Thursday, July 23, 2015

but the flames move (a story)

Today at work my relatively professional (relative to me, I mean, so not that challenging) colleague took a vitamin then said "I feel like a million bucks!" then burped loudly by accident.  What was the highlight of your day?

Story: last week I purchased a heater. I was getting by with the tried and tested "put on a hoodie and get into bed" method of home heating but then Picnic was coming to stay, and I only really have one nice hoodie, so I decided it was time to invest.

This is what I invested in:
Displaying photo.JPG
Don't act like you're not impressed.

At work the next day, my colleague Button was unhappy about a work thing.  My other colleague (not the burping one, another one, I have many) said "Would it help to know that the rest of the business is in the same position?"
Button looked justifiably unimpressed and I said "Would it help to know that I bought a heater that looks like a little fire?" and Button said "Yes".  So that evening, to further help Button, I txt her a photo of the heater and waited for her excited response.

She said, "OMG.  How much did that cost you?"

Excellent, I thought, Button is delighted by my heater and perhaps even wants one for herself.

I said, "[unspecified amount so you don't judge my heater purchase]."

I also said "Worth it though because the flames move," and sent a second picture of the heater so that Button could better view its magnificence.

Then there was a bit where Button did not say anything. I presumed she was in awe at the glaring majesty of my heater.

Then she replied: "You're in trouble."

I said "are you mad about my heater bargain"

and Button did not reply

I said "please let me be out of trouble now"

and Button did not reply

and I started to panic about my heater bargain

and then Button said "Fine" and then Button said "NO MORE BARGAINS" and basically the moral of the story is that jealousy does not bring out the best in anyone, and also perhaps next time I shall invest in a more sensible heater.

I just was so over-excited because the flames move.


Maria said...

for some reason the photo of the heater isn't loading and i was going to leave an angry comment about it, but now i feel like it's adding to the great mystery of it all and i like it. like, that photo could be anything! i'm picturing a giant, actual fire somehow mysteriously contained in your living room. like in that one movie with the one thing. i can't think of the movie right now, but you know. the floating fire thing? oh man is your heater a floating fire thing? i promise i'm not drunk right now. it's 9:30 am in the U.S.

Hexen und Schnecken said...

I just was a little disappointed at first because I couldn't see the photo, but now feel like Maria that maybe it's better left to the readers' imagination. Anyway, can totally understand the appeal of moving flames.