Tuesday, March 03, 2015

Operation Boyz II Men

Hi everyone!  That title will make sense later, maybe. This post is vaguely not-suitable-for-work because of a couple of pictures of butts.  You can probably see the first one already.  I'll keep typing just in case you opened this in a meeting and haven't scrolled down far enough to hit the butt yet.  Probably you should stop scrolling now, tab to a different window real quick and then read this on your phone.  If you are leading the meeting and happened to open this on the projector then you have my sincere apologies.

Was reading old blog post in the hopes of finding something of vague interest* and stumbled upon footnote that said "Charisma Biscuit would be a good name for a band, or a military operation" and guess what, this is still true**.  Many good band names would also be good military operation names, like Operation Arctic Monkey and Operation Atomic Kitten and Operation One Direction and Operation Das Racist and ok, maybe not that last one.

Operation Sex Pistols.

Speaking of linguistic errors and genitals, which we weren't before but most certainly are now, today I stomped professionally over to the copywriting department to ask something along the lines of "am I correct in thinking there is a testicle reference in your copy on this deal for personalised jewellery" but before I got there I was waylaid by a designer who had an important question, and the question was, "Do I need to pixelate the outline of the penis in this men's mesh underwear deal, or should I just put a little star over it?"

An alternate suggestion.

And by the time I had finished advising on the penis pixelation predicament I had completely forgotten about the testicle reference and, now that I think of it, Testicle Reference isn't a terrible name for a military operation either.

Particularly when one is invading Scandinavia.

In other news, had Dramatic Incident in supermarket car park yesterday; had put groceries (cider, Le Snak, meals for one) in back of car and was preparing to back enthusiastically out of park - it is on a slope, so one has to back enthusiastically otherwise one doesn't back at all, and then sometimes one gets stuck on top of the thing-to-stop-you-driving-into-the-garden with one's, um, bit-on-the-front-of-the-car*** which is potentially called a fascia but which I always thought was called 'The Fearing', which coincidentally is what I start doing when I get stuck on the thing-to-stop-you-driving-into-the-garden, and holy shit this sentence is a train wreck but my point is that I was about to start backing enthusiastically, except when I started the car it went "WEEEEEEEEKKK" and did not back at all.
It was like trying to back this pig.  

I tried again, tentatively, and the car went WEEEEEKKK again and lurched backwards so it was pokin' out into the throughway and I thought "OH GOD THE CAR HAS BROKEN DOWN OH FUCK" and then I thought "Ok Ally, you know what to do here.  Put hazards on. Put car into park. Put handbrake o-"  and then I discovered that handbrake was already on.  For fuck's sake.

What else has happened?  Not much else has happened.

Hopefully something interesting will happen soon.


*Didn't.

**I also found a second footnote, on the previous post, that said "Operation Scummy Buttocks would be a good name for a military operation."  This was perhaps not my best work. 

***I don't know what anything is called on a car.  I know what most things do, but not what they look like.  We have an Automotive event coming up at work, and it has its own little logo, which I was presented with and said "This little logo is delightful, what are those thingies in the middle that look like flags," and the designer said "They are pistons. They are inside the engine."  

HEY DO YOU KNOW WHERE A PISTOFF IS?  IT'S RIGHT HERE THAT'S WHERE IT IS

2 comments:

Stephen Stratford said...

"Particularly when one is invading Scandinavia." So I believe.

chris rees said...

I had never conciosuly thought of scandinavia as C&B before ... and I think about scandinavia A LOT. The angle of the Mull of Kintyre in Scotland is apparently used by BBC as the guide to if a penis is acceptably flaccid or unacceptably tumescent.