A colleague of mine has asked me to write a 400-word article on winter fashion, despite the fact that I am totally un-hip. I am now desperately trying to find what is fashionable.
You know what would be cool? A bar where all the cocktails were named after musicians.
I am developing this idea. I think it's my brain shying away from writing fashion thing. (chunky scarves are a perennial favourite, surely? perhaps will do fashion thing at home, but then will have to do it longhand as have no internet access or USB stick).
I know! I'll call my sister! She is actually fashionable, not just impostor. I am not even impostor. I feel like a British spy, on their first assignment in Moscow, who has just realised they really should've learnt Russian before they left Liverpool.
wow, apparently with Skype I can call the phone number in my email signature with the touch of a button (click of a mouse). Which would be fairly pointless because I'm not there, and also because I don't know how headphones and so on work and the computer would probably start ringing frantically and I would be powerless to stop it.
Look up some fashion, for the love of God.
Apparently Oriental, Gothic and Military are all going to be big this season. I shall write that down. Also bomber jackets. I thought they were big last season? Perhaps this page is out of date. Good God, it's stating that Ugg boots are making a comeback. I give up. I am going to go now and phone home.