Showing posts with label buses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label buses. Show all posts

Sunday, January 04, 2015

Turkey Tales: The Trees Have Eyes. Also, a story about a dog.

This post is really the last part of yesterday's post, but first, let's have a story about a bus trip and a dog.  It is a story from Turkey (I promise that one day we will return to stories from not-Turkey, but today will not be that day).

Anyway - this is a story about the bus trip from Istanbul to Ayvalik. 


This is Istanbul, so you can imagine it while I am telling the story.
Turkish buses are good.   They are set up like a plane; the seats are numbered and you have a little television to watch and every so often the bus conductor comes along and gives you a small snack, or a cup of tea.  

The cup of tea usually arrives as the bus is careening around a bend at Turkish miles per hour, and the bus conductor, who is young and enthusiastic and has so far hopped off the bus on three occasions to have a cigarette, lurches from side to side and pours boiling water into the teacups, and he is holding two in one hand because that is how he rolls, and all of the time he is grinning at you maniacally as if to say "my face may be the last face you see, but at least I am smiling!"

Anyway.  Two hours into the bus trip the conductor came and tapped me on the shoulder and mimed "do you have an iPhone charger".  I was using my iPad so it wasn't a particularly difficult mime.   I mimed back, "yes but it's in my suitcase which is in the belly of your bus" which was a more challenging mime.  

The bus conductor looked disappointed in me and continued down the bus and I returned to peeking at the guy in front of me's Clash of Clans village (it was not as good as my village) and I thought no more of it, and we continued on towards Ayvalik. 


This is Ayvalik, so you can imagine it while I am telling the story.

Two minutes later the bus conductor, now very agitated, reappeared and tapped me on the shoulder and repeated the mime about the phone charger and beckoned me out of my seat and up to the front of the bus, at which point the bus driver braked abruptly and pulled over on the side of the three-lane highway which didn't really have any room to pull over on and the conductor and I very quickly got out of the bus.

The conductor, very excited at this point, scooted round the side of the bus and opened the luggage compartment and I pulled out my suitcase and found my charger and looked back into the luggage compartment -


And behind the place where my suitcase had been was a dog in a cardboard box.  


The box was just the right size for the dog.  It was as if he had been purchased in the box and not fully unwrapped from his packaging.  His head was out a hole in the front, and his tail was out another hole in the back,  and he had been wedged in between other pieces of luggage to stop him bouncing around during the journey.  He looked delighted. 

I looked at the conductor and then looked back at the dog.  The conductor also looked at the dog.  Together, on the side of the highway, we stood and looked at the dog.

And then the bus driver yelled something in Turkish and we quickly got back on the bus and my iPhone cable was very useful and eventually we ended up in Ayvalik, but next time I get off a bus in transit in Turkey, I will take my camera with me, in case there is another dog.


ANYWAY.

In Göreme, Town of Fairy Chimneys, there was a tree with eyes.  It was near the Open-Air Museum, which is a collection of 10th and 11th century cave churches, and is also a World Heritage Site.  The museum looks like this: 


"please do not inhabit the artworks"

The cave churches are amazing if you are into cave churches, which I wasn't when I started, and then I was for about 45 minutes, and then abruptly I wasn't again.   Also it was too hot and I was very hungry and now I feel bad for underappreciating a World Heritage Site.

Maybe you would like to appreciate it?

Probably not what T-Pain had in mind

Right, that is enough appreciation.  

Once we were World Heritaged out, we walked back into Göreme, and on the way we passed three trees, all covered with different things.  It was like a weird fairytale where at every tree you expect a themed gnome to pop out and set you a tree-related challenge, although of course this didn't happen, which was slightly disappointing.

The first tree made vague sense. It was outside a pottery shop, and it was covered with pots:


Let us be glad that it wasn't outside a brothel.

The second tree was covered with plastic bags and made no sense at all:

THEY'LL COME IN HANDY ONE DAY LOVE

And the third tree was covered with eyes.




 The eyes are amulets called nazar, which protect against the 'evil eye'.  They're absolutely everywhere in Turkey - on necklaces, over the doors of shops and houses, painted on buses, in every single souvenir shop.   

This was the only time I saw them on a tree.



And that is the story. 

The story about the dog was better, and for this, I apologise.


All images © 2014 Ally Mullord unless otherwise stated. 

Monday, March 09, 2009

Not Shown: Sailor Moon

This was going to be another post o'pictograms, but then there was a huge family argument about sister's Horrid Boyfriend and now I'm kind of really tired, so you only get one. It's Shakespearean. Let it not be said that I lack culture.
Esta es la pregunta.

Spanish is going well! I have become one of those people who sits on the bus muttering to themselves in a foreign language...at first I look mad, but then one realises that actually I am an Intellectual and not to be trifled with. (Either that, or mad and Spanish.) Today on the bus I was sitting beside a large fat man. "Por que es el hombre gordo en mi bus?" I said quietly.

I am glad he did not speak Spanish.

You totally all know this already - everyone in the world who has ever indulged in using public transport knows this - but I'd just like to reiterate that the majority of bus passengers are, as my bus driver father used to say (no, really, he was and he did) the old & the mad & the young & the poor. This may be why it's statistically impossible for any one person to be on a bus for longer than five minutes without someone who possesses at least one of the following traits coming and sitting down next to you.

There's Always Someone...

- Unbelievably old and cantankerous
- Too big for their seat
- Talkative
- Malodorous
- Mad and/or incredibly high
- Either just out of prison or about to go in

Has anyone ever got a BusFlush i.e. sat next to any one co-commuter with at least five of the above qualities? Examples include, but are not limited to, the greasily fat old person who smells like death and tells you about their war years as one eye rolls crazily in their yellowing skull, and the heavily tattooed beefy guy who kind of smells like meat and keeps trying to look down your shirt and lean into you on every corner.

Buses rock if you like spending a lot of time cringing against the wall! I am walking to work tomorrow. Admittedly, there's no money on my MetroCard so I couldn't take the bus anyway, but that's not the point.

Boycott public transport! Walk somewhere! Leave the buses to the old & the mad & the young & the poor!

I wonder if my mother will lend me the fare.