratch the back of their head, the speight's beanie will shift slightly and show you a tiny whisp of their rat tail.

END.

hungryandfrozen said...

I always used to take vitamins. I was expecting some chrysalis-like transformation, of which nothing of the sort happened, so gave them up. The thought of being able to polymorph sounds so useful I could cry.

Raven with Two Beavers. There are SO many things that could be the title of.

Juicebox said...

I totally am voting for the 'Pidgeon' party. Oh wait. There's no such party. Well I'm stuck!