No Le Snaks were harmed in the making of this post

Just kidding I have eaten three.

Today a friend called near the end of the work day to tell me about a major personal development in their life, which I was genuinely invested in, but before I could sympathise they said: "Also today I took [colleague] to a meeting and he tried to fit an entire egg in his mouth in front of the client."  

And then I forgot all about the major personal development in the sheer joy and hilarity of the egg story and couldn't stop laughing for five minutes and all in all,  it has not been a day strewn with achievements.  

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR COMMISSION

I did, however, manage to do my weekly shop! Because I am an Independent Lady* this shop consists entirely of meals-for-one, cider, rubbish bags if I remember which usually I do not, and the inevitable Le Snaks.  

Le Binj Eet.

Very occasionally there are also things like washing powder and toilet paper and toothpaste and all that other necessary but deeply un-fun shit that one has to buy when one does not really want to use baby wipes for what is admittedly their original purpose, but on a much larger scale. 

On a more serious note, the Backstreet Boys are playing in Auckland in I think May(?) and I really want to go and no-one will go with me.  

Apart from the fact that Backstreet's Back was the first tape I bought, and that for a couple of months I was going to marry at least one of them**, I just think that if a 90s boy band has the audacity to state in 1997 that as long as there'll be music they'll be coming back again, and then actually continue to come back even though it is almost 20 years later and they really should have stopped by now, then one should indulge them.  

"As long as we continue to fit our white suits, we'll be coming back again."

Normally I would rope in my sister for this kind of nostalgia-saturated lark but she is in Peru and therefore is no help.  I asked Delightful Colleague and she said "lol not for $90" and I asked Button and she said "ALLY" and then I was too afraid to ask any more people because there was too much playing games with my heart and also because professional adults are not meant to spend the afternoon trying to find colleagues to go to concerts with them, they are meant to do their reporting.   

This report summarises how I feel about my reporting.

Anyway, the key point is this: if anyone wishes to go to this concert with me then hit me up.  I don't care who you are, where you're from.  What you did.   As long as you don't make me go and see the Backstreet Boys by myself.

You can leave a comment or, if you would prefer your great love for BSB to go unnoticed, you can email me: tarquin.deathmongrel@gmail.com*** 


*Le Snak in my fridge, I bought it.  'Cause I depend on me.

**Brian.  But honestly pretty much any of them would have bee fine.  Preferably not AJ.

***one day I will get a more grown up email address, but today is not that day.